[mckenzie134]

Well easier said than done!!

When itcomes to giving advice on relationships I've found I can give it so easily but when it comes to taking my own advice HOPELESS!!

Ive told so many people if you want a chance with your ex then you should do this or that!!

Mainly if she says she wants a break then fine let her miss you for if she doesn't miss you then she is not that into you anyhow!!

Trying to talk to her will only let her have you and the break at the same time and the only outcome here will be her telling herself I'm on a break and I feel fine I guess I don't WANT him after all./ The reason for this is because she doesn't realise but she is not missing you cause you are actually still around and talking to her, you need to be gone she has to realise she is giving you up and therefore you are going to be available for someone else and she is losing you!! SIMPLE

Well I can say this to everyone but yet I still kept in contact withmy ex and the reason for this is because they are selfis!!

I know now she wanted me around cause she still ahd feelings and thought to herself I don't want to let him go this is the reason they hug you for the first few weeks after the break and say things like I miss you and I'm confused!!

They are confused but they are only confused while you are hanging around. Yes that's right they are selfish and do not know they are giving you false hope they believe they are thinking abouty it and they are really thinking but will not reach the decision to stay if you are around!! I KNOW THIS

Then after a few weeks they go cold on you they do not want to hug you anymore they pretty much cut you right off they say tings like well we will just be friends and its not you I'm just not ready and then you wonder where all the hugs have gone and if you try they are just like whatever which then makes you upset and say how could they be this way!!

I will tell you now FEMALES are SELFISH and while they are chasing you they are trying to get what they want and no matter how much they say they love you I tell you now THEY DO NOT REALLY MEAN IT THE ONL REASON A FEMALE SAYS SHE LOVES YOU IS BECAUSE SHE FEELS SHE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU CAUSE SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU ALL THE TIME AND WQNTS YOU AROUND AND BELIEVES SHE can't BE WITHOUT YOU!!

That's why so many guys have relationships and then say BUT SHE TOLD ME SHE LOVES ME ALL THE TIME AND NO DOUBTY WHEN SHE TOLD YOU THIS SHE DID LOVE YOU OR AT LEAST FEEL LIKE SHE NEEDED YOU AND YET AGAIN FEMALES ARE SELFISH ALL THEY WANT IS WHAT IS GOOD FOR THEM!!

Having sex a lot of females just like the sex buut also believe they are keeping the guy and they want to give him SEX so he is more keen on them!!

This is why relationships break down and the female leaves cause adventually she catches up with the guy and no longer sees it as of much as a chase and then starts to feel confused and cries a bit cause she is unsure and then she becomes SELFISH!! Girls do not really care how a guy feels as long as they are HAPPY THEMSELVES!!


This can also be proven by the fact GIRLS WILL NOT SPEAK AND HANG OUT WITH THERE FRIENDS AS MUCH WHEN THEY ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE THEY FIND TYHEY SPEND MORE TIME CHASING OR WANTING TO SEE THERE BOYFRIEND WHO IS Probably BUSY WHICH KEEPS THE GIRL MORE INTERESTED!! Also girls feel they do not need to see there friends all the time and put a lot of emotion into the boyfriend...

IN THE END THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO DESCRIBE FEMALES AS SELFISH!! ES
ALL THEY WANT IS TO BE HAPPY THEMSELVES AND THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY IS TO KEEP THEM CHASING AFTER YOU OR SO TO SPEAK Don't GIVE THEM ALL OF YOU AND YOU WILL BE FINE!!

[SouthernBelle06]

I realize that you are feeling angry at your ex girlfriend and are venting, so even though I am female, I won't take your insults about "all females" personally. But I did want to say that your description of us all as being selfish and playing games is sorely incorrect. Just because one girl hurt you, you can't discredit all of womankind.

I have had men treat me the same way that you have described here. I was cheated on by an ex I was with for 8 years and I had treated him very well. I am not exaggerating here. He even told me I treated him better than anyone ever had and that he didn't deserve me. My latest ex pushed and pushed for a long distance relationship with me (though I was skeptical at first) only to have him dump me out of nowhere after a year together (and a very wonderful vacation) for a girl closer to him blaming "the distance". He and I got along famously for the majority of the time and only argued maybe two or three times over very minor things during the year we were together. The point is I am female and treated both of them well. I wasn't clingy. I was faithful. We had fun together. Chemistry. Intimacy. I loved them both and tried to make it work as best as I could. I had the best of intentions with both of them.

That out of the way, you say that the only reason you were friends with your ex was because of her selfishness. That wasn't the only reason, only a part of it. Yes, I agree that asking for a friendship after you dump someone is selfish. It is usually done to ease the guilt one feels for hurting their partner and to not look like the "bad guy" in the situation. It can also be done so they can still have the ex around so they won't have to miss them. They like you in some ways, just not "THAT WAY" anymore. Also you are still "there" waiting for your ex just in case they change their mind and want you back. If they don't, they still have your friendship, so it's all good for them either way. They haven't lost anything.

The other part of the reason you stayed friends with her is because YOU wanted her back, which is understandable. The reason a person who is dumped agrees to stay friends is usually because they hope that they can remind their ex of how great they are and what they are missing and get the dumper to change their mind. I speak from experience here as both the dumper and the dumpee who then attempted friendship. I had to learn the hard way that this wasn't a good idea. I wouldn't listen to others who told me not to.

We all understand that you are hurting. We all understand that you miss her and want her back and that you are frustrated. Many people come on here wanting answers how to get their ex back. There is no answer. You can't make someone feel anything for you. You can't make someone want to be with you when they don't anymore. Honestly all you can do is be your best self and try to enjoy and make the most of your life with or without this person.

After you are dumped all you can do is say to the other person, "I still love you and I want to work things out. I don't want this breakup." If they still insist on it, you have to respect their wishes and let them go. If they ask for a friendship and it is too hard for you, be honest. Tell them "It isn't the best idea to try to remain friends because I care about you as more than friends. But I would like for you to contact me if you change your mind and want to discuss getting back together." This leaves the door open for reconciliation while at the same time stops the confusing, frustrating, disappointing, and hurtful interactions that occur when you try to be just friends when you want more. Then if they don't contact you for a reconciliation, you have your answer and can still speed up the moving on process and go on with your life. You at least know that you did all you could.

[mckenzie134]

Yes yourright with what you say and I suppose I am angry at myself. There were plentyof opportunities for me to put her in a bit more pain and make her really love me lots and I just did not do this cause I didn't want to see her feel that way. But I have learnt making her feel that way would be good for our relationnship

[AW805]

Not only are you bitter... but extremely immature.