[Makaveli_The_Don87]

Hi il get straight to the point.im a 19 year old lad and I'm pretty much on a downer most of the time.my mums always naggin me to get a job ( I have one but I only work when there is work on, and that's at most 2 to 3 times a week) , the thing is I want to get a better job but its like I really can't be bothered to search for a new one, I have no motivation to do anything.plus I hate starting work at new places because I'm a shy person.also I have no direction in life ,most of my mates are driving and have good jobs , and then there's me ,I haven't got anything going for me , and I get so depressed , plus I have to leave home in 1 week , and none of my family live near me.I haven't got anywhere else to go and I haven't got any money either since I haven't had any work for 2 weeks.iv got no idea what to do now,any ideas?

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, get out in the morning and start looking for a job, it is just a matter of doing it,

[shatteredsoul]

I hear you, I have a sister who was that way. She still is that way and she is going on 31. There is no positive place to go with that perspective or way of living. You have become consumed by your emotions and allowed your thoughts to take over your practical life. Your ability to relate to others and their experience is limited. YOu have no awarenes of anyone else's pain, other than yourself. This self indulged, negative, perspective is holding you back from real relationships, any spiritual growth, or awareness of your real potential or gifts. You have created your reality with your limited, immature thinking. You have become lazy, arrogant, and dispondant. You seem to want intimate relationships, but have no real interest in expending any of your own energy to really engage with someone. You will continue to feed off your family and friends emotionally, financially, spiritually and otherwize. If you continue to see no higher version of yourself, the life you lead will continue into a downward spiral of depression and suicidal thoughts. I am not saying this to be mean, but to be a wake up call to what your future could be if you don't wake up to this greater existence other than yourself. YOu are part of something so much larger than you can imagine. YOur thoughts create your reality in this existence. You have the ability to change and redirect your future right now. All you have to do is learn from someone else's struggle and try to gain insight and perspective in your own. See what's within that makes you feel and think and grow. You journey in life is to connect with people and create relationships and experience all the joys, sorrows and beauty of what is around you. Take comfort in knowing you are not all that exists and you are part of something beautiful. Begin to see yourself as loving, and helpful and aware of other people and their perspectives. Believe in the goodness and abilities within you and know that you can change this destructive belief system you have created. YOu have let your ego take over and your thoughts run over your emotions. YOu don't have an outlet or way of expressing yourself. Take a hold of your life and create it differently. Do little things each day to move toward a better and more purposeful life. There is much to be thankful for, look outside at nature and see all of its wonder and beauty, a true gift. Take time to notice the souls of people rather than their way of life or differences in opinions. Be more hopeful and positive and talk yourself into believing that way until you do. If you can become the master of your mind and spirit is up to you...

[Kattalover]

Well, what's your highest level of education so far? What subjects did you enjoy or excel in at school? Do you have any hobbies/interests? What line of work are you in now?

I know where you're coming from, because I was in the same situation when I was your age. After many arguments with my mom, I finally worked up the courage to go to the local employment office (or one-stop career center, as they're called where I live now), where they did an aptitude test, and I took it from there. These days, you can find loads of career aptitude tests online, so Google around a bit.

Good luck!

[pollyedwards]

My best advice is to check out Personal Development for Smart People - Steve Pavlina. Mr Pavlina has a large wealth of articles and fantastic methods of helping people. He has helped me tremendously and it sounds like you may need to check out his blogs and listen to him on his site.

He reinforces the idea that each and everyone of us is capable of creating change in our lives. The idea that mind over matter really does exist and that you can't depend on anyone else but yourself. The first step is to believe in yourself and that anything you want can happen.

Just remember you have decided to live your life as it is now. So why not decide not to?

[gaia213]

I understand you do not wish to move on


But no thing shall fall down to you from the heavens


Such is life including that there is a fact from my own side that I do not believe in god


You do know it is a hard situation you may try to live at somebody although that would be a complete failure unless you move on and simpler get a job as our neutrally dear moderator said


I do not wish to harm your emotions as that is quite probable


Yet understand things will be far better if you get to work


I shall say no more for this time


I wish you succes not luck success by your own hard work as luck shall not truly help you it is a rescue for an extremely little amount of people and the chances are next to zero (around 0.0000000000000000000000000000000001 that you shall have that luck now)


So never count on anything besides yourself


That is all I have to say

[N0help4u]

Picture yourself this way in a few years from now and realize if you don't get motivated now you will still be sitting there in the same condition then as you are now. I know people in their 30's with no direction or motivation. If you don't do something now you never will and time will slip away and you will be 30 and procrastinating. I was worried my daughters would end up like this because they never had any ambition, direction or motivation. To my surprise they went back to get their GED and now they are mechanics in the Air Force and really enjoying their life.
Staying in a rut you will only end up wasting precious time moping away.

