[shatteredsoul]

I swear I live on Wysteria Lane. I have the worst neighbors ever. They are nosy, rude, obnoxious and mean. I hate it. Yet I have to be nice because otherwise it would be WW3 around here. I have turned a blind eye for months, trying to ignore rude comments, all the lies and the jealousy. I have been the bigger person because I am too busy to be bothered by such nonsense. WEll these same neighbors who have the audacity to leave my daughter out when the whole neighborhood is on their trampoline, to leave their daughter over my house all day, while they don't even speak to me or my daughter. It is the most screwed up thing. I want to tell her to go home, but it isn't her fault I feel I am being manipulated and I hate that!! I want to scream right now, because I can't confront her mom, she is a true nutcase! I am not trying to be rude, she just really is off her rocker. What do I do??

[Fr_Chuck]

Not allow her to leave her daughter at your house, send child home, stand up for your child. You get walked over because you allow yourself to be.

[shatteredsoul]

Yes, I get that. I do understand your point. Although when 3 other children in the neighborhood are playing and she is out front by herself wanting to play, my children know not to leave anyone out, even if someone does it to them. I guess I don't want to be taken advantage of in one way, but I don't want to be like the girl's mom who is evil to her daughter. Her daughter isn't to blame. I just let her play even though I know it isn't really fair that she is here. It is a tough place to be, I always include every kid in the neighborhood, I couldn't leave one out because her mom is a jerk. I just hate all the things her mom has done in the past. There is so much more to this, I could go on and on, but I won't. Lets just say I have other neighbors like her, they like to spy on us, when we come and go. They make up lies. I just ignore it. I just don't want to make the kid feel bad. But yes in a way, you are right.

[Marily]

You should be careful with whom your child is being friends to. As for your neighbours, the best thing I can think of is to ignore them, if you give them attention will only give them a boost to be even more nasty to you.

[shatteredsoul]

That is so true, I do need to be careful. I do keep to myself and just ignore all of them, but when their daughter comes over because she sees other kids over, I let her play so I don't make her feel bad. How do I not let her over and not create more drama with the parents? I know they are taking advantage by having her come to my house. I don't even speak to them and I haven't for months since they were rude to my daughter. I have even caught the mom staring at my daughter from her window when my kids are out front playing. She freaks me out! I used to have her daughter over all the time, took her everywhere, sleepovers, mall, beach, movies. I stopped doing all that. Now because its summer and she doesn't send her kids to camp or anything, she thinks she can pawn her off on me. Well I had a bunch of kids over swimming and she comes knocking on the door. I didn't want to let her in, but I felt I had to. Its not the kids fault and then I am being mean to a child, right? I don't know. Its frustrating.

[Marily]

If this has a negative influence on your daughter you should not let her come over anymore, otherwise just keep an eye over them

[startover22]

Shattered, do I need to kick some booty for you. I am on my waaaayyyyy!! How is the situation now? Any better?

[shatteredsoul]

I just put an imaginary bubble around me every time I go outside. I act like they aren't even there. It is hard when I hear the crap they make up and how rude they are, but that is their problem, not mine. I can't stand ignorant people, that are nasty!! My mother taught me way better than that. THAS WASSUP!!

[startover22]

Good job. Poor girl with a no good pair of parents. Not fair to her at all. It sure is hard to hold your ground in this kind of situation. I am a push over in some aspects, this would be a hard one for me. Good day today!

[shatteredsoul]

You have no idea about how awful she has it. I do feel sorry for her . But I can't continue to let her around with the way the parents act. It is sad. Yes, I would love for someone to come kick her mom's butt. She screams and curses at me in the street and makes up lies. I have another neighbor who spies on us constantly. It is aggravating!!

[startover22]

So are you moving to Oregon, you favorite twin lives there...

[shatteredsoul]

ARE THERE NUTTY NEIGHBORS THERE THAT SPY ON YOU AND MAKE UP LIES?? IF not, I am seriously checking it out. It is scary to move somewhere I know no one, but I do have my WONDERTWIN!! You might get sick of me though, I could end up on your street!! WHat do houses run there?

