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hgcraig · May 18, 2007, 04:43 PM

I have a 15yr old daughter and she is in the 9th grade. She hates me because I said "No" to her on meeting up with a guy friend at the movies. I already caught her leaving the movies once before and get into a car with 2 guys. Never saw the movie and we were out $20.00. What is the age of teenagers today that start to date? I do not think she is mature enough to start dating.

Fr_Chuck · May 18, 2007, 04:53 PM

She would be old enough if mature enough, but her lying, and sneaking out with 2 guys would be grounds to not let her until she is more mature

J_9 · May 18, 2007, 05:45 PM

I have to agree with chuck here. I was 16 before I could date that was, ummmm, almost 30 years ago. Teens have matured since then. So in essence she SHOULD be allowed to date. However, she lied, she broke your trust, so she should not go anywhere without a chaperone. If that embarrasses her, sorry, she should have done what she was supposed to in the beginning.

rosepedal · May 19, 2007, 04:35 PM

I was one of those girls that wasn't allowed to date and I got into a relationship when I was 15 that lasted 2 1/2 years (horrible relationship). I thought I knew best and I was wrong. My dad had good intentions but he should have talked with me about what was right in relationships unstead of just saying no, end of discussion.
I think girls are probably old enough to date at 15 but they probably need to be dropped off at the date and picked up directly afterwards. I have a 5year old girl and 7year old son and I don't know if I will have the guts to talk about dating when it comes down to it, but I pray that I will I know it would have made the world of difference. At that age girls can be very impressionable and will date whether you want them to. If its behind your back it will probably be the wrong kind of guy.

aries_star · Jul 4, 2007, 07:41 AM

I'm an 18yr old girl and I would like to share my view on this. My parents never stopped me from dating they trusted me to know what was sensible at my age. They taught me right from wrong and they put trust in me. My first boyfriend was went I was 14 but I didn't last long because I was too young. My first real boyfriend was at 16 and we're still together now and just bought our first house. She seems determined to meet guys even if she's not surpose to. I'm not a parent but my advise would be not to stop her, but get involved. Ask her about the guys maybe invite them over and get to know them. That might put your mind at rest. All I know is that kids are more likely to do things when their parents say no.
Hope this helps.

vball43 · Jul 4, 2007, 07:46 AM

Thirteen.

Krs · Jul 4, 2007, 07:49 AM

Thing is the more to stop and say NO to teenagers the more they rebel against you, that's almost a fact, any teenager and who was a teeneager can vow for that!

Going to the movies with a guy, isn't such a bad thing.
Drop them off and pick them up to make sure they have actually been to the movies.

SoonToBeMumOf5 · Jul 4, 2007, 05:24 PM

She's old enough... she's annoyed at you as you said no and she's being a rebel and breaking rules

Shaunta · Jul 4, 2007, 08:08 PM

Well Im 21... I Didn't Start To Date Til I Was Out Of Highschool(18)... I Thank My Mother For That... if I Was Able To Do What I Wanted Which Was Hang Out And Date I Wouldn't Have Made It Out... when She Is Mature Enough And Is Able To Tell You The Truth Then She Should Be Able To Date... is She Getting Good Grades In School? Is She Overall A Good Child?

trevordog · Jul 4, 2007, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by hgcraig

I have a 15yr old daughter and she is in the 9th grade. She hates me because I said "No" to her on meeting up with a guy friend at the movies. I already caught her leaving the movies once before and get into a car with 2 guys. Never saw the movie and we were out $20.00. What is the age of teenagers today that start to date? I do not think she is mature enough to start dating.

OK well ummm I think if the kid is takeing dating seriously then it should be OK but if all there after is sex then NO ITS NOT OK FOR THEM TO DATE but ummm like you should have let her go because if she did do something bad then she would have felt bad and never do it again but I don't know the parents call the shots don't we

Skrypt · Jul 10, 2007, 05:55 AM

You just told her upfront no. Sound fair? No explanation, no talk, no nothing. Expect rebellion.

