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talaniman · May 29, 2007, 03:34 PM

I would say your angry, that she led you on and hurt you. That your mad at yourself because you did everything in your power to make her happy, and poured everything you had to make this work forever. Your really mad that you thought she was your angel, and turned out to be a devil. Good!! Remember that in your weak moments, when you want to hear her voice, or return her phone calls, Or be friends with her.

jshrckstar · May 29, 2007, 07:31 PM

Yeah, but right now I think the opposite way!. lol When I find myself getting angry at her, I turn to the good times we had, because I can't believe that this is her. I guess I can't believe its her because I have never seen this side of her. All I know about her, is what I loved about her. It's hard also because I have about 500 other problems going on in my life aside from the relationship. Some of them were even cause because of the break. It's hards to focus on healing when you're trying to just survive. Probably my biggest problem is that because she left, I can no longer afford my apartment, and will probably be evicted. I plan to pursue the money owed to me, by her, but this process will not happen in time to pay rent. My life is just at rock bottom, and I don't even know where to begin! What hurts a lot right now, is thinking that just 2 months ago, I was extremely happy. I was living with the girl I loved, my future wife in my eyes, and I could afford to be living the way I was. Had I known that this would happen, I would never have put myself in this position! I just don't know what to do right now, I am so lost!

talaniman · May 29, 2007, 08:14 PM

Your survival depends on your acceptance, that she put you in this hole and walked away. If you sit and think of the good times, you will sit in your hole and you will be evicted, so secure the basics for yourself and deal with the legal issues, as mooning for this female has to be the last thing on your mind. I strongly suggest you invest this time in getting your life together by doing what it takes, for you to be healthy, and happy. You can do this and as you get busy, things will fall in place. She gave up on you, but never give up on yourself.

jshrckstar · May 30, 2007, 12:42 AM

So, I just thought I would throw this out there for some opinion. I know for a fact that part of the reason why my girlfriend left was because I did have a drinking problem. Sometimes, I would drink too much, and when we would have an argument about something small, it would naturally turn into something bigger because of my dring. Now, I want to make it clear that I never did anything physically. I would just yell a lot louder than normal, and I would not think rationally during these arguments. I have not touched a drink in almost 2 months, and have spoken with a counselor on several occasions. I finally feel as though I have a grasp on my issue, and I am able to pass up the drinkls at this point. I did not start drinking heavily until about the last 4 months of our relationship. Prior to that I was fine, I was the occasional social drinker, and our relationship seemed great. Now, my question is, do you think it would be worth explaining to her that this was not me? I feel as though she is holding on to THAT person, and not the person I was before I started drinking, the guy she fell in love with. She knows/ knew that I was having a problem at the time of the brek up as well. Do you think that I have a chance of showing her my new ways, and lifestyle? What should I do in this situation?

talaniman · May 30, 2007, 04:00 AM

May26

My girlfriend, and I of a year and a half have been broken up now for about 1 month

If I am to believe your time line, you were sober at least a month before she left, and I can only conclude that your sobriety wasn't enough to make her stay so, noting has changed and your present situation comes first. Either get a roommate, a second job, or move.

you think that I have a chance of showing her my new ways, and lifestyle? What should I do in this situation?

Your grasping at straws now, and even you can see how dumb that is, as you have enough on your plate to not waste time with some one who doesn't love you. So please stop with the excuses and get busy with you.

jshrckstar · Jun 6, 2007, 09:03 PM

Okay, so you all have a good idea about my situation with my ex girlfriend. Well, the last couple of days have been pretty crazy for me. I have continued the NC rule, and it has been about 2 weeks now. So, in theory, it has been about 1 1/2 months since my ex and I have actually been together. Well, today, I get a call from her. When we were a couple, we both had gym memberships at a local gym. She set up my membership on her credit card. So, about 2 weeks after she had left, she asked me to either put mine on my credit card, or cancel the membership. So, I obliged, and cancelled the membership. Today, she called me and said this " So, I know you cancelled your membership, but there was some hidden cancellation fee. They charged it to my credit card. I dont know if you really care, but I could sure use the money. Your probably thinking F*** you, whatever. Thats fine. If you want you can just mail me a check, or if you dont care, just send me a text message that says I dont care F*** you. Thats fine" Keep in mind, I did not speak with her, I just listened to the voicemail she had left. So, this has really taken my emotions on a roller coaster ride. I mean, if you know about my earlier posts, you will find that when she moved out, she left me with all of the bills that are in my name and hers. Including the lease for our apartment. I am torn because I care for her, and it did sound like she needed the money. I want to be there for her! But, at the same time though, I wonder why she keeps doing this, and how she could even think this would be okay after all she has put me through. Anyway, after I received the voicemail, she sent me a text message about 15 min. later that reads " Nevermind my voicemail, forget about it. Its not your problem, I am sorry to have bothered you. Just forget it." Can anyone shed some light on this, cause you know I am analyzing the heck out of both of these contacts... lol

talaniman · Jun 6, 2007, 09:29 PM

Can anyone shed some light on this, cause you know I am analyzing the heck out of both of these contacts... lol

She is just testing the waters for a reaction, so stop anylyzing and DON'T react. Send no money either, what nerve. You owe her nothing at all.

jshrckstar · Jun 7, 2007, 09:55 AM

Talaniman, what is it that you mean by "Testing the waters for a reaction"? I'm not sure I understand, but either way I'm not sending the money.

