How do I get him?

kristynn · Jun 24, 2007, 06:56 PM

Originally Posted by huno

I mentioned it casually... I wasn't grabbing her arm and thrusting her into the car to drive up and meet them, I simply talked about one day going. She probably took it more seriously than I did. In retrospect, probably wasn't a good idea to mention it at all. :)

Yup, I think that just mentioning that was enough to freak her out if she wasn't that serious about the whole thing.

On the other side, it could very well be a good sign. :)

huno · Jun 24, 2007, 08:26 PM

Originally Posted by kristynn

huno,

I totally agree with you on what you disagree. I edited my post and added "MIGHT BE" which was what I initially meant! *;) Couldn't rate your answer though...

Oh, I get it. Make huno look stupid so you get all the credit for helping poor lil' stargazer.

Need I remind everyone that you were the one giving advice to other people on HER thread? And that she hates that and has sworn unholy revenge on your soul today and in the afterlife? :cool:

By the way, I looooooooooooooove Spanish :p

De veras? Good information to have, señorita. :)

stargazer10 · Jun 24, 2007, 08:31 PM

Ha! Wow you guys have really taken this far. Just Kidding.

Anyway, I don't mind the conversation, it actually does pertain to my problem anyway.

I normally go for preppy guys from middle class families who listen to pop and rock and all that jazz... and they are usually white.

Divinci is a black guy, struggling financially a little bit, listens to rap (I hate rap)... is overly talkative (I like shy guys), dresses way different than most (that I didn't see until later though because I usually saw him in his work uniform)... BUT I ABSOLUTELY AM CRUSHING ON HIM!

kristynn · Jun 24, 2007, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by stargazer10

Divinci is a black guy, struggling financially a little bit, listens to rap (i hate rap)... is overly talkative (i like shy guys), dresses way different than most (that i didn't see until later though because I usually saw him in his work uniform)... BUT I ABSOLUTELY AM CRUSHING ON HIM!

Either way, WHAT makes you "crush" on him THAT much?? (Question to ask yourself)

huno · Jun 24, 2007, 08:42 PM

Hmm... so what is it you like about him? Is it those things you mentioned?

I've always wondered about the "opposites attract" theory... I personally don't believe too much in it. Sometimes I do fall in that trap, though...

kristynn · Jun 24, 2007, 08:45 PM

Originally Posted by huno

I've always wondered about the "opposites attract" theory... I personally don't believe too much in it. Sometimes I do fall in that trap, though...

Trap? Why call it a "trap"?

I believe opposites attract sometimes, but I think they rarely stick together.

huno · Jun 24, 2007, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by kristynn

Trap? Why call it a "trap"?

I believe opposites attract sometimes, but I think they rarely stick together.

Well that's kind of what I mean. Because there's usually a time when I look at some girl and say, "Why the hell did THAT turn me on?" Some traits start to grate on my nerves, I realize that, logistically, it just isn't going anywhere because a lot of things just get to me.

Take flirty girls, for example. It's the flirtiness that gets me going... until I see her flirty with lots of other guys. Therein, kristynn, lies the trap. :)

Now I'm not saying stargazer's doomed to experience disillusionment with her newfound man pet, but if he really is the opposite of what she's normally attracted to, it's kind of a trap.

mileyrocks0 · Jun 24, 2007, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by stargazer10

I like this guy at work and I want to hang out with him outside of work (maybe even as a date), but I really don't want to wait around for him to ask me because he may never do it. Here's the thing though. I don't know if he is single or taken. How do I go about asking it without it looking like I'm trying to figure out if I can have him? And if he doesn't have a gf, how do I ask him out? I am not used to the whole girl asking guy out thing, I usually wait for the guy to ask me, but I feel like I lose so many opportunities by waiting and want to just come right out and ask a guy out. I'm really shy so this isn't easy for me and I have no idea what to do.

You Should just try to become friends with him and ask him to tell you about his girlfriend so if he doesn't have one your free to ask him out don't be embarrassed.

stargazer10 · Jun 25, 2007, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by kristynn

Either way, WHAT makes you "crush" on him THAT much??? (Question to ask yourself)

Well... I thought about it and I do have reasons which are good reasons so I'm guessing that means that it's okay to be crushing on him.

huno · Jun 25, 2007, 12:24 PM

Originally Posted by stargazer10

well... i thought about it and i do have reasons which are good reasons so I'm guessing that means that it's okay to be crushing on him.

Such as? :)

stargazer10 · Jun 25, 2007, 01:29 PM

Hmm... well I'd like to keep them to myself because by listing them I feel like I'm trying to defend myself and that doesn't need to be done...

But since you asked I will say that he is just an amazing guy: nice, makes me laugh, has a sense of humour, is not afraid to apologize when he goes a little overboard with the risqué jokes, and is very understanding of pretty much everything.