[startover22]

By the time you are ready to move we should be in the "big" house with the pool, we could drain that sucker and put a top on it, you would have an instant house...

[shatteredsoul]

OK now don't get me going... Oh I didn't see where Dus posted anything. Did Davey have a good time at camp? I like your thinking on this. My husband wants to get a big middle finger and flip everyone off as we are leaving, lol.

[startover22]

Ok, you tell him to meet me, he might just like me. I am kind of cute, as long as he likes a cold beer and some football him and my hubby would get along fine. Actually they would get along great. I will never stop pushing, the schools are great here and the scenery even better, the kids love it, not too cold not too hot and we camp all the time.

And then we could say screw it and throw the laundry machines out the window and meet at the laundro mat just for the low cost and good company excuse!

One more thing, we have a huge hauling trailer that would definitely fit your whole house into it so we could take a vacation to Florida and move you...

[ton_ty2275]

You have no idea about how awful she has it. I do feel sorry for her . But I can't continue to let her around with the way the parents act. It is sad. Yes, I would love for someone to come kick her mom's butt. She screams and curses at me in the street and makes up lies. I have another neighbor who spies on us constantly. It is aggravating!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi there,

I am sure my comments would be considered as a last resort---
Yet, have you thought of moving?

Your story reminds me of a personal story of mine about 10 years ago, when I first had my oldest son. The neighbors were mean. No matter how neighborly my family was to them they would get worse. I only found solice when I moved. I had dealt with the problems for 3 long years.

I personally realized that when one is blessed with great neighbors---think twice about moving, because next time you never know what you are going to get!

I know this is not the best philosohy, but it can sometimes be more difficult to deal with or try to change some situations.

When I found another home, I had great neighbors--and I had researched the neighborhood prior to moving in. I actually stayed there for 8 years! Most of the neighbors were "lifers" in the area, so my life became much more peaceful when I finally moved.

If this is not an option for you, I would suggest standing your ground on your personal morals and values for your family as was stated earlier by another member. If you have to seek legal help do so.

You and your family should not be subjected to this type of consistent harassment. I am sure that you don't want these negative experiences as "lasting memories" for your family.
Therefore, some type of "action" needs to take place, ASAP. Perhaps moving or handling the matter judicially.

I hope something I have stated here can help.

Sincerely, Tomy M. Hall, MS

[shatteredsoul]

Thanks for your advice Tomy! Actually Our house is for sale right now. Yes it isn't good at all for my kids to be around this, or us. WE don't want to get sucked into their drama and feed into it. YEs, Wondertwin, I will consider it. Why not? I just have to get my husband on board. He loves cold beer and football, I love football too. Any mention of throwing away washers is fine with me!! The laundromat gets it done all at the same time! Been there and done that when I am behind. I am airing all my dirty laundry on here, haa haa. I think the people across the street have enjoyed making our lives miserable. I tried to be nice for a while. I finally went OFF on one of them who lied and said I flipped her off and I was going to kick someone's a$$ on the street. I was talking to the school resource officer about having a bully workshop for the kids at school and this is what my neighbor translated that to!! I told her she is a liar and she has no idea what she is talking about. I f I wanted to flip her off I would do it to her face. I told her to ask the school cop what I said. SHe did and then found out she was wrong. She never apologized. The other one across the street went looney on me a couple times after the kids were outside playing and the mom thought my daughter did something to hers and started screaming at her. WHAT A NUT!! When the lady found out her brother died, I tried to be nice and get a card. I saw her outside and asked how she was doing and she completely flipped out on me and started cursing at me in front of the kids to leave her the f**k alone and stay out of her life. Yeah she is a quack. I did. I left her alone all right. Then her kid started showing up over here. I let them play outside with the other kids, but I don't want that kid here. I smile and always say hello to the kids. I am the one who always has everyone over, not anyone else. They keep their houses perfect that way. Yet, I am not going to allow me or my kids to be used or taken advantage of. I also don't trust them. One of them made up lies about my husband having an affair because she FOLLOWED him up to the store. ( He likes to go up to the gas station at night get a beer for him, a smirnoff for me and some scratch offs or whatever. WEll, she thinks he must be meeting someone for going each night. What a nutcase. Believe me. We don't buy a lot of alcohol and leave it in the house because we don't want the kids to see it. So after they are in bed, its our time to relax, you know?? They conjure up that he must be having an affair. Now if he really was and someone told me, that would be different. This woman is a pathalogical liar. I cannot stand her. Now I just act like I don't see ANY OF THEM. They all stand outside and talk about us, its very comical. YEs, it could be a TV show I am sure.

