How did you do it?

fix-what-you-broke · May 25, 2007, 01:11 PM

This isn't a problem of mine.. im just curious about it to be honest.
I guess I want to ask married men... when you were ready to get married did you keep it a secret from your future wife, and ask her out of the blue, or did you give any hints at all?
And for the gals... did you know he was going to ask?

NowWhat · May 25, 2007, 01:22 PM

I knew my husband was going to ask because he took me ring shopping. He put the ring of choice on layaway and would not "officially" ask me until it was paid for. So, that part was secret. Although, I am EXTREMELY nosy and I found the store receipt after he finished paying for it - so I knew it was coming.

fix-what-you-broke · May 25, 2007, 01:28 PM

Lol I'm the same as you with the noseyness... well kind of.. I hate suprises,I would rather know about something so I can look forward to it lol, although with a proposal I think I would rather not know.

Synnen · May 25, 2007, 02:10 PM

I told my husband I was starting wedding plans, and that he'd better tell me if there was a reason I shouldn't.

I got my proposal, with a ring I picked out, just AFTER the rehearsal, but before the rehearsal dinner.

moomin007 · May 25, 2007, 02:15 PM

Me & my husband went 'looking' at rings. I gave him a few options and he bought one of his choice.
I didn't know which one or when but I knew the proposal was coming because I know him quite well ;)... but his plans didn't quite work out!

The table he had booked was ready but he wasn't able to go down on one knee because the guy at the next table was too fat and he couldn't fit! So he did it in the street outside at the end of the meal... in front of everyone! ~ how could I say no to that!

wiggitywackiraq · May 25, 2007, 10:50 PM

Sounds like y'all need some answers from a dude... a married dude at that:
My wife and I have known each other since the sandbox, like preschool. We met on a playdate when we were 4. she gave me coodies in 1st grade, I asked her if she would be my girl in 3rd grade, in 8th grade we lost our virginity together, and then got all freaked out and broke up cause I got sent away to school. We reconnected when we were both 20, and I had just returned from my first tour in iraq. You see I've been in love with her since I knew what cocoa puffs were, since I can remember really. We dated and she moved in with me only one month after we remet on the internet by chance finding each other again. Amazingly we were perfect matches and came up number one on each other's e-harmony things, and it was just scary to see her face pop up first, and so I called her, and she moved in a month later from Florida to Texas. She dropped everything for me. I too drop everything for her whenever the chance arises. The first time I proposed to her one Sunday morning amidst a fight, which I fully regret, and she said yes, and the fight was over why I hadn't asked her yet, because she knew that I had the ring already... I think a buddy narced me out on that, and I fought her trying to secure my secret romantic night, but she beat me to it, so it became impromtu. We got married by a justice of the peace two days later. I'm in the military, that's how we generally do it. I know I'm a bastard... but wait there's more!! I have been deployed twice since then, that's two of the last 3 1/2 years gone from her. I recently went home on leave... I told her I would be in around 7 pm for her to pick me up at the airport, and we would have our two weeks together... I lied to her. I showed up at noon... with two dozen roses, a new and upgraded engagement ring to replace her old smaller one (refer to a question I asked on this sight "engagement ring upgrade"), and a 6 ft tall teddy bear, and I proposed to her on our front porch after she had not seen me for a little over 6 months. That's a guaranteed yes in my book (unless her boyfriend was there, lol j/k). OK, so that's my story on how I did it both times. Oh I almost forgot, she and I will be doing our vow renewal in the poconos mountains in the winter with the snow and the whole thing, and going on a second honeymoon.

JoeCanada76 · May 26, 2007, 03:11 AM

I gave hints but in the end when it finally did happened there was shock and surprise, I did it so well. Lol

fix-what-you-broke · May 26, 2007, 03:26 AM

Wow I didn't expect anyone to get a red box for answering, the way I see it there is no wrong answers to this question, it was supposed to be just a general question... I have to agree with jesus on this one though, he did not give a wrong answer so did not deseve to be called "full of crap"
All I basically wanted to know was if the wives had any idea or if it was managed to be kept as a total surprise.

talaniman · May 26, 2007, 05:43 AM

I can't imagine my wife being surprised as we were all ready living together for a year, and dated for a year before that. What did surprise her though was renewing our vows in Vegas on the star ship Enterprise, at the Hilton hotel, the Captain did the service on the bridge.

kitch428 · May 27, 2007, 12:15 PM

I was the one surprised! It was a case of absence makes the heart grow fonder. We dated 5 yrs and both of us were into our 30's, but I became very down because of low pay and not being able to support. To be honest, I thought I'd never get married.
I had to break it off and move far away to try and better myself and get to a better economy. I could always find a job for what I do.
I did, and settled in nicely. After 2 yrs I felt an empty void. We always kept in touch, and I always made remarks like she should move down here and get out of that dirty town.
But she had so much to give up, like family, house, friends, and a job she had been at for 16 yrs.
One day out of the blue she said that if she was to move, I had to buy a ring and marry her. Got me thinking like never before.
So I found the ring she wanted, flew back up north, and got down on my knees. But she knew what I was about to do, so no real big surprise, just the element of surprise.
I knew she was my best friend. And we both felt the same way about having children.
All that thinking was really a no brainer. She's the one. I call her unique.

