What should I do about her?

clueless_guy_2007 · May 20, 2007, 06:10 PM

Yea there's this girl that I've known for a few years and just didn't know her all that well and now I've gotten to know her and found out she's... completely amazing. We have all the same intrests and we flirt back and forth and whatnot. But there's one problem.. she has a boyfriend. She has been dating the dude off and on for 3 years . She asks me to hang out with her when he's not around but can't do anything when he's around. But what should I do about it because it seems she likes me too and just doent know what to do

Paola_17 · May 20, 2007, 06:12 PM

well first off u should ask if she likes u too b4 u make a fool of yourself...

talaniman · May 20, 2007, 06:56 PM

Go get your own female to hang with and leave her alone. If it has to be a secret, is it worth the drama? Don't fall for a female you know you can't have.

emopunk7 · May 21, 2007, 10:23 AM

First find out if they are off right now. If so, ask if she likes you. Then take it from there. If at the moment, they are together, MAKE SURE YOU DO WHAT TALANIMAN SAID!

GERRR · May 21, 2007, 10:55 AM

You really do need to ask her if she likes you... you need to no if she like you, and she needs to no if you like her. Trust me! My sisters boyfriends friend like me, and I didn't no it, and we were all sitting around trying to figure out what color the book was, and when he agreed with me, my sister said "you only said that because you like her."
An I was like " EWWW" and he kind of gave me this hurt look. So you need to get your fellings out in the open, and I no its hard, but just do it! It might just work out! :)

talaniman · May 21, 2007, 11:40 AM

Most times a female with a boyfriend, who hangs out with you in secret, is trying to get you to cheat with her, so stay away from other people's drama. If she liked you, and wanted to be with you, she would lose the boyfriend, and leave you a clear field. You are getting played to be her thing on the side, as a place to go when she is through with the current guy. Leave her and her private agenda alone.

clueless_guy_2007 · May 21, 2007, 06:55 PM

Ty ill just hang back and wait till he pisses her off again and they break up then maybe see what goes on...

Stunning07 · May 21, 2007, 09:39 PM

Doooooo I smeeeelllllll I reeeeeeabounnnnnnnnnnd?

clueless_guy_2007 · May 21, 2007, 11:21 PM

Is that a bad thing?

Skell · May 21, 2007, 11:23 PM

Yes it is a bad thing.

Stay away from her. Sounds like bad news to me.

At least wait until you know for sure that this other guy is out of the picture. Even then I would have trouble trusting her.

There are plenty more women out there. Why waste time on one that is already taken?

clueless_guy_2007 · May 21, 2007, 11:34 PM

I know there are plenty of women out there.. I can't help it that I fell for one that already has a boyfriend so I might as well see what I can do I don't know that's why I'm here in the first place

Skell · May 21, 2007, 11:38 PM

You can't do anything if she is with another guy. Simple as that.

And you have to ask yourself that IF she ever decided to pursue things with you, would she hang out with another guy as much as she hangs out with you? It is a possibility. She has a record of it. Would you like that?

clueless_guy_2007 · May 22, 2007, 04:52 AM

It would bother me but I'm not going to be some control freak. But its not like I'm the one calling her she calls me to hang out. So apparently she wants me around for something. And now she asks if something's wrong if I don't call her back or answer. Kind of weird I tried the back off thing and that happened

talaniman · May 22, 2007, 06:11 AM

Have you ever just asked about the b/f, and if she has one, why is she calling you, not him. Listen to her answer, but please don't fall for the charm, or raise false hope, that will have her in control.

Stunning07 · May 22, 2007, 12:14 PM

I know a lot of people also I HAVE been through the same thing your going through, even though this girl will start liking you and her and her boyfiriend are prob going through some prob. she will claim that she likes you do to, infactuation, just because its prob something new to her, and she's prob curious, but after a while she will most likely start to miss her boyfriend of three years, " three years is along time" basically they prob been through so much, enough for her to miss him and go back to him, and mess it up for you and that guy, it does't sound real cleaver to fall for her try to keep your distance

Sdjosh · May 22, 2007, 12:23 PM

Lets look at the facts.

-She has a boyfriend.

-You are her FRIEND.

That is all you need to know right now. If she does break up with him... do you really want to be with someone who has 3 years worth of emotions to sort through? It would be an emotional roller coaster for you. Be her friend and nothing else. It will do you better in the long run.

One more thought. Some girls are better friends with guys than with other girls. They can hang out and just be friends and nothing more with other guy friends. Could this be the case in your situation?

clueless_guy_2007 · May 29, 2007, 12:52 PM

Yea I told her that I can't hang out with her since her boyfriend don't want her to... she kind of got upset and stuff but its all good I guess you guys are right... kinda sucks but ill get over it LOL

EDAF · May 29, 2007, 01:58 PM

Hey are you really a man? I don't think so... if you were a man you wouldn't go with here when she is taking... were was your mind

alanalov · May 29, 2007, 07:30 PM

She seems to be stuck in that relationship.

Stick around! Be friends with her. There's nothing wrong with that but this is all you can do for now. This might turn into something else someday...

deedee06 · May 29, 2007, 07:42 PM

I really don't agree with the comments saying to leave her alone.

There is a possibility that she is on and off with this guy because she is afraid of change. If this is the case then you have a good chance with her. Next time they are "off" ask her about what happened and talk about it. Let her know you are there for her. And if she gets back together with him and suddenly stops calling you, then confront her about it. Tell her you don't just want to be a convenient friend. If the behavior continues then she probably is just using you for comfort. If she changes though, I would interpret that as a sign that she cares about you and wants you to stick by her.

Eventually, you are going to have to tell her how you feel. But be sure that you are calling her to hang out and PAY for her. Treat it like a date (without the sex... lol) and maybe she will take the hint.

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