[mango7777]

Wow.. what a horrible place to be. It's not like you can pick up and leave, Wysteria lane sounds beautiful. Although your heart and gesture is in an obvious kind place, wanting to have the kids play, you are allowing your guilt be your guide. My experience has shown this to be true for me.

As you said, the crazy lady cannot be dealt with on a civil note nor does she place your best interest at heart, is not capable of it. She sees she has a "free babysitter" at hand, and as long as you don't say anything, do you think she is going to let this "free ride" end? I don't think so. She is coming from a totally different view point and outlook on life than you. You are wonderfully giving and kind (obviously) she IS NOT. She won't change no matter how and what you say.. it is her M.O. /pattern, from what you have said.

Its not the child, of course you have said so, it's the mom and the "abusive behavior" towards YOU. It's your choice of course, but you do not have to accept Unacceptable behavior from her or anyone else. This is YOUR right as a human being. She is not your problem to try to "fix" her daughters summer activities. I know is sounds hard, but as long as you continue to let the child into your home, you are telling the crazy lady, (by your actions) that what she is doing is OK.

Remember, she's looney (or whatever she may be with a lot of unfinished issues whatever) and what might sound normal and true to you and the rest of the world, is not even in her code of ethics.

You and your family, health and safety comes first! No matter what. I support you and pray for wisdom, strength and courage. You are loved by those who know you Braveheart!

[shatteredsoul]

Wow, thanks Mango, very inspiring words. How kind you are. YOu are right, I have not allowed her to come over, I do it inconspicuously, not obvious. Yes, I cannot allow people to walk on me. I have a habit of doing that. I am learning and I am slowly getting better. I try to avoid all the crazy neighbors and keep my kids otherwise occupied. It is working so far. I wish there were people like you and start around here, it is truly a crazy block. I am lucky I have good friends in other places. You are also right about the guilt thing. I cannot use guilt as my guide. I don't get my daughter ice cream and not the other kids if the ice cream truck goes by, I would feel bad leaving someone out. So now, I just don't get it at all and I buy it for them later. This way, I don't get used and no one's feelings get hurt. NOt that anyone would buy it for my kids, it is just who I am. She has a strange and twisted code of ethics and has been trying to talk to my husband and be nice. She said she didn't think we had any problems and he said, we don't, my wife just prefers to keep to herself. She was thinking maybe we would talk again, NOT!! I just STAY AWAY, FAR AWAY. One second she is nice, and the next one she is a raving lunatic. No thanks!! I can handle if you have a bad day, or you are in a bad mood, but her mood swings and anger issues are abusive. Thank you for such valuable advice, I will try to be BRAVE and take it to HEART. I don't know that I am a BRAVEHEART, but thanks for the vote confidence!! I am glad I am back, I missed you people!!

[startover22]

[QUOTE=shatteredsoul]Wow, thanks Mango, very inspiring words. How kind you are. YOu are right, I will try to be BRAVE and take it to HEART. I don't know that I am a BRAVEHEART, but thanks for the vote confidence!!

Just to let you know, Mango is our great friend shattered, you can't go wrong with her. She is going to move here and so are you, then we will be the coolest chicks in Oregon!! I do have a bumper sticker that says that you know... I just never stuck it to my car it is hanging in my room so my Husband is reminded of how good he has it!! LOLOLOL I am crackin myself up again. My house is a mess. Too bad for the kid, the mom is a poo p!