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pickle1000 · May 25, 2007, 06:18 PM

Hello, I'm married and me and my husband(we both are virgin) tried to have sexual intercourse last night for the first time.We were enjoying in the beginning with that foreplay but when we tried to have intercourse he was trying harder to put his penis in,but couldn't succeeded.His penis was getting softer again and again.We tried it 5 times but he couldn't succeeded.I am very worried why this happened ,he is worried too.

Can anyone help me telling what was the problem or how we can solve it?

I'm 23 and he is nearly 30.We are also planning to make family.
He had erection problem, his that pvt thing was not getting harder but verrry soft.
We both were happy and not much nervous.But he said that he was a bit tired.So does that matter?
Tell me is there any problem in me or him?
Thanks for your help in advance

Clough · May 25, 2007, 06:51 PM

There is a product for erectile problems. It is called Viagra. You get it by prescription. I have heard that it really works.

pickle1000 · May 25, 2007, 07:27 PM

Originally Posted by Clough

There is a product for erectile problems. It is called Viagra. You get it by prescription. I have heard that it really works.

Thanks a lot
Is there any other way so that we could try before taking medicine.Beacuse my husband is hesitant to take medicines at the moment.
But anyway thanks a lot:)

Sunshine2 · May 25, 2007, 07:35 PM

It sounds like it might just be a little too much pressure to perform. He might just be nervous. Give things time.

pickle1000 · May 25, 2007, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by Sunshine2

it sounds like it might just be a little too much pressure to perform. He might just be nervous. Give things time.

Yeah I also think he would be nervous from inside
Thank you so much:)

DocWill · May 25, 2007, 08:42 PM

Lets all group hug an say its going to be OK :)

wiggitywackiraq · May 25, 2007, 08:54 PM

Maybe he doesn't find you attractive, but at the same time he gets to show off his 23 year old "arm candy?" you must forgive me, I am blunt in my views.
Another possibility, because, admittedly, this has happened to me a few times, he was so excited before the foreplay, and had a chance to get away and masturbate. He could have been feeling like he had to perform, and he thought if he made it last he could be a legend to you. Preintercourse masturbation is the leading cause in many studies for erectile dysfunction.

JoeCanada76 · May 25, 2007, 09:13 PM

FIRST FACT - This is your first time for both of you.

SECOND FACT - Believe it or not, need practise and more practise. It gets frustrating but at the same time. When things like this happen you need to realise that it is not as easy as the movies especially the first time.

THIRD FACT - this is absolutley normal for the first time, and people who automatically try to say that there are medicines and automatically claim that there is a erectile dysfunction do not know what they are talking about and unaware or forget what their first times were like. Medicine is not the answer in this case.

FOURTH FACT - Which is probably the only reason for this. Nervousness, pressure these two things can cause problems. Both of you need to relax. In time and with practise it will get easier and easier. Both of you will need to have a lot of practise, a lot of patience and a really good sense of humour.

Joe

pickle1000 · May 25, 2007, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

FIRST FACT - This is your first time for both of you.

SECOND FACT - Believe it or not, need practise and more practise. It gets frustrating but at the same time. When things like this happen you need to realise that it is not as easy as the movies especially the first time.

THIRD FACT - this is absolutley normal for the first time, and people who automatically try to say that there are medicines and automatically claim that there is a erectile dysfunction do not know what they are talking about and unaware or forget what their first times were like. Medicine is not the answer in this case.

FOURTH FACT - Which is probably the only reason for this. Nervousness, pressure these two things can cause problems. Both of you need to relax. In time and with practise it will get easier and easier. Both of you will need to have a lot of practise, a lot of patience and a really good sense of humour.

Joe

So sweet of you, u have made me feel comfortable now, I was very worried
We will try to work on what u mentioned.
Thank you so much

Patchi · May 26, 2007, 12:44 PM

Give it some time.Dont decrease the intensity of foreplay as you are really enjoying it.If you keep trying every day,you sure will get it in a week or two.its never easy fitting a penis into a virign.But keep on trying and enjoy this period.Maximise foreplay before starting intercourse so the vaginal muscles will loosen and get more wet for better entry.

pickle1000 · May 26, 2007, 10:10 PM

Originally Posted by Patchi

Give it some time.Dont decrease the intensity of foreplay as you are really enjoying it.If you keep trying every day,you sure will get it in a week or two.its never easy fitting a penis into a virign.But keep on trying and enjoy this period.Maximise foreplay before starting intercourse so the vaginal muscles will loosen and get more wet for better entry.