talaniman · Jun 7, 2007, 10:06 AM

That means she is checking YOUR feelings. For what end only she knows. The less you analyze her feelings the better, but know and deal with your own, without her influence to confuse you.

bushg · Jun 7, 2007, 10:18 AM

Your right tal. If I was him I would change my number. She is just playing games. And she is a selfish little***** to even suggest that he give her money. Jshrstr I hope you see this about her. Set down make a list of all the things she did that annoyed you and that you did not respect about herand examples of how she treated you unfairly. Don't wallow. Just be realistic You will see she is not quite the gem, that you used to see . Go do things that make you happy and believe me when you least expect it someone will come along.

jshrckstar · Jun 7, 2007, 07:49 PM

Thanks guys! I guess my next question would be, How do you stop holding out for hope? I always tell myself all of the bad things she did to me, but I always find myself assuming she will come back. I have been moving on with my life and all, but there is always that small bit of hope I seem to carry with me. I just want to get over it, and fully move on with my life. I'm sure there will be another girl down the road who appreciates what I have to offer. Any suggestions will help!

bushg · Jun 7, 2007, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by jshrckstar

Thanks guys! I guess my next question would be, How do you stop holding out for hope? I always tell myself all of the bad things she did to me, but I always find myself assuming she will come back. I have been moving on with my life and all, but there is always that small bit of hope I seem to carry with me. I just want to get over it, and fully move on with my life. I'm sure there will be another girl down the road who appreciates what I have to offer. Any suggestions will help!

She is not all bad and you know that or you would not have been with her. When the good out weighs the bad then let go, so what would change if she came back. While you are moving on her memory will get more distant as the days go by. Just don't let her absence make you forget why it did not work in the first place, that is why I said in a earlier post put it on paper and keep it so that if you ever go down memory lane you can jolt yourself back into reality. Because you never know she may try and come back if other things do not work out or if money gets tight. Remember that she still carry's the same baggage around with her now as when she left the first time. Good luck

talaniman · Jun 7, 2007, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by jshrckstar

Thanks guys! I guess my next question would be, How do you stop holding out for hope? I always tell myself all of the bad things she did to me, but I always find myself assuming she will come back. I have been moving on with my life and all, but there is always that small bit of hope I seem to carry with me. I just want to get over it, and fully move on with my life. I'm sure there will be another girl down the road who appreciates what I have to offer. Any suggestions will help!

No Contact, and time and getting a life that you enjoy without her. Find your own happiness by loving yourself. That should keep you busy.

jshrckstar · Jun 8, 2007, 12:40 AM

The thing is, is that I have been continuing my life! But, I just can't get it out of my mind. Everywhere I go, she is on my mind! It just sucks that she would call me and say this stuff! It really throws me for a loop, you know! I'm just having a hard time delaing with all of this, because I have never been through it. I enjoy my life already and I always have, it's just that she added a sparkle to my life that I had never experienced before. I just feel really lost, because, like I said I've never been through this before.

talaniman · Jun 8, 2007, 04:13 AM

We all have caught hell with first break up, so you have a lot of company there

Larjada · Jun 8, 2007, 06:19 AM

She probably never cared for you. .
She is angry because she has no respect for you and probably cannot stand the sight of you. She has used you and still using you. You need to read your own statement. This
Breakup did not happen overnight. This was from the beginning. She has another man
She think she can use. YOU ARE ALL USED UP.

bushg · Jun 8, 2007, 06:34 AM

Larjda It is normal for some people to take their indescretions and turn them around on you, therefore being angry with you relieves them of accepting their responsibility in the matter . No matter how agreeable jshrstr is with her she will still find a way or reason to be angry with him. Simply put she wants to blame him, so she can go on with her life and have a clear conscience. It is all about her, because she is selfish and his feelings do not matter. I know he really doesn't want someone like this. No one does. We all want to matter esp. to our mates. p.s. you are probably right she meet someone else that she wanted to pursue a relationship with and that is why it ended so quickly.

jshrckstar · Jun 9, 2007, 01:52 AM

Thanks guys! Bushg, I can relate to your contributions more than others! It makes more sense to me, I guess. My question for you, or anyone, is where do I go from here? I have been continuing with my life, and fully enjoy it at this point. I still miss her, but there are not as many feelings backing the thoughts at this point. When I think of being with her again, or starting a relationship, I think of awkwardeness, and hurt. I don't think about how awesome it would be or anything. Can anyone tell where I am in the break up process? Do I still love her? Or do I love the memory of her, or who she used to be?

talaniman · Jun 9, 2007, 03:58 AM

You are in the transition between the emotional shock and acceptance and because you have a life that your already happy with you have saved yourself a lot of the grief we see in these threads and the humily of total denial, which shows your health, and strenghth through this whole thing. You may think of the love you had but it will not make you stuck on stupid, or holding on to false hope. You have already embraced moving on in the sense you see things clearly, and have a life to fall back on.I really think your on a great path.

jshrckstar · Jun 13, 2007, 09:54 PM

Why do I miss her so much? I just can't seem to shake this! She seems to have already gotten over me so quickly, which is odd to me? Thinking back, she was so in love with me, and now it's as though I don't even exist. I do the best I can to keep my life going, but she always crosses mind, and then realize how much I miss her. I'm unsure what to do, I just want all of the thoughts to go away, so I can move on. I accept that it's over and everything, but I still think of her, and it's hard. As always, any help would be appreciated!