Also you should have a good feel on how mature your daughter is. Treat her fairly for good results. Don't be a pushover though.

L-001-06-H · Jul 15, 2007, 09:50 AM

Whenver they're mature enough to be able to handle it... and 'dating' ideals are different depending on maturity... the avarage (using age to get a general idea of maturity) 13 year old goes to the movies, talks, laughs, flirts a little, mabe a hug or kiss (usually no toung) and goes home... it's a fun little thing to do. For someoen who's 20, it might be dinner, whatever, talking seriously, have a good time, usually allot more serious, and it's less of a social interaction, more about the two people.

Doesn't matter, as long as she's only going to have the type of 'date' that she's ready for, as long as she doesn't let anyone else control what happens. If that made sense...

mikezapwnzor · Jul 25, 2007, 12:36 PM

A lot of kids around here start dating (or "going out") at 6th grade... I'm pretty sure its just the movies and maybe a hug and a kiss here and there, but its obviously different than 18 year old having sex and making out in their spare time, not just talking. It really depends on the society around there and what they all do at different ages. If they're just hugging every day and talking on the phone and maybe seeing a few movies together its nothing. If they're trying to be more grown up and doing more sexual thing then keep a close watch on them, and if you do decide to say no then at least have a talk and give a good / logical reason. If you don't expect revenge, and revenge can be worse.

Depressed in MO · Jul 25, 2007, 01:20 PM

When it comes to daughters, this is what I would do from the start as far as compromising goes:

Daughter comes and says "Mom, I would like to go out on a date with so-and-so".
Find out as many details from your daughter about this guy as you can. Invite him over for dinner first-get to know him. When his parent(s)/guardian(s) drop him off, chat with them, get to know them a little (or a lot if you can).

After this, the next time daughter approaches mom and says "Mom, I'd like to go out on a date with so and so". Have him come over again, this time maybe for a movie.
While I wouldn't leave the two completely alone in a room (living room) to watch a movie, I would maybe hang out in the kitchen or somewhere close by where you can hear what is going on or maybe peek in to see how things are going every now and then."

After a few times of meeting the boyfriend, then I would (depending on how things have gone during the first few meetings)drop them off/pick them up at the movies or to dinner.

As discomforting as this still may seem, if they are wanting to go see a movie, maybe you could go with them, but see a different show that starts around the same time, having them meet you in the front lobby (or some specific destination)whenever your movies over. I would recommend the last suggestion I have provided to this poster's specific question since the daughter has already snuck around. I think usually 15 would be all right for a young woman to date-but there has to be trust and compromise in order for it to work. You may have better communication and trust with her if you try giving her a chance.

nicespringgirl · Jul 25, 2007, 01:33 PM

I haven't started and I am now almost 23,
U build better academic and career foundation that way.
I never regret about not being dating, that helps me focus on being independent and strong.
I know this post will be alone here, but I hope this will give you something to think about.

juliepann · Jul 26, 2007, 04:54 PM

Hi! I also have a 15 year old daughter in the ninth grade and she is very mature for her age. I have started letting her date. But my definition of a date at her age is having a parent with them all the time. The only time she doesn't have a parent around is when they go with other teens as a group. I think it all depends on her maturity level. Until my daughter breaks my trust,I will continue to give her the freedom of dating her boyfriend as long as there is parental supervision. I don't know if you would consider this a date! Oh and I won't leave her at the movies alone with him. Its too much temptation being in the dark , alone with a boy. Its not fair to put her or him in that position.

proudmommyoftwingirls · Jul 26, 2007, 06:37 PM

Originally Posted by hgcraig

I have a 15yr old daughter and she is in the 9th grade. She hates me because I said "No" to her on meeting up with a guy friend at the movies. I already caught her leaving the movies once before and get into a car with 2 guys. Never saw the movie and we were out $20.00. What is the age of teenagers today that start to date? I do not think she is mature enough to start dating.

If it's a group like send an older couple you trust on a double date or group date other than that I think 16 is a good age if you can trust your daughter just make sure you know the guy really well