[deedee06]

I recently started working at a restaurant (like three weeks ago)... and I really wasn't very close to any of the other workers. Well last night I was working and one of the workers (I'll call him Jake) invited to come along with a bunch of the servers to a bar to chill, etc. Well not thinking anything of it I said yes. To make a long story short, turns out he likes me, but he is one of those guys who you look at and say to yourself "man, he works two jobs full time, is still in college and 27, is already begginning to bald, he's gonna be a loner"... yeah... so I have no desire to even get him a shot (although he is really nice, I just don't ever see myself dating him)... he even asked me out, but I was working the only day he has off (thank heavens)

How do I say no? Or get him to stop following me around and trying to date me without actually confronting him about it? Should I ignore the problem and hope it goes away? Mention a boyfriend (that I really don't have)? Help!

[Rockabilly1955mama]

Confront him. He needs to know what is on your mind and how you feel about this.

[JoeCanada76]

No, I am not interested. I am not interesting in dating. Please leave me alone.

There is not one nice way to put it because no matter how you say it, it will feel like a let down.

Do not lie that will cause more problems. You sound superficial though there is more about dating or not dating somebody because they are balding. Or because you think they think they are going to be a loner. How do you know that?

The longer you wait to tell the truth the harder it will be. Nip this one in the bud or you will end up hurting him.

[deedee06]

Everyone is a little superficial in dating... you are attracted to some people and not others... it's a fact of life. He is not my type, too old (that was the balding comment), and doesn't seem to have much ambition. I guess if he tries to ask me out again I will flat out tell him that he is not what I am looking for.

[AltaVista]

Ok, I was going to Rate/Disagree but I hate those 'red' marks. But just for a second look at what you've said between the two posts: "He's working Two full-time jobs and is also going to college". Sorry but I don't get the "doesn't seem to have much ambition" quote!
I really agree with everyone about how if someone is not 'your type' then that's just how things are.
Unless this guy's a stalker or semi-psycho, just be adult and reasonable... not everyone is supposed to be attracted to everyone. He should certainly understand that.

[Fr_Chuck]

Let me see, he is a very hard worker and going to college to better himself, yep sounds like a real loser, too bad he is not on welfare and smokes dope, but has hair, that would be a real catch.

You just say no and he will be the better for it, since he deseres someone that will respect him for what he is trying to do.

[deedee06]

You misunderstood... he is not going to college right now... I meant that he completed some college but stopped... but I can see how what I said was interpreted wrong... sorry half the time I'm exhausted when I get on here and not really paying attention