[mrscoltweaver]

I am about to pull my hair out... my 9 year old could care less if she showers correctly, brushes her teeth, etc. I try and try to tell her she needs to respect the body that she is in-she won't get another and it falls on deaf (and crusty) ears. She has braces and I keep telling her that when they come off, she might have grey teeth if her brushing doesn't improve. Nothing works! We are a clean family, shower daily, brush our teeth twice daily so what's up with her? Do I have to bathe her and shampoo her hair every night and brush her teeth FOR her? I've done this a few times and she doesn't mind at all... HELP!

[NowWhat]

It sounds like she is a bit lazy. Especially when you said she doesn't mind you doing the work for her. If this is really bothersome - you could take privileges away - or certain things she really likes. Tell her that if she is going to act like a baby - someone who has to have everything done for them, i.e... bathing and cleaning - then she should not be allowed to have "big girl" things. See if that motivates her.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yep, when she comes out of the bath, inspect, and if not done good send her back. If she won't bush her teeth right, stand there and watch her.
Remember who is the parent,

Perhaps start grounding her, taking away computer usage, and more.

[EllieBrown]

Are there other kids in the family?

[michealb]

Children and adults for that matter tend to do better when given a schedule. So if bedtime is at 9 at 8:30 she has to brush her teeth and shower. Make sure she has nothing better to do at 8:30 so she might as well do what needs to be done so she can get on with her day. Get her an electric tooth brush with a timer so she knows how long to brush for. Make sure she is consistently in the bathroom at 8:30 adjust other activities around it not the other way around and eventually you shouldn't even have to tell her to go any more it will become an automatic reaction that at 8:30 she goes to brush her teeth

[mrscoltweaver]

Yes, we have an almost 3 year old. We have bedtimes, bath times, and are very routine oriented. I agree with the laziness-in both of us. More exasperation than lazy on my part. We do the same things every night, she does have an electric toothbrush that plays music but I have a feeling she brushes the middle part of her teeth and that's it. I was hoping for a magic potion... you people really let me down. J/K
I'll be more deligent on my part!

[J_9]

We are trying to help, but the magic potion is still brewing. LOL

Anyway, remember that she is only 9. When she begins to develop, starts her menses, and realizes that boys do not have cooties, she will most likely begin to care more about her hygiene.

This is a stage that many young kids go through, just stay on her, be diligent and loving.

This too shall pass when she gets stinky and one of her friends tells her so. J/K

[hiperf402]

Take her to a children's hospital and explain to her how lucky she is to still have her health and that she can stay healthy by staying clean and eating good foods. Take her to the dentists office and have them show her some nasty pictures of rotten teeth and explain that she is heading down the road to what she is looking at.

[vlee]

A lot of kids prefer a bath to a shower... would she be interested in a bubble bath? Maybe that could be a reward on Sunday for showering well all week. I think you need to reward effort and punish defiance. You could also discuss this with her doctor and ask him/her to explain the importance of keeping clean to your daughter.

[SoonToBeMumOf5]

No offence but you seem a bit controlling on her... her friends might have said they get showers/baths every other day or something.. and she is 9! Why are you bathing her?

[Wondergirl]

My first thought was about those braces. If her teeth aren't cared for, many dollars will be down the drain because food will collect under the braces and her teeth will begin to decay. (I've lived through this with a son.)

From a parenting site:

The nine year old is easily redirected when she exhibits negative emotions or bad behavior.

What about making up a jobs-and-rewards chart--even creating it with her help? Seven columns representing Sun - Sat, four rows representing four weeks in a month, and inside each square, list jobs to be done by her. Keep it simple at first with only two jobs listed. Give her a star when a job has been done to your satisfaction. Also, there should be a reward list (different rewards for various levels of compliance?) that she will enjoy helping you make. Five stars in a row means X reward? Seven stars in a row means a better reward?