[shatteredsoul]

I didn't mean to assume that he would have attacked you, it just felt like he was definitely crossing some boundaries and that is surely an uncomfortable situation to be in. I can't believe this family has it out for you so bad and the so many people have an interest in being so cruel. Well actually I can believe it, but I didn't used to think people are intentionally mean like that but they are. THat really sucks.HOw do you put up with all the gossip and the lies? They beat up your mom when you were young? That is just awful. Did she ever do anything about it? I can't believe such abusive behavior. It is true to not carry resentment, because it only hurts the one holding the grudge but sometimes its hard not to be angry and baffled by their actions. I hope other than that mess with your uncle, you enjoyed some of your trip. It sounds like a peaceful place at least.
How is everything else with you and your family? DO you have neighbors that are your friends? Do you stay away from all of those toxic people or are they always in your life? Ok Sorry I am asking so many questions. Every day I realize that whatever I am going through, somebody else has worse! Good to hear from you my friend, now continue where you left off! LOL Hugs

[METERRE]

Well thanks for your support. You're right, as far as I feel it he did cross boundaries, but that was about the only bad or uncomfortable situation in the trip. Other than that, everything worked out better than I expected. Yes it is a peaceful place to be, beautiful views and sunsets.
Well I didn't mean to sound like they're after me personally, but they are after my family. The worse thing that has happened is what I mentioned about beating up my mom, and what I can't believe is that she didn't do anything about it. I don't know why, and it also makes me mad that they got away with it. They even took pictures of her after the beating and we still have them.
As it turns out, we moved to our current apartment like 6 months ago, and for exactly the same reason. The neighbors were family and friends with the people who are after us. They didn't want us there, and so we moved. Currently we have no neighbor friends, neither enemies. Sometimes maybe it's better like that.
And since we moved, we haven't heard anything else about those people but it doesn't mean they're out of our lives completely, and that sucks.
Well what happened, have any more feedback on your part? Enough about this situation, don't you think? LOL.

[shatteredsoul]

Hello there! I understand that this subject is sore with you, so it is totally fine to head in another direction. I have to keep it somewhere close to the original post about being nice to nasty people, so that it doesn't just get removed. I think you have ever right to take it personal, because it is your family that is affected. So, there is no need to justify your feelings on that!
I think it is almost better to keep to yourself. I never had any problems with anyone until I started hanging with my neighbors. At first it was cool and then it just turned into major drama. I have had my house on the market for over five months but no one is buying right now. The sad part is, I just redid my whole house . The kitchen, the pool, the floors, the roof, the AC and the walls/ pretty much everything. So right now we aren't going anywhere. I am not comfortable with having two mortgages so we will wait until the market changes. South Florida really boomed and now it is at a standstill. Houses on my block used to sell in a matter of DAYS! It is a little frustrating. Although I don't know where we would go. I like NOrth Carolina but my husband is now thinking that he can make more money with his business here, for the next year or so. That means staying in my neighborhood. I still just keep to myself and everyone else leaves me alone. I see them stare and say things to each other, but don't pay it any mind! ( Like my buddy Canada told me) I am getting tougher as time goes by. I don't really give a sh!t what they think of me. I know part of it was because one neighbor thought I should hang out with her and she didn't like my other friend. OH well. Now my other friend moved away, and the neighbor told my husband, "I don't know why your wife doesn't talk to me anymore" He just told her that it was easier by me keeping to myself, rather than tell her she is a psychotic b!tch. YOu know what I mean. She is the one that screams and goes crazy over nothing. I know she has a problem with drinking and pills, which is really none of my business. I don't go around telling the other neighbors that. I guess she has major mood swings but that doesn't mean I have to put up with that. I tried being nice to everyone and it got me nowhere. So, now the silent treatment works better for me. Well enough of me, now back to you. What else is going on in your life? I am wondering how old you are, I am thinking maybe in your twenties? I am in my early thirties, although I can't believe it every time I say that! At least I can still party with the best of them. LOL Well hope you are having a great day so far. I cannot wait until the weekend myself! Peace out

[METERRE]

