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    13hastai's Avatar
    13hastai Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 1, 2014, 01:30 PM
    Can someone check if these lyrics I wrote are okay?
    I know it needs tweaking but I wrote this in like 10 minutes and I was hoping to get some feedback.

    It's called stars

    Is it any wonder why I wonder
    what it is to see you smile
    If I only had a pony on that Christmas
    all those years ago
    I would be free,
    flying through the trees my hair lost in the sky
    But without you I'm nothing
    Is it any wonder why


    I see you staring back at me
    Wandering aimlessly
    Through the streets without a care
    I see you close your eyes
    Your mind set on the skies
    And the stars that one day I hope to ride


    Is there anyway that I can hide
    I can hide
    Up there in the lonely sky
    Lonely sky
    Waiting for my tears to dry
    Tears to dry
    Watching while I wait for you


    You cover me
    Cover me with your unscathed arms
    Living only to keep me from harms way
    Is it any wonder that's all I feel inside
    Lost in a map of harm that talks inside my head
    Only you can slay the dragon burning its words
    Burning forever alone
    Alone inside that magic and the magical tears


    I see you close your eyes
    Your mind set on the skies
    And the stars that one day I hope to ride




    Is there anyway that I can hide
    I can hide
    Up there in the lonely sky
    Lonely sky
    Waiting for my tears to dry
    Tears to dry
    Watching while I wait for you


    I will wait for a thousand years
    Years to tame the heart inside
    Inside of what I'll always know is a home for you to hide
    At the end of the days
    The weeks, the years
    I will love you
    If you'll love me
    Love me (x6)


    Is there anyway that I can hide
    I can hide


    Hide me (x4)
    Is there anyway that I can hide
    I can hide
    Up there in the lonely sky
    Lonely sky
    Waiting for my tears to dry
    Tears to dry
    Watching while I wait for you


    I'll hide here inside your arms
    Till the stars can burn no more
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Mar 3, 2014, 05:30 PM
    I think you have done a nice job. I Don't fully understand what it means but figuring it out is part of the interest. Stick with it

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