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    Rosekiller7100's Avatar
    Rosekiller7100 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 6, 2018, 06:59 PM
    I am so depressed, if someone would give me a hand?
    I'm a 13-year-old girl and I'm feeling so helpless! I really don't know what to do!
    Here's my situation:
    I just moved to the United States about 7 months earlier, well in my old country, my mum always beat me up and call me a or something. In my old country, I studied hard but I'm still not number 1, and I am sometimes careless and a little bit of lazy, though I tried to be a better self. She was dissatisfied with me and always screamed and roared at me, also she had broken a lot of my stuff, like my favourite colour pencil set, my comb, etc.. . She also held the big cooking knife threatening to kill me, and I was really scared!! And I'm serious that she will kill me if she's really angry!

    In the past I had dealt a lot with this depression it's bringing me. And I didn't know what to do.. . Did I do something really wrong?? Should I disappear? Well I tried to disappear but I couldn't, so.. . (magic won't happen on me!)

    In my old country, I used to try to throw little pieces of paper down to the roads and hoping that people may see (I know it's stupid but please don't laugh at me), neighbours won't care and I didn't dare telling anybody about it.. . ( My friends know a bit but they can't help and don't think I'm facing a serious problem) Now sometimes I screamed when she threatened me, I'm sure neighbours heard me or saw me, actually, but no one would help! I guess they just ignored me.. .
    In my school Cabin John Middle School in Maryland we just talked about different kinds of violence and our counselor told us that we could talk to her. She said it's not our fault if we are abused. But my mom is not like really hurting me, it's still legal to beat your own children unless you beat them really hard to death, right? So I can't talk to her, and I feel so embarrassed I will never find a way to face this!
    I'm not even sure if I'm depressed, in school, I'm still a pretty optimistic girl, laughing at everything and stayed positive.. . Only I know that sometimes I would feel really depressed, when I'm alone I feared everyone. If someone suddenly moved I would be really scared if he's going to kill me!
    I used to dreamed about perfect world. I know it's not perfect, even in mangas, the world STILL isn't perfect, but I just want to live in the manga and movies. That's why I don't like watching movies, everyone has his role and he is happy and good, only me was left out.. .

    Please help.
    Thank you so much.
    HC
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,869, Reputation: 5429
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 6, 2018, 08:24 PM
    Please talk to your school counselor and tell her what you've written here. Emphasize to her your mother's high expectations and your home country's culture.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,126, Reputation: 10852
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    #3

    Mar 6, 2018, 09:45 PM
    In my school ... we just talked about different kinds of violence and our counselor told us that we could talk to her. She said it's not our fault if we are abused. But my mom is not like really hurting me, it's still legal to beat your own children unless you beat them really hard to death, right? So I can't talk to her, and I feel so embarrassed I will never find a way to face this!
    I think you should take the opportunity to talk to this school counselor. I mean she did open the door so walk through it. Nothing to be embarrassed about and just what you need. Maybe it's the start of a dream come true. Someone on your side willing to listen and you don't have to throw notes on the road for some help.

    Give it a go.

    8)

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