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BigCityDreams007 · May 21, 2007, 08:29 AM

My boyfriend and I are very close. We have been together for a while and everything has been perfect. Recently I have had a pregnancy scare. I told my boyfriend because I hold no secrets from him, and as soon as I told him I wasn't he got sad and disapointed (which to me is VERY weird, you would think most guys would be Jumping for joy to hear there not a daddy haha). We talked so much about me being pregnant and how amazing it would be and to be honest I myself was a little disapointed. We are Not married and were still young. I guess I'm just looking for opinions. What would you do in my shoes? I really think I'm ready to have a child. I know that its hard. Trust me I have many brothers and sisters I have grown up with children of all ages my whole life. I can afford a child. I think I'm ready. What's your opinion.

kcoyle · May 21, 2007, 08:54 AM

You are young and not married... so I think you answered your own question. Would it be a good time to have a baby? No. Would it be right to know that you are young, and not married, and to plan getting pregnant because it sounds good? No. Is it best to think about the child and wait until you are married and stable to start a family? Yes!!

brandy681 · May 21, 2007, 11:52 AM

If he loves you and you have been together for a while then you should first be talking about marriage and not going backwards and talking about children first. If you can afford to have a child and are ready to have a child then you KNOW that you are ready to get married.

You need to first consider what both your parents will feel and who will be taking care of the baby all of the time! This happened because you got your hopes up in thinking about this because you thought about the possibility and this has happened to me and I do know how you feel but you have to understand that when you have a baby it will be a lot different than you think and is a whole lot of work and resonsibility.

Relationships last longer when you are married first before having kids and have been together for a while because you get to look forward to getting married, having children and all of the GREAT things to come! Please consider all things and USE protection because this way you won't get your hopes up about being pregnant. If you are a little nervous and scared that is because you know in your heart that you have doubts because you are young and ot married. If you wait a while you will have more blessings from your faimily and more happiness in the long run. Good Luck!

MummaCrash · May 21, 2007, 04:26 PM

Marriage isn't everything. My fiancé and I are having our wedding in November and we've been together for three years, we have a 7 month old baby girl and I know if we were not to be pregnant he would have been sad too. :(
A baby brings joy, and even married couples get divorced. As long as the bond and love is strong and you know nothing could ever break it, go for it.
I would never have stayed with my partner if I knew he didn't want to get married. Thankfully he does. Good luck!