Lent money to a now ex-boyfriend, how do I go about getting it back.
Asked Aug 15, 2011, 12:17 PM
Over a period of 2 1/2 yrs. I lent my now ex-boyfriend a total of $48,000 Cdn. I gave him a paper to sign saying he owed me the $, he said he wanted to rewrite it & I never saw the paper again.3 weeks. Later he moved to a different province. Over the course of the 2 1/2 yrs. He continually said he would pay me back. But not one cent did I receive. I have sent him letters, emailed & texted him. He responds, but ignores the money issue.
I do have a few receipts that showed some amounts were placed into his bank account, but not for even half the amount. I also wrote down the days & amounts I lent him.
He's an ex NFL/CFL player & is in the news fairly often. He now works for Loblaws so has a stable position. He also has an ex-wife whom he says he has to give the majority of his pay to. I don't believe him. I have thought about going to the stores website & slamming him, however I don't feel comfortable doing that. I want my $ back, but I'm at the point of frustration & anger (mainly at myself for being ripped off), so I've backed off trying to regroup.
I guess if you can't afford to lose the money, don't lend it. Possibly a very hard lesson I've learned.
You can attempt to sue him, he will most likely claim the money you gave him was gifts, or you paying for items since you enjoyed the glamour of being with a pro sports figure.
** remember without any written proof of a loan, he can claim you just three money at him.
And it will be up to the judge to decide if some or part was loans or gifts.
I did not live with him, he is a many moons ago EX-football player, so that did not enter into the scenerio on my part. What about making it semi-public & going to a sports web site & embarrassing him. He is not 'saying' he will not pay me back, he is not acknowledging it, I gather you fellows will say that is the same thing.
We still text & email, but when I bring up the $, he will not respond. As far as written proof, unfortunately he has that in his grubby big hands. Perhaps I should just go to his place of employment & 'surprise' him, it might jog his memory.
I am sorry, I know from the way you talked, his being a ex foot ball player had nothing really to do with it on your part,
I am just giving an example of what he will or could say in court, he may try to show you as a shallow person who threw money at him for him to share his life with yyou.
*** you have no idea ( maybe you do) how dirty and nasty court can get.
The trouble with going public, if you can't prove he owes you money in court to sue him, then he could sue you for saying he owes you money.
But to be honest a ex pro player, may even like his name in some scandal sheets, often it is said there is no bad press
I'm not sure if I'm replying in the correct 'threaded way'. However, he's been out of the football game for over 21 yrs. The one thing I know about him is he does not want his name in the paper in any negative way. To those who meet him he is a very charming, outgoing person and extremely hard working. Yes he's very proud of his football accomplishments & has worked hard to get into 2 Halls of Fame, however, I now believe he is also very good con artist. I have tried to see if he has done this to other women or if I was just lucky (believe me I am being sarcastic).
I have no desire to drag his name in the dirt, but I would not mind shaking his cage a bit and perhaps making him nervous that I might in fact go to an on line blog or something on sports and comment about him. He could never prove I was a shallow person, just a very trusting person when I should have been more alert.
No matter what if I let it go, he wins and I worked darn hard for that money (yes I should have been more careful), but sometimes we make mistakes of the heart that heart the bank account. I plan to pursue this and maybe one day, if nothing else I will get the opportunity to slap him in the face.
The issue that the other are bringing up is that you can't prove that he owes you anything. There is no signed documentation, he hasn't admitted it in any way that you can present in a court, and the payments in your account can be explained away by your relationship. Trust me on this... if you can't afford to lose this money you say that he owes you, you definitely can't afford to lose the money that he would win in a harassment or slander lawsuit.
This situation is a little different. He is a public figure, and if you can't back up your claims, he can definitely say that you have damaged his reputation if you go public. Showing up at his job is simply harassment. If you post the situation to a blog, or show up at his job talking about it, he will have all the proof he needs to collect additional money from you. My advice is to see a local attorney, who can give you an unbiased opinion of your chance of collecting in a lawsuit with the evidence you have available, and then deal with whatever the outcome is, including letting it go if you can't collect from him in court. This is a very expensive lesson to learn, but if you slander him, it will cost you far more.
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