Hello back. The topic of my own family problems was indeed getting to me. I support that keeping to oneself is a good way to prevent ongoing trouble. Especially in your situation. Not sure if you really would like to move if the circumstances were different, but I find it sort of disturbing if you don't. The situation must not be good for your kids nor for you. Besides, I'm thinking that you could actually be enjoying the company of non-lunatic neighbors. I understand you though, selling a house isn't a piece of cake, and sometimes you're forced to do what you don't want to given the circumstances.
What I'd hope for you is that someday, hopefully soon, you'll be out of there for good. You're doing good though, by having nothing to do with them, because sometimes it's just much better to be alone than with bad company, right? As for me, my whole life I've had to keep to myself many times. I admit though that most of those times is because I like to or want to, but sometimes I'm also forced to.
However when I am keeping to myself, I try to enjoy myself as much as I can. Let me tell you, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. LOL.
Well in my life not much is really going on. You can say it's not too amusing. Actually in part I'm trying to bring myself more out of the crisis I was facing, which lasted for like 5 years or so. I can say there's been progress, but there's always pitfalls and I'm still far from my goal.
Me too I urge for the weekend to come, and hope something fun will come up.
I wish you a very good day and weekend too. Thanks for listening.

P.S. Can you believe I'm 20? I still can't! I don't know if to feel old or young now.

[shatteredsoul]

Whatsup girl? I was glad you wrote back. I am wondering what you have been dealing with for the last five years. Does this include the family and friend drama? I was just curious, so if you want to share, I would love to listen. I can't believe I am not in my twenties anymore! It is kind of depressing but I still feel the same. Well you are just at the beginning and I think it gets better. Just the number is annoying, but everything else is cool.
Do you ever feel lonely without having people in your life? I even have trouble staying away from toxic and negative people because of my great need for social interaction. Not that I don't have good friends, because I really do. IT has just been hard for me to get over life long friendships that are difficult and hurtful. I am such a sap. I can also be very confrontational when I feel attacked or accused of something. These are my downfalls. I am trying to get better. I have considered therapy but so far I have never been. I am still working on that.
You are right, it would be the BEST thing to get out of my neighborhood and hopefully someday I will be in a better place. It is annoying to feel such animoscity when I am usually the one trying to keep the peace. You can't make other people change so I have definitely adjusted my own responses.
I can tell that for your age you have a lot of maturity and wise insight, I am guessing you have had your share of difficult times that have given you such clarity and understanding of things. Most people at 20 are very self absorbed and unaware of dynamics between people. I was always ultra aware of everything, since I was little. I have been the one who can read a situation or person and figure out what is going on underneath. IT doesn't help that I am ultra sensitive as well. I can feel people's feelings and sometimes it is overwhelming. At least on this site, I try to be of a comfort or help to those that are feeling terrible. IT helps me too.
I was also wondering, what are you goals or aspirations for your future. What is it that you love to do? Has there been anything that has gotten in the way of that? How do you feel about your situation now?
Well I don't want to seem nosy but I don't want this to be all about me. I like to hear about other people too. I wish I knew how to change my picture I am so out of the loop! I swear my daughter knows more about computers than me. Not very impressive of me!
I am so friggin glad it is Friday. I am going with my friend to the mall for a pedicure and then I am going out tonight to hang with some friends and have some drinks. Yeah me! I need it too. So what are you up to for this weekend? Anything fun and exciting. It is three days off for me. OK I will be back!
Happy FRIDAY!
P.S. YOu are young silly, 20 is just beginning.

[startover22]

Shattered go to your profile and to Edit Photo and then do your thing... tell me if it doesn't work and I will have Grady get on here and tell you step by step... I miss you. Start

[METERRE]

Shatteredsoul, you're only as old as you feel. Or as young as you feel, or something like that. But it's true. So don't let yourself get depressed over some number, nor by a wrinkle or whatever comes with the years.
Well, to be really honest, it isn't only the last five years that have bothered me, it's practically my whole life. Believable or not, since I was in my mother's tummy I was already going through hard times. And it just kept going and going, but it basically exploded those five years ago. Everything was piled up, and that caused me to go into a deep depression, one of those in which you just think of killing yourself. But being inclined to talk to God, I never made any attempt, because he gave me hope. Ever since being a little girl, I felt that God was there with me. That even though I was suffering, he still was there for me in a way or another.
Yes many times I doubted because things kept happening to me, so I was asking myself why he would let that happen to me. But I learned that things happen for a reason.
In difference to you, for most I feel actually a very immature person, then sometimes I feel mature. But I can definitely say I have gone through things I really wish I hadn't.
And I really appreciate that you like to help people feel better... so do I a lot of times am inclined to wanting to make people feel good or have a soft place or something. Perhaps it's because I myself don't quite have that soft place to land... there can be millions of people around me, yet I can feel in the middle of nowhere, all alone. Of course that doesn't happen all the time, if not, imagine what would've happened to me already.
But well anyway, as I mentioned before, I am beginning to get out of the midst of those five gloomy years I passed. So I feel better, things look a bit more clear, not yet enough though. And yes there's something that has kept me from my goals and it's been exactly those five years of gloom.
Anyway I love to do many things, yet I don't know if I'll ever get to one of those goals. I hope to. You know what, it's funny you should mention your daughter knows more about computers. Because it's logical that kids today are very good at technology, being that they're born exposed to it a lot. In school now you almost can't do things right unless you have a computer. But it's not only technology to which I think kids are very exposed to, there's many other things that maybe they shouldn't be dealing with in their age. So they end up being mature for their age. In general today's kids know a lot more than what they should or at least what today's adults wouldn't have known.
Ok so I hope I didn't sound confusing or anything like that. I'm also very excited the weekend is coming, but I don't have plans yet. I'll be waiting for something fun to come up. Have a GREAT weekend!

