Check out some similar questions!

elj123 · Aug 5, 2008, 06:12 PM

Hey everybody, I'm new to this site... but hopefully y'all help me answer my question.

Well anyway, I'm 16, never had a boyfriend, never even been asked out, I don't even have a guy friend. All of my friends have boyfriends or are talking to boys and just to put it out there... I'm not exactly popular (long story short, this one totally hot boy thought I was cute but then saw I was like a nerd "which is just a word for a smart person that dumb people are jealous of" and very unpopular and then flat out stopped talking to me). I think I'm starting to get low self-esteem because before I thought I was "hot stuff" but now I look in the mirror and I try to see all the flaws that guys must see (I hope that makes sense). It's actually starting to get me depressed and desperate just to throw myself at any old guy I see who first looks at me but I know that'll be wrong. But I have one small bit of hope, there's this one boy who I THINK (and this is a stretch) likes me, but I don't know at all, and I was wondering how I can find out or how to approach him? Keep in mind... we're both extremely shy!!

So if you didn't find my questions in there they were, "How do I get more guys to like me?" or "How can I have more friends and be more popular?" and "How do I know if a boy likes me?" and "How can I approach him if he's shy?"

Thanks in advance

KissMe10der · Aug 5, 2008, 06:18 PM

"How do I get more guys to like me?"
--be yourself, if they don't like you now... for who you really are.. they aren't worth it.

"How can I have more friends and be more popular?"
--be friendly, talk to everyone.. be yourself. Believe it or not.. but when you have been out of high school for a few years.. it really doesn't matter what you wore.. or who you hung out with... cause you won't see these people are much as you think. So just be friendly, and get good grades.

"How do I know if a boy likes me?"
-- Does he touch you when he talks to you? Like a little touch to the arm? Does he flirt? Do you talk to him outside of school? Try hanging out with him. Eventually it will come out of him whether he likes you or not.

"How can I approach him if he's shy?"
-- Ask him to hang out, or to help you with something. Get his email or call him. Just start a basic friendship.

BE YOURSELF... I know its all fun to have guys like you.. but it should define you or make you change. Your still growing up.. don't put yourself down! Being a teenager is hard enough.. believe me.. and you still have a few years left!

jjwoodhull · Aug 5, 2008, 07:27 PM

I agree with everything KissMe said. Also... focusing on your flaws and letting yourself get depressed about it will only make the problem worse. Everyone has flaws - and everyone has great things to offer. Focus on what you have to offer. Stay positive. Be happy. People are attracted to people who are happy and put their best self forward.

elj123 · Aug 5, 2008, 07:32 PM

Thank you very much KissMe10der. He seems to be very shy though, before he used to try to hold my hands but then I would get all shy and nervous and not know what to do and I wished I would've let him but he doesn't anymore so I don't know if he doesn't like me anymore. But he does try to talk to me which is like never since we're both so shy, but I want to talk to him more so what should I go up to him and say?

And jjwoodhull thank you too, I know I shouldn't focus on my flaws but it's like a bad habit, but I'll try to stay positive.

KissMe10der · Aug 5, 2008, 07:38 PM

Lol, simple...

You: Hi, How are you?
You: What have you been up to?
You: What did you do this summer?
You: Ohhh the weather (bad or good)...
You: Oh, wow.. I love that shirt.
You: New Hair cut? Oh, I love it.. it makes you look mature and handsome.
You: Did you see the new batman movie?
You: Have you tried this new restaurant?
You: What's your favorite food?
You: Have you ever seen this movie?
You: (Smile)
You: Oh, I got a new cell number... do you have it?
You: You should call me tonight, I have nothing to do... and would like a good conversation.

Start simple... Why worry? Once you get him talking.. it should flow from there.

ISneezeFunny · Aug 5, 2008, 07:39 PM

Don't worry too much about it... because by the time you hit college, there'll be guys falling all over you. The thing with high school is... everyone wants the jock or the cheerleader.