kitch428 · May 28, 2007, 08:18 PM

Thanks for the comment, Jesushelper. Yeah, she's a keeper.
But this post is for fix. I know it was a question of curious, but I'd like to say one thing. It sounds to me that this guy isn't going anywhere. Take your time and don't dwell on it. Get rock solid on your feet, and you'll have so much more positive energy.
Things happen that are meant to be. It will be in your favor. I know the way I say it makes it sound so easy... and you're probably saying "YEAH, RIGHT!!", but I did it. My story tells it. Ok, mate?

jstrike · May 28, 2007, 09:38 PM

We had been out ring shopping together so she knew I was going to ask but she didn't know when. The day I proposed I drove up to see her (about 1.5 horus away) and cooked dinner for her. I had the ring in my pocket but knowing how devious she is I hid it in the bathroom. Good thing I did because as I was cooking she came up behind me and stuck her hands in my pockets looking for the ring! She went away all disappointed. I got the ring back right before we ate and she was really quiet during dinner... Immediately after dinner I got down on one knee and asked the question. Eighteen years and three kids later I've never been happier.

Good luck!

fix-what-you-broke · May 30, 2007, 09:01 AM

Kitch--"I know it was a question of curious, but I'd like to say one thing. It sounds to me that this guy isn't going anywhere. Take your time and don't dwell on it."...
You are almost right, ish!
I AM curious about it, and also I am looking for signs as well, its an even balance, I'm not dwelling on it, it might never happen!
Basically, we had "the" talk a couple of months ago, and the reason this question has come up on the forum is because ever since we had the talk I have noticed little things he has done or said that is making me think.
It was one of those "where are we going" type talks, he told me he was thinking about marriage a lot more, he pictures us together when we are old etc, he was then honest that at this time with all the money problems at the moment it would be best to wait, and I agreed with him, its pointless doing anything when we do not have the money behind us right now.
I guess what I am trying to say is I have noticed a few little things on his part and was curious to know if he may or may not be thinking seriously about it, he is the kind to keep gifts/suprises as just that, unless I get it out of him, which I usually do!

Tuscany · May 30, 2007, 09:11 AM

I never got a hint. We had talked about it, but then this house came on the market, and we decided to buy that and put the wedding on hold.

We went to a benefit wine tasting for Valentines Day (we had been going to this since the first year we were together). Usually I would meet my husband down at the hotel, we would get a room, relax, then go to the tasting. However, he decided that he wanted to come and get me at home and we would drive in together. (Not a hint) He went in to register and came back out, we took the elevator up to the 16th floor of the hotel. All the way up he was acting goofy, saying things like "whats that sound" and I hate elevator so I was less than pleased. Then we got to the room.

There were flowers everywhere, candles, a big teddy bear, a bottle of Champagne. I turned and said to him, wow did you upgrade on the package deal (again still no idea). He reached into his pocket, said some stuff and then asked me to marry him. I answered NO WAY! Because I was so shocked. He asked if I wanted to change my answer... so of course I said yes.

There might have been other hints along the way, but I had no idea. It was the most perfect night, oh and he picked out the ring, and did an outstanding job...

kitch428 · May 30, 2007, 08:01 PM

... thinking seriously about it?. hmmm. I don't want to pop any bubbles, but I want to give you a mans thinking for a minute.
He really is stressed at work. This takes such a toll on a man. The long working hours are no help in the matter. But we have to make a living!! Once he settles down from the day, he sees YOU. This is when he's thinking. Then the money woes may set in for a moment, then back to you. The more you comfort him, the more he thinks I must marry this girl.
I need an anchor in my life and it's HER!
Oh yes, he may be getting to be a serious thinker on the subject, but then the alarm clock goes off and it's another day of the stressful job.
Finally, but I hope I'm totally wrong on this, there's the family thing you were talking about... again, from a mans way of thinking, it's not helping any.
Fix, If I said anything to offend you, I'm really sorry. I'm just putting myself in the mans way of thinking. Sounds to me you are two level headed adults that are going to grow very old together... someday :)

startover22 · May 31, 2007, 10:20 AM

I wasn't surprised! I knew it was going to come. Thank God it did! Hey FIX, did you ever think we could go on and on about this? I am going to go into your picture and change it to a little kitty! I just needed to get that out in one of these posts. And whoa way off the subject I know!

fix-what-you-broke · May 31, 2007, 01:20 PM

Awwww start do you not like my pic (sobs) lol

startover22 · May 31, 2007, 02:58 PM

Are you going to change it if I ask? Awww I didn't think so! See you later tater!

fix-what-you-broke · May 31, 2007, 03:34 PM

LOL OK why not... what do you want me to change it to?
Ps, I will change back after tonight) lol

startover22 · May 31, 2007, 03:49 PM

Your choice something, not so moody... hehehehe I am ALMOST intimidated with this one.