[SgtTurnkey26]

Dear Shattered,
Does ignoring them REALLY work? We have nasty neighbors who constantly harass us. The Cops say ignore them. Our Landlord says ignore them. My wife's parents say ignore them. We have been trying to ignore them for three months now and it's not working, they are still harassing us. How long did you have to ignore your bad neighbors before they stopped treating you badly?

[shatteredsoul]

Sometimes ignoring them really does work but yet I don't take kindly to getting harassed either. I would have to say I draw the line at any physical attack or any verbal attack. I don't know how you are being bothered by your neighbors but I would consider moving if I were you. 3 months is a long time to deal with people bothering you. I exploded on two of my neighbors when I felt like I was getting backed into a corner, needless to say, they haven't bothered me since. Have you spoken your mind and let them know you aren't going to be bullied? I ignore people who are idiots but if they are more abusive in some way, it will not just stop by ignoring them. YOU must address the problem if not directly, with the police there so you can file a report. YOU cannot allow yourselves to uncomfortable in your own home.

I don't think my tolerance level is as high as yours so I don't always have the proper response to these kind of situations. I get angry when I am attacked. I don't know why but I do. Sometimes I am calm and other times I am like a steam roller. I hope your situation improves. Do not allow yourself to be pushed into a corner, you don't deserve that kind of treatment from anyone.

[METERRE]

What I'd say would be that there are different situations, along with different people. Sometimes what works with some people doesn't work with others, so in that case, ignoring harrasers might work for some but not for others. Also like shattered said, there is definitely a line. When you feel like you are really being bullied you should speak up, speak your mind perhaps. And let them know you're not up for that, and that you are not just going to run away from the problem without giving a fight for your rights to live in peace where you choose to. By the way Hi Shattered!

[shatteredsoul]

Meterre-----Hello there and yes, you are absolutely correct!! Every situation and each person must be handled differently, especially when you are dealing with ignorant, ill mannered people, who may or may not be mature enough to hear what you are saying. By definition, a nasty person most likely will ignore anything other than what they believe or see to be true. They most likely feel justified in STEAM ROLLING over people and then get either defensive or angry when called on it. That doesn't mean it should go unnoticed or unchecked. People should be accountable for their behavior and their actions, although some battles are not worth the fight. IN the end, usually KARMA comes around and kicks them in the for their nasty ways.. and we don't always have to respond, retaliate or get even.
I have found that the most difficult people will be somewhat disarmed when you treat them kindly, and yet others continue to lash out and treat people like garbage. I have found that I am NOT responsible for always responding but making sure also that my kindness is NEVER mistaken for weakness.
I do not need to fight, but I will not be walked on either. Does that make sense??

Start, a steam roller I am.. sometimes

[METERRE]

Perfect sense Shattered. You sure have learned quite a bit from your own experience... although learning it sometimes hard way. I really don't know what those people who do that get from it, or want to. However it seems that they never have their fill of it. Not liking a certain person, can at times be understandable so to speak, and perhaps the reason they would do that. But a different thing is that in fact they just like doing it for no apparent reason.
Now speaking as a believer I would say that I've experienced that when you leave the problem up to God he certainly adresses it, and solves it. Without you having to get too mixed in or lowered to do the same kind of thing back at them. And it all works out just.
True though that people do need to be accountable for what they do. If kids are taught to be accountable for misbehaving more likely should a grown adult.

[janetwaddell]

My daughter has been very disrespectful towards me later. She also wants to have her boy friend in her room all night long, when I Tell her her can't stay she is more anger with me she even talks back to me more now then ever. She is 21 years old.