Check out some similar questions!

enigmagnetic · Oct 12, 2007, 08:13 PM

Good luck but I will warn you, Never Say Never.

Sdjosh · Oct 12, 2007, 08:15 PM

Originally Posted by enigmagnetic

Nice bike by the way.

Thanks... its one of 3 I have. That's my race bike and I have another project race bike and a street bike.

Sdjosh · Oct 15, 2007, 10:08 AM

Well... she left this morning. I miss her but I know that in time it will fade some. I'm a little lost for feelings right now. So much has happened in the last week that she was here. Feels like it was all a huge moment that marks a turning point in my life.

Sdjosh · Oct 18, 2007, 10:35 PM

Its been been 4 days since she left... her smell is still on the pillow. I can't stop the tears...

Diamondstar03 · Oct 19, 2007, 07:51 AM

I know the feeling man, it hurts to now end. I hope you are able to take your mind off it. I tell you what, your bike looks cool. GSXR!! I ride a CBR 1000rr myself. I have not been on the track since the mid 90's when I rode a CBR 600 f3. Those were fun times.

kuulski · Oct 19, 2007, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by Sdjosh

Its been been 4 days since she left....her smell is still on the pillow. I can't stop the tears...

I feel your pain it has been 2 months and I still have my moments where my heart aches

For her. It's the worst feeling in the world to me. Think about the good times

The laughs the great things that you loved. That's what I do and it helps me Smile

And be glad that I am able to stand up and be who she loved when she first met me.

Maybe it will work maybe not but I am starting to get excited wondering who will be

Next? Will it be The One? Will she come back? Its all possible but love you first.

To me that is the thing I have learned that you have to love YOU!

Sdjosh · Oct 19, 2007, 09:15 AM

Thanks for the support. I guess everyone is entitled to some weakness every now and then. Last night I was going through some old stuff in the attic and I ran across some letters we sent. Such wonderful memories of all the love we had and all the hurtles we overcame. All those promised words of love and forever. Guess it was just hard for me to handle.

But I know that time is the key here. Ive been doing all the things I need to do but I just need time. Ive already made plans to hang out with some friends and even have some girls that are interested in me. But I'm not rushing into anything. I don't want a relationship or anything like that right now. I don't have anything inside to give right now. My heart is still not my own yet. So I just want to laugh and have fun... with no ties... commitments... stress... drama. I just want to be me and be happy with that.

Diamondstar... you should go back to the track. Where you live? I could recommend some good trackday organizations on the west coast to ride with.

kuulski · Oct 19, 2007, 09:21 AM

Originally Posted by Sdjosh

Thanks for the support. I guess everyone is entitled to some weakness every now and then. Last night i was going through some old stuff in the attic and i ran across some letters we sent. Such wonderful memories of all the love we had and all the hurtles we overcame. All those promised words of love and forever. Guess it was just hard for me to handle.

But I know that time is the key here. Ive been doing all the things i need to do but I just need time. Ive already made plans to hang out with some friends and even have some girls that are interested in me. But im not rushing into anything. I don't want a relationship or anything like that right now. I don't have anything inside to give right now. My heart is still not my own yet. So I just want to laugh and have fun...with no ties...commitments...stress...drama. I just want to be me and be happy with that.

Diamondstar...you should go back to the track. Where you live? I could recommend some good trackday organizations on the west coast to ride with.

Yea I COMPLETELY understand I also don't feel I have anything to give anyone. I don't think there is anything wrong with Optimism. I do sometimes wonder if it can work. Allot of people including some in the thread I made though Timing was bad. I agree but at the same time there were issues that me being who I am I work through issues I don't like break ups and all that. I still think she is a wonderful women and know that 1 day we will be friends again. The things I miss most right now are her companionship the early morning text messages the talking about work issues etc.. But I realized I have to love me FIRST I have to realize who I am I started to Identify me With US and that is something that can cause so much heartache if there is a breakup. Good Luck! :>)

Sdjosh · Oct 19, 2007, 11:53 AM

I hear you man. I miss her too. Her and I are still friends but right now we can't really communicate that well. Just need to wait till the emotional dust settles.

