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lovelife · Jun 5, 2007, 12:53 PM

There comes a time in a mans life when his sexual ego is put to the test, and sadly the time has come for me. I met this great girl not long ago and the third time we saw each other we ended up in her bed. We made out for a while, then one thing led to another and it was time to do the deed, but the purple headed warrior stayed in hiding. As we got closer to having sex, I started getting hot and sweating a bit, in the meantime getting more nervous that I just wasn't getting hard. It was so embarrassing, all I wanted to do was bury myself from the world. Now this may be considered ED, however I never have a problem with attaining an erection. I can do it on the spot at almost any time. I broke up with my girlfriend 2 years ago and haven't had sex since then, could this be a contributing factor? Also, does engaging in self love have a negative impact on sex with a partner? Why did I get so hot all of a sudden and start sweating? Im only 24 years old and my manhood took a big hit, I feel so worthless. I would appreciate any suggestions or advice.

fix-what-you-broke · Jun 5, 2007, 01:18 PM

OK, I'm a woman so I'm no expert in mens bits. So bear with me...
Guys lose their erection sometimes, I don't know about other girls, but for me, its OK, its no big deal, it happens.
If it happens with my man, we will laugh about it, I will probably say something stupid to put him at ease... or, we will give up and do something else as its obvious he's tired or whatever.
I'm trying to say its no big deal, men isn't robots, you can't preform at will (now there's a thought.. )... dont worry too much about it.
In your case its probably the fact that you have not had sex for so long, and you may be a little nervous to be sleeping with somebody else, I mean if you think about it, its not your ex you are sleeping with, maybe that's there somewhere in the back of your mind, that you have to get used to someone new?. I know after I left my ex I was nervous as hell because I didn't know what my new partner liked/didnt like/would he like it if I did this... you know how it is.
And for the final part of your post, no masturbation does not have a negative impact on your sex life... especially if you do it together... seriously, it won't harm any sexlife you have at all... the only harm it would cause is if you start to put masterbating before actual sex... good luck bud.

kirriky · Jun 5, 2007, 02:10 PM

I'd say it was because you hadn't had sex for so long, and the last time you did was with your girlfriend. You probably were too nervous. Happened to a friend of mine (after 2 years of abstinence and intense self-love, did get it up with a new girl, but never came that night)

If and when you two get back together, take it slowly, maybe don't try to have sex the first day (try an impossibly forbidding setting, if such exist at all).

nicname · Jun 5, 2007, 06:30 PM

Man I used to have the same problem, and it sucked,

No worries your peter works just fine, it is only because of the nerves...

Xrayman · Jun 5, 2007, 07:48 PM

Typical situation-sooner or later it happens to just about all men.

You were nervous about the non-erection situation and guess what-it didn't happen-it will function properly once you get over your nerves and the expectation to perform.

MummaCrash · Jun 6, 2007, 12:08 AM

Were you drinking? Sometimes drinking can contribute to that problem.
But surely it was just nerves and I don't think it will happen to you all the time.

lovelife · Jun 6, 2007, 09:10 AM

Thanks everyone for all your constructive support. I was with the girl last night and everything went smooth, the guy down south is back in action!

MummaCrash · Jun 6, 2007, 09:14 AM

Good to hear! *thumbs up* :)

bumblebee1 · Jun 8, 2007, 10:01 AM

Sounds like my first time with my current boyfriend. It was his first time, and I remember being hurt and crying because the first 3 times we tried to have sex he kept going limp. I thought there was something wrong with me. I actually was so hurt that it made him feel really bad. Well, after a successful first time there weren't any problems after that. I know now that it wasn't me, or his fault it was just the nervousness plus all the built up frustration of wanting sex for so long... we were long distance the first 8 months of our relationship. I don't know about everyone, but I know my boyfriend and when he's nervous or stressed or tired, sex isn't happening.