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amanda762 · May 18, 2007, 09:41 AM

I have sole custody of my 6 year old daughter there was a court order for visitations by father as agreed upon by both parties. He has not tried to make any contact in 2 years. But I have also moved a few times. I could not get ahold of him to tell him because I didn't know where he was. I did know he left for another state. He is now taking me to court wanting visitation saying that I would not let him see her or talk to her. Even though he didn't try to am I in jeopardy of being in trouble?:confused:

tawnynkids · May 18, 2007, 10:17 AM

Need a bit more information:
Is he taking you to court for contempt or to establish a more clearly defined visitation schedule? "as mutually agreed upon by the parties" is very vague and if he only taking you to court to define that in specifics, you probably won't get in trouble, other than hearing you two need to communicate better and keep each other informed. It is also important to know if the state you are in orders mediation in custody disputes, do you know if yours does?

Fr_Chuck · May 18, 2007, 10:39 AM

No you will not get into trouble, he is merely wanting to see the child. Did he call you and ask to see the child and did you say no? Or did he have to go though the court to find you ?

But if you merely agree to let him visit according to the visistion agreement in place, most likely he will just drop his motion, unless he is wanting visitation changed. You merely go say, he was never refused visits, he has not visited, and ask for supervised visits to start while the child gets used to him again.

And if he is not paying support you file a complaint to have the support demanded.

tawnynkids · May 18, 2007, 11:02 AM

Now I will have to respectfully disagree with you Fr_ as I had this same issue in court. It was my word against his and he was believed. Now the outcome of my case can not be used as a reason to say yes you will get in trouble because like all cases there were a lot of other factors. But you should be aware that it can affect a case, wherein that it can be a contributing factor to an overall picture. If that is all he has "against" you then I agree with Fr_ your not likely to get in any trouble other than as I stated above, which is a slap on the hand and a lecture usually aimed at both parents.

Fr_Chuck · May 18, 2007, 11:26 AM

Yes but what type of "trouble" do you get into in famioy court, they don't send you to jail, the judge gives you a lecture on proper behavior, I have never seen a family court judge do contempt of court unless they have had you in court a several times on same issue.

tawnynkids · May 18, 2007, 11:36 AM

As I stated the "trouble" you can get into is that it can affect your case, causing a negative outcome. Again, as I stated that would depend on all of the circumstances of the case however, not just that in and of itself. My point is that a blanket "no you will not get in any trouble" is too general without knowing everything about the case.

truthful · May 20, 2007, 03:13 PM

Sorry to hear you're going through a similar ordeal as I am. So far in my court "episodes", the judge requires some form of proof. For instance, my ex has not attempted any contact in 10 years, and in your case 2 years. The first question one might ask themselves is if in fact this fellow was denied access, then why did this guy not go to the courthouse when you denied access, and if not then, why not a month later, or the next month? Is that how bad these guys want to see their children? They wait YEARS! It is your word against his, but does he have any prior court records with an attempt to secure his access, since it was denied? Probably not. Therefore, there was no attempt. And there's your proof. So you've moved a few times, he was out of the picture. Did your parents reside at the same residence? He probably knew their phone number if he WANTED to see his child. Did he? Probably not. There's your proof. If I've learned one thing from people such as this, it is to hold your head up high, and think positive. I wish you the best of luck! Take care!!

amanda762 · May 21, 2007, 07:28 PM

Thanks for such great advice... I was starting to think I didn't have much hope but you gave me some good advice that I will def. use... thanks you so much!! :D

brandy681 · May 21, 2007, 08:08 PM

I knew someone with a similar situation. You were suppose to tell your husband when you move or you can get in trouble and you were NOT suppose to move at all. Even if you could not find your husband, it does not make any difference because it is almost like kidnapping and you have to realize that he will have to be apart of your kids life. I am not sure what is going to happen but you made the wrong choices!

brandy681 · May 21, 2007, 08:10 PM

I know that you said that he never tried to contact you but you have to prove that... and you have to prove that you left him contact information and an address etc and I hope you did not move far because you really can get in trouble..

amanda762 · May 21, 2007, 08:22 PM

We where never married and I didn't move far. He knew I was was going to be moving but never cared to find out where I had decided to go. I told him I was going to be moving the first time and I was looking for another place after that he did not make any contact. Then I heard he was in Florida somewhere and he never told me where I didn't even know he was gone. But apperently he is back because he is using his old address. And I did some reserch and the house he used as an address is being auctioned off I a week for back taxes so again I will not know where he is... nor do I now, for all I know he is at a flop house just using the old address seeing that the bank seesed the proporty in 2005.