[needie]

I have always been a chatty-kathy! My parents always teased me from the time I started talking. I got in trouble all throughout school for "behavior issues." I'm also LOUD and my voice carries so I was the one the teacher always heard, even if lots of kids were talking.

I also have the kind of personality that likes to be right. (Does everyone?)

As an adult, my positive qualities are that I am very passionate about issues I care about - mostly social injustices. I am bright and write well (published, in fact!)

I am in my 60's now and live alone. Grown kids who I seldom see. Sometimes I go days with no one to talk to. I email a LOT and am a forum/chat list thing... One list put me on probation for over posting!

I have gotten feed back from friends that I know is more than valid:

I am/can be overbearing. Imagine a cross between Rosie O'Donnell, Al Sharpton, Roseann Bar all on speed! I DOMINATE conversations. I am over wordy and drive people away. Assertive and opinionated to the point that some find me abrasive and intimidating.

I've been in therapy. Therapists tell me to accept who I am and get new friends who accept me as I am. But I'd really like to change this aspect of myself and be a more pleasant for people to be around... instead of chasing them away with my NEEDINESS (which I think where it comes from.) I grew up with a frigid mother and have emotional abandonment issues according to my therapist.

Is there help? Overtalkers anonymous?

[DemonAlcohol]

At the complete polar opposite of what your describing (I usually avoid talking to people I don't know and in conversations I'm usually the support/reactive listener), I'd say one tip to help you out is to shut up for a few minutes and let other people talk, then you talk about the current subject for a few minutes, then shut up for a few more minutes. This will allow everyone to feel like they are a part of the conversation, people won't think you have to be the center of attention, and it will give you a chance to actually listen to what these people are saying. Smiling a lot and laughing even at the worst jokes never hurts either.

[needie]

Demon Alcohol: Thanks. But, that's like telling an alcoholic the way to stop drinking is to put the glass down. The next time you want to tie one on, have a cup of tea instead! If it were that easy there's be no AA and a rehab industry.

[DemonAlcohol]

What the hell do you want then? You say you talk too much and want help and when I suggest you let other people talk you act as if you have no willpower at all. You might as well just say you're a b!tch when you meet people, because that's what your coming across as.

This will be my last post on this subject.

[chippers]

Well well well I've finally met someone else like me. Strangely my being overbearing comes from being insecure and low self esteem. Which is getting better by the way. Some people have people issues that tend to make them have run of the mouth cause they're nervous. (I've been told that by my husband) I agree with your doctor. Stop trying to improve on who you are and look for people who accept you for who you are. You are different and embrace it. My low self esteem came from a mom who never saw any good in me. I bent over backwards to show her I was a good girl and a smart girl. Mom never noticed. Now I think about all that wasted time. I stopped worrying about what people thought of me and began to listen to my inner voice and learnt to trust it. Being assertive is fine. Being aggressive is different. Embrace who you are for who you are. You have many wonderful accomplishments to look up to. Especially your children. Being a parent is the hardest job we have and one we love the most. You have that and then some.
Join church groups senior clubs. Go on trips be active be outthere and have fun. Haven't you heard? 60 is the new 40. Good luck and god bless

[needie]

Thanks Chippers! Yes! You hit the nail on the head!

I talk far more when I am nervous, the opposite of those who clam up when nervous!

And, yes, it is understanding the underlying dynamics that are helpful. To see the need to "please" and to "be right" to be "accepted"... that's what is necessary to stop the behavior!

Thank you. It is so comforting to not feel alone or alienated.

I cannot imagine how anyone could consider name calling helpful. I am appalled by such rudeness and glad that you replied, though it seems this forum needs someone moderating.

[charm2jav]

What are the qualities of a teacher