[brainnerd]

I hear ya, I have a sister who was that way. She still is that way and she is going on 31. There is no positive place to go with that perspective or way of living. You have become consumed by your emotions and allowed your thoughts to take over your practical life. Your ability to relate to others and their experience is limited. YOu have no awarenes of anyone else's pain, other than yourself. This self indulged, negative, perspective is holding you back from real relationships, any spiritual growth, or awareness of your real potential or gifts. You have created your reality with your limited, immature thinking. You have become lazy, arrogant, and dispondant. You seem to want intimate relationships, but have no real interest in expending any of your own energy to really engage with someone. You will continue to feed off your family and friends emotionally, financially, spiritually and otherwize. If you continue to see no higher version of yourself, the life you lead will continue into a downward spiral of depression and suicidal thoughts. I am not saying this to be mean, but to be a wake up call to what your future could be if you don't wake up to this greater existence other than yourself. YOu are part of something so much larger than you can imagine. YOur thoughts create your reality in this existence. You have the ability to change and redirect your future right now. All you have to do is learn from someone else's struggle and try to gain insight and perspective in your own. See what's within that makes you feel and think and grow. You journey in life is to connect with people and create relationships and experience all the joys, sorrows and beauty of what is around you. Take comfort in knowing you are not all that exists and you are part of something beautiful. Begin to see yourself as loving, and helpful and aware of other people and their perspectives. Believe in the goodness and abilities within you and know that you can change this destructive belief system you have created. YOu have let your ego take over and your thoughts run over your emotions. YOu don't have an outlet or way of expressing yourself. Take a hold of your life and create it differently. Do little things each day to move toward a better and more purposeful life. There is much to be thankful for, look outside at nature and see all of its wonder and beauty, a true gift. Take time to notice the souls of people rather than their way of life or differences in opinions. Be more hopeful and positive and talk yourself into believing that way until you do. If you can become the master of your mind and spirit is up to you...

Really self righteous , can you tell me the name of this greater existence? Or the name of the creator. How dare you call this boy arrogant, your arrogant for making a snap judgement from a paragraph of writing.

[brainnerd]

You have things going for you, your working at the moment it might not be the ideal job for you but it's a start. Try not to compare yourself to others because they don't everyone is out for themselves. Being shy is also a good thing but if you have opinions voice them don't stand for

[shatteredsoul]

Well Hello BRAINNERD.. I don't think we have met before. Interesting how in your second post, you rush to JUDGE someone yourself.
Just to respond to your attack, I will state why I posted what I said.
First, the OP discussed a few things and then specifically asked for ideas as to how to handle his/her perspective in life and how to move forward. This person mentions their general attitude or perspective in life, is one of negativity and a general downer. In addition, they have no direction and while they want a better job, they have no desire to be bothered to look for one. I may be a lot of things, and maybe I overanalyzed the paragraph and came up with a different perspective than you, but I genuinely cared about giving this person some valuable advice.

Maybe this person agrees or disagrees. However, once the question is asked about what to do, that leaves the subject open for me to respond honestly, as to what my own awareness of the problem is and how to handle it.
I don't think I should rush to make final judgment on anyone, I simply made a statement based on what I was given and offered a different and more POSITIVE perspective in which to move forward.
THAT is what the person wants to do, MOVE forward and change the negative attitude.

I don't have a specific name for any creator as I am not a particularly religious person, but I am aware of an energy that connects us all and can be used, or embraced in a positive way, or a negative way. Connecting with others, having a greater awarenss of the beauty in life and being loved, was the message I was trying to convey. BE open to that and to try and not live with such a narrow scope of the magnificence and wonder of what is upon this earth. There is much to be in awe of and to be thankful for, whether you want to call that MOTHER NATURE or what.

Further, you don't have to agree and neither does the OP, but my opinion was asked, so I gave my honest one. Your judgment upon me doesn't make your perspective any more valid than mine.