PRETTY MUCH his personality is EXACTLY what I was looking for. The OUTWARD appearance is the only thing that isn't my type... but then again the guys that fit the outward appearance of "my type" never fit the personality aspect... so...

stargazer10 · Jun 25, 2007, 01:30 PM

And of course the personality is the most important

gjohnson1 · Jun 25, 2007, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by stargazer10

I like this guy at work and I want to hang out with him outside of work (maybe even as a date), but I really don't want to wait around for him to ask me because he may never do it. Here's the thing though. I don't know if he is single or taken. How do I go about asking it without it looking like I'm trying to figure out if I can have him? And if he doesn't have a gf, how do I ask him out? I am not used to the whole girl asking guy out thing, I usually wait for the guy to ask me, but I feel like I lose so many opportunities by waiting and want to just come right out and ask a guy out. I'm really shy so this isn't easy for me and I have no idea what to do.

Just ask him if he has a girl friend, what do you have to loose? Nothing

huno · Jun 25, 2007, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by stargazer10

hmm... well i'd like to keep them to myself because by listing them i feel like i'm trying to defend myself and that doesn't need to be done...

but since you asked i will say that he is just an amazing guy: nice, makes me laugh, has a sense of humour, is not afraid to apologize when he goes a little overboard with the risque jokes, and is very understanding of pretty much everything.

PRETTY MUCH his personality is EXACTLY what I was looking for. The OUTWARD appearance is the only thing that isn't my type.... but then again the guys that fit the outward appearance of "my type" never fit the personality aspect.... so ....

Oh, well I totally didn't mean it like that. I know I said the "opposites attract" thing doesn't work, but I should qualify that by saying I believe it doesn't work. That doesn't make it fact (kind of like how mankind once thought the sun revolved around the Earth). :)

Anyway, it does make sense that a guy who makes you laugh is attractive. A lot of girls say that. That's why I try to crack a joke whenever I get a shot. Sometimes it flies, sometimes it crashes and burns. But I find it hits more than it misses.

Anyway, if he makes you happy and so long as he treats you right, there's nothing wrong with anything. Good luck!

stargazer10 · Jun 25, 2007, 07:55 PM

Thanks huno!

kristynn · Jul 2, 2007, 02:42 PM

How is it going, stargazer?

Hope everything's good. :)

stargazer10 · Jul 3, 2007, 07:08 PM

Everything is going great, but it's really hard keeping the whole thing a secret. We told a select few about it (actually those few people figured it out). But, anyway, it is so difficult to see each other... it's ridiculous. We both are always at work (and usually not at the same time). And then there's the whole problem with my parents. I can't just tell them that I am going out with a 25 year old guy. They would freak out.

kristynn · Jul 3, 2007, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by stargazer10

Everything is going great, but it's really hard keeping the whole thing a secret. We told a select few about it (actually those few people figured it out). But, anyway, it is so difficult to see each other... it's ridiculous. We both are always at work (and usually not at the same time). And then there's the whole problem with my parents. I can't just tell them that I am going out with a 25 year old guy. They would freak out.

Yup, I guess they WILL freak out, but they'll also realize that their little girl is getting older now and they should at least try to understand. I'm not saying it's going to be easy for them to understand and accept it, but they will have to.
You'll find a way to make them understand...
Take care!

huno · Jul 3, 2007, 10:33 PM

Ah, I see... stargazer finds a new slice of man heaven to romp in and she forgets all about us?

To hell with her, I'm not helping.

...

...

...

...

What? I said I'm not helping her.

...

...

...

...

Don't look at me like that, I'm not the one being mean--she is!

...

...

...

...

Oh, crap, I can't stay mad at her. It's like trying to stay mad at your dog... you just know he's going to pout and then your heart melts and all is forgiven. I can already hear stargazer pouting... :D

Originally Posted by stargazer10

I can't just tell them that I am going out with a 25 year old guy. They would freak out.

This might be really against people's principles or whatever, but if this guy is really great and you like him so much, why even tell them? Can you just say you're going out with your friends or something?

If you don't feel comfortable outright lying to them, then don't.

Incidentally, does he ever go to see you at work when it's not his shift?

Mom of 2 · Jul 4, 2007, 01:17 AM

I am kind of confused as to the last post. What is with all of the drama, huno? I don't think that she was ignoring us.

I have to agree with you on one point. If this guy is really as great as you say he is, why hide him? I understand the work thing, as bosses can get very uptight if they think that any relationship issues will effect their business. I can also see your point with your parents. Even though you are an adult, there are still things that you have to do in order to avoid unnecessary drama. If you are trying to keep the peace, make sure that you are not shortchanging your own feelings (as long as they are your true feelings)

You made a statement earlier that this is the kind of guy that you normally would not select before. Why are you selecting it now? Are you going through a rebellious phase? Or do you REALLY like this guy? A lot to think about.