The thing about college is... everyone wants everyone.. . Actually, the idiots get left behind. Keep your head up, keep your smile, and you'll be just fine.

elj123 · Aug 5, 2008, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by KissMe10der

lol, simple...

You: Hi, How are you?
You: What have you been up to?
You: What did you do this summer?
You: Ohhh the weather (bad or good)...
You: Oh, wow.. I love that shirt.
You: New Hair cut? Oh, I love it.. it makes you look mature and handsome.
You: Did you see the new batman movie?
You: Have you tried this new resturant?
You: Whats your favorite food?
You: Have you ever seen this movie?
You: (Smile)
You: Oh, I got a new cell number... do you have it?
You: You should call me tonight, I have nothing to do... and would like a good conversation.

Start simple... Why worry? Once you get him talking.. it should flow from there.

KissMe... It seems so easy, but once I actually get close to him, it's like I freeze up. Like one time, I guess he saw me sitting by myself, and he came and sat by me and like I guess he didn't know what to say and I didn't either, so we just sat there and I just pulled out my phone like I was txting (yeah, I know, AWKWARD!! ) Like sometimes when you take a test, and it seemed like you studied the whole day before, and then you take the test and you just freeze up and don't remember anything (ok, well maybe that's not a good example, lol). But OK, I'll try...

Believe me I am very talkative!! but like when we do have a conversation it's like a mini-conversation for example: "Hey, how are you doing? I'm doing just fine, how bout you? Oh I'm doing pretty good. Well that's good." And that's seriously the longest conversation we ever had... but maybe I'll just keep asking questions this time...

elj123 · Aug 5, 2008, 08:03 PM

"Don't worry too much about it...because by the time you hit college, there'll be guys falling all over you. The thing with high school is...everyone wants the jock or the cheerleader.

The thing about college is...everyone wants everyone. ..Actually, the idiots get left behind. Keep your head up, keep your smile, and you'll be just fine."

ISneezeFunny (weird name... lol), thanks. I know once I get in college, I'll look back at high school and be like why was I so crazy over this and that but like because I'm in high school right now it's so different. I'm not trying to offend you or act like that's a bad answer or anything, but I'm just saying... Like I never thought about how it's so true that high schoolers only want the cheerleader or the biggest jock, which I'm neither, I'm the only black girl in all honors and AP, so I'm like a nerd, which I think leads to my unpopularity, but I hope you're right about guys falling for me in college!!

KissMe10der · Aug 5, 2008, 08:12 PM

Wow, different.. The smart girls in my school.. are the popular ones..

You know, I am always afraid of the awkward silence.. But I told myself.. NO, you can't do that!! So, you prepare a list of things to talk about.. Write it down.. lol.

elj123 · Aug 5, 2008, 08:23 PM

Yeah the popular girls in our school are the traditional cheerleaders. But yeah, I was just thinking about writing stuff down, mainly what you gave me, but I don't know if I'll be bold enough to ask him to call me... lol. But seriously KissMe, you have helped me more than I thought you would, I'm so glad I came on this site!!

KissMe10der · Aug 5, 2008, 08:26 PM

Just stick to the plan... lol.
Tell him to call you, why is that soooo bad. Tell him you need help with something.. I don't know lol!

And have music in the back ground and if you can't think of something.. hummm along till you figure out what to say!

This will be good for you! I know my friend is just like you..
Its hard for her to talk to guys.. But she actually talks better wth text... so she IM's them.. Gets to know them.. and it goes a little bit smoother.

elj123 · Aug 5, 2008, 08:43 PM

Yeah, I can text so much better, but I don't really know if he has a cell phone or not, but hopefully he does... I like that about the music, though... never thought about that one.. It's just so weird, like even talking to you, I'm pretty sure we could hold on a long conversation but when it comes to him it's just awkward. But I'm determined to talk to him!! Lol.. .