I don't think I am any more arrogant than you are and I wasn't attacking the person. I was just giving a realistic perspective on a narcissistic way of life. I have experienced it with people I love and it is tough to watch someone suffer through everything with a bad attitude.
Ultimately, we choose our reality, our perspective and our happiness.

[united we stand]

Save enough money from conventional jobs so you can move forward with feeling safe somewhere. Don't be so down on yourself. Find something you love and work towards that,then find something else.and you will see that GOD helps those who help themselves:):):):rolleyes::rolleyes:.

[Hazel1220]

Sounds like you need to work on your confidence. Start small and find something you enjoy doing and are good at. It is hard to get out of a rut and it does take work but your life will be better for trying

[refresh]

I hear ya, I have a sister who was that way. She still is that way and she is going on 31. There is no positive place to go with that perspective or way of living. You have become consumed by your emotions and allowed your thoughts to take over your practical life. Your ability to relate to others and their experience is limited. YOu have no awarenes of anyone else's pain, other than yourself. This self indulged, negative, perspective is holding you back from real relationships, any spiritual growth, or awareness of your real potential or gifts. You have created your reality with your limited, immature thinking. You have become lazy, arrogant, and dispondant. You seem to want intimate relationships, but have no real interest in expending any of your own energy to really engage with someone. You will continue to feed off your family and friends emotionally, financially, spiritually and otherwize. If you continue to see no higher version of yourself, the life you lead will continue into a downward spiral of depression and suicidal thoughts. I am not saying this to be mean, but to be a wake up call to what your future could be if you don't wake up to this greater existence other than yourself. YOu are part of something so much larger than you can imagine. YOur thoughts create your reality in this existence. You have the ability to change and redirect your future right now. All you have to do is learn from someone else's struggle and try to gain insight and perspective in your own. See what's within that makes you feel and think and grow. You journey in life is to connect with people and create relationships and experience all the joys, sorrows and beauty of what is around you. Take comfort in knowing you are not all that exists and you are part of something beautiful. Begin to see yourself as loving, and helpful and aware of other people and their perspectives. Believe in the goodness and abilities within you and know that you can change this destructive belief system you have created. YOu have let your ego take over and your thoughts run over your emotions. YOu don't have an outlet or way of expressing yourself. Take a hold of your life and create it differently. Do little things each day to move toward a better and more purposeful life. There is much to be thankful for, look outside at nature and see all of its wonder and beauty, a true gift. Take time to notice the souls of people rather than their way of life or differences in opinions. Be more hopeful and positive and talk yourself into believing that way until you do. If you can become the master of your mind and spirit is up to you...

Wow it's like it says about me too.. ive always wondered why my life sucks, now I know why xD... and it never occurred to me that I am self-centered and selfish now I know I am lol. . thank you

[heresbigmike]

Motivation ! Is your problem ! You got to get out ? Get the out ! Got no money , got no place to go ? " GO THERE " ! Kiss and lick ! Believe me , you'll start getting ideas pretty fast ! Nothing wrong with " SEEING " where it's all at ! It'll give you motivation ! And much more than that , it will allow you to see reality from your own perspective ! You will actually begin to live and realize life on your own ! You actually only lack " LIFE or PERSONAL EXPERIENCE " ! Life is " GOOD " right now ! You don't have to worry about anything , except " WHO'S GONA TAKE CARE OF YOU ! IT'S AN ADVENTURE !!!!!! """ SHOOT THE MOON , MAN !""" THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN , IS YOU DIE ! KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THOSE YOU LOVE, YOU CARE FOR , OR PERHAPS WOULD JUST BE WILLING TO HELP YOU OUT , WHEN IT GETS REALLY ING " bad " ! , AND THEY'LL HELP YOU OUT WITH SOME CASH !!!!!! YOU'LL " actually " BE HAPPY YOU DID , LOOKING BACK ! YOU WON'T HAVE DONE EVERYTHING YOU WANT , THE WAY YOU WANT IT , ALTHOUGH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE CONTENT ! , AND YOU WILL NEVER HAVE " regrets " ! " never " YOU MAY NEVER ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU'VE SET OUT TO , " but the ( real ) satisfaction in life , (" IS ") look at all this i did!! Great ! And have fun !

[heresbigmike]

I wrote a whole thing! I think it's lost ! I'll do it again if I'm connected !