You are right I agree

Thanks
:)

brandy681 · May 26, 2007, 10:19 PM

You have a similar instance with me and my husband when we both had sex for our first times.

Your vagina is very tight right now and it is going to be hard to get the penis to go inside of your vagina and the more you try your husband will become soft from trying so much. This is why your husband becomes soft, this may not be a problem with erection but because A. He is too tired or do NOT find you attractive or B. Is having a hard time staying errect, for a male to stay errect he has to have pleasure and this will go away after about 2-5 minutes of trying to get the penis inside of you.

He may be hard when you start trying to get it inside of you but then from trying so much it puts pressure on him and he loses his erection. You need to have your vaginal area loosened some, maybe he can finger you with 2 fingers. This will hurt as will sex but it will open your vagina some and will have more room for his penis to go through (sorry to be so graphic but there is no other way and hopefully we are all adults here).

Patchi · May 26, 2007, 10:38 PM

Please wrap your fingers with condom if you have any intention of inserting,otherwise it can be dangerous.The nails can scratch somewhere inside where its very sensitive.
But the penis will find its way,don't worry about the fingers.

intellectpursues · May 27, 2007, 12:23 AM

Just enjoy each other. Sex is scary for both genders the first time, no matter how ready you think you are. It may take time for it to happen, but its probably a mental thing for him. He may deep down be afraid of pregnancy if he finishes too soon, or may just be thinking that it was so wrong to have sex his whole life, why is it all right now? Your love for each other will ultimately change your sexual problems, and your minds have got to let go in the bedroom.

leeser · May 27, 2007, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by pickle1000

hello, I m married and me and my husband(we both are virgin) tried to have sexual intercourse last night for the first time.We were enjoying in the begining with that foreplay but when we tried to have intercourse he was trying harder to put his penis in,but couldn't succeeded.His penis was getting softer again n again.We tried it 5 times but he couldn't succeeded.I am very worried why this happened ,he is worried too.

Can anyone help me telling what was the problem or how we can solve it?

i m 23 and he is nearly 30.We are also planning to make family.
he had erection problem, his that pvt thing was not getting harder but verrry soft.
We both were happy and not much nervous.But he said that he was a bit tired.So does that matter?
tell me is there any problem in me or him?
thanx for ur help in advance

Stick a dildo inside his to familiarize him with how it feels, then turn around and let him stick it inside you but keep it quiet.

pickle1000 · May 29, 2007, 06:37 PM

Originally Posted by intellectpursues

Just enjoy eachother. Sex is scary for both genders the first time, no matter how ready you think you are. It may take time for it to happen, but its probably a mental thing for him. He may deep down be afraid of pregnancy if he finishes too soon, or may just be thinking that it was so wrong to have sex his whole life, why is it alright now? Your love for eachother will ultimately change your sexual problems, and your minds have got to let go in the bedroom.

:) thanx:)

deedee06 · May 29, 2007, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by brandy681

You have a similar instance with me and my husband when we both had sex for our first times.

Your vagina is very tight right now and it is going to be hard to get the penis to go inside of your vagina and the more you try your husband will become soft from trying so much. This is why your husband becomes soft, this may not be a problem with erection but because A. He is too tired or do NOT find you attractive or B. Is having a hard time staying errect, for a male to stay errect he has to have pleasure and this will go away after about 2-5 minutes of trying to get the penis inside of you.

He may be hard when you start out trying to get it inside of you but then from trying so much it puts pressure on him and he loses his erection. You need to have your vaginal area loosened some, maybe he can finger you with 2 fingers. This will hurt as will sex but it will open your vagina some and will have more room for his penis to go through (sorry to be so graphic but there is no other way and hopefully we are all adults here).

This is actually very good advice. But, 2 fingers is not large enough. Try having him use three fingers or a larger sex toy. Even just massaging in large circles should help. But all I can say to you is make sure you are not tightening your vaginal muscles when he tries to insert his penis. It makes it much harder. Also, (sorry :) ) the position you are in makes a huge difference. My first time we tried missionary position at first (and it failed about 5 times before we tried something different). What worked for me was having him sit down with the girl on top so that she can control the insertion. It is much easier to guide the penis into the vagina (if you have ever used tampons... it's pretty much the same, except it will burn quite a bit so be ready for that).

Hope that helps!