[heresbigmike]

Oh ! It's here now ! Something I should add! don't allow yourself to be misguided by the best intentioned!! This is your ( path ) ! There is always good and bad ! Don't thrive for the constant " good ",, it doesn't exist! What does exist , is the way """ you """ perceive it ! Love you !m.w.

[nick21C]

I hear ya, I have a sister who was that way. She still is that way and she is going on 31. There is no positive place to go with that perspective or way of living. You have become consumed by your emotions and allowed your thoughts to take over your practical life. Your ability to relate to others and their experience is limited. YOu have no awarenes of anyone else's pain, other than yourself. This self indulged, negative, perspective is holding you back from real relationships, any spiritual growth, or awareness of your real potential or gifts. You have created your reality with your limited, immature thinking. You have become lazy, arrogant, and dispondant. You seem to want intimate relationships, but have no real interest in expending any of your own energy to really engage with someone. You will continue to feed off your family and friends emotionally, financially, spiritually and otherwize. If you continue to see no higher version of yourself, the life you lead will continue into a downward spiral of depression and suicidal thoughts. I am not saying this to be mean, but to be a wake up call to what your future could be if you don't wake up to this greater existence other than yourself. YOu are part of something so much larger than you can imagine. YOur thoughts create your reality in this existence. You have the ability to change and redirect your future right now. All you have to do is learn from someone else's struggle and try to gain insight and perspective in your own. See what's within that makes you feel and think and grow. You journey in life is to connect with people and create relationships and experience all the joys, sorrows and beauty of what is around you. Take comfort in knowing you are not all that exists and you are part of something beautiful. Begin to see yourself as loving, and helpful and aware of other people and their perspectives. Believe in the goodness and abilities within you and know that you can change this destructive belief system you have created. YOu have let your ego take over and your thoughts run over your emotions. YOu don't have an outlet or way of expressing yourself. Take a hold of your life and create it differently. Do little things each day to move toward a better and more purposeful life. There is much to be thankful for, look outside at nature and see all of its wonder and beauty, a true gift. Take time to notice the souls of people rather than their way of life or differences in opinions. Be more hopeful and positive and talk yourself into believing that way until you do. If you can become the master of your mind and spirit is up to you...

Ouch! This really hit me. I felt like crying because it's really true (at least for me). Nice post, I hope I get to internalize this

[EmberStudios]

It can be hard starting getting a new job, especcially at times like this. However, it is very important to look at important factors when deciding what to do.

1.What do you like doing?
The worst thing you can possibly do is wake up every morning to a job you hate. However, to gain motivation you can work your way up! My mother left school with a U in maths and now she is a highly qualified stockbroker with a degree in economics. If you want to do something, you have to start and stick with it.

2. What are you good at?
Have you got any qualifications? Any special skills? If you don't have any very impressive results in exams or schooling, don't panic. Try to get yourself on a course or work experience programme. It is amazing how many contacts and good friends you make through this, and in the Employment world contacts are never a bad thing.Meeting new people may also get you out of the depressive cycle.

3. How can you stabilize your position?

To do well at work, it is important to show you are going to stick with it. If you can do this, you might be able to impress your parents enough for them to support you through it. Money can be an issue at first, but it is a truly fantastic experience to see your bank balance go up. I use this system: Save money WHEREVER you can. If you can avoid spending money on uneeded things. Cut back and cut back again. Things will be tight for a few months, but if you stop spending everything you earn, you really begin to get yourself moving. Open a savings account, and put as much as you can afford into it every month. HSBC is a good choice, it is very easy and quick to open one! Don't get a debit card, get a savings card. This will stop you over spending. It is fairly easy to get money, but keeping it is the hardest thing to do. Who knows? With a good credit history you might be able to get a mortgage for your first home.

4.Finally, make a good impression. And keep it up! Make sure you look smart and approachable when you go for a job- no one wants to hire someone who looks disinterested in a hoodie. Smile and show a genuine interest even if you couldn't care less about what they sell or do. Use a complex vocabulary and don't cut corners in what you are saying. This will show you are a competent speaker- always a good thing!


I know how it feels to be trapped in a society who does not respect you. But I have worked my way up, and have earned respect through doing these things. It is hard, and I have been almost pushed into giving up at points, but I have always stuck by what I believe and earned my way up honestly. Now, I can live comfortably doing a job I absolutely love with lots of wonderful people and friends.

The secret is simply acting. Become who you want to be, and never, ever give up. Get out of the circle and you will never, ever go back.