Sdjosh · Oct 25, 2007, 02:00 PM

Well... Got a call on Monday night to go hang at my friend Becky's house for some drinks and conversation. While I was there I met someone named (lets call her) Jane. We talked for a second but she had to leave so she could get some rest for work the next day.

Next day I meet the same group of friends to hang out at the beach. Had a great time just chilling in the sun. We car pooled to the beach so... when it comes time to leave I ended up riding with the Jane. We went to her house real quick so she could change clothes. I just waited out in the living room with her roommates talking. While we were in the car we flirted back and forth... We go back to Becky's for some drinks and food. Later in the night I'm taking some things out to my car and when I was walking back to becky's apartment... Jane was leaning over the balcony looking down at me with a big smile. She asked me what I was doing... so I told her. Then she asked me if I wanted to come back to her place. I said yes. We told everyone we were leaving. They knew without us saying anything that we were leaving together. As we were walking to our cars I said, "hold up." She turned around and I pulled her close and kissed her. She kissed me back. We stood there for 5 minutes out in the street kissing.

We went back to her place about 730pm. Just so everyone knows... we didn't have sex. But we talked and kissed almost the whole night. We both couldn't stop smiling. She looked at me in a way I haven't been looked at in a long time. And I couldn't stop looking at her. There was just some sort of connection... vibe... attraction.

She packed a small bag and left for work and I went home to catch a nap. About 5 hours later she walked into my room at my house and cuddles up in the bed with me. We spent the rest of the day talking... and kissing. We tried to watch TV and 2 movies but we just couldn't get into them. We couldn't take our eyes off each other. We stayed up half the night again talking and kissing till we both fell asleep.

Its amazing though. I have had more intimacy with Jane in the last 48 hours I have know her than I did in the last 7 years with my ex.

She woke up this morning with me and watched me get dressed... she stood up on the bed and pulled me close so she could kiss me. She made me about 20 minutes late for work (not that anyone noticed) but I didn't care haha...

She asked me to come over tonight for some Beer pong with her friends... and to spend the night.

Funny how things happen when you aren't looking.

All my friends at work asked why I was smiling and in a good mood. They haven't seen me smile like this ever. After much teasing and comments I finally told them and of course... I got teased some more. But I don't care. Im just enjoying it for what it is. Letting what ever happen, happen.

kuulski · Oct 25, 2007, 02:56 PM

Wow sounds like somebody is boosting your ego lol J/K I am sure I don't have to mention to take it slow. :>) Glad to hear this will definitley help you re-establish your MOjo lol.
I myself haven't met anyone really haven't had the desire to go beyond the phone thing. I have several women that call me but I really have no interest. Some people say I am holding on I say I am focusing on me. :>)

Sdjosh · Oct 29, 2007, 02:25 PM

Updates.

Everything is going great. Just great. Too much has been happening to explain it all but I've made some awesome new friends that are into most things I'm into. We have such a blast hanging out... and The girl I'm seeing is apart of that group of friends. Her roommates love me and approve. (as they are over protective) My friends think she is awesome. She fits into my life... personality... attitude... socially... we meet on so many levels it weird. We click...

kuulski · Oct 29, 2007, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by Sdjosh

updates.

Everything is going great. Just great. Too much has been happening to explain it all but ive made some awesome new friends that are into most things im into. We have such a blast hanging out...and The girl im seeing is apart of that group of friends. Her roommates love me and approve. (as they are over protective) My friends think she is awesome. She fits into my life....personality....attitude....socially....we meet on so many levels it weird. We click...

Wow that sounds great! Not a rebound? Hope Not only you know. Be very careful homie :>) don't want you back on here saying it was a rebound lol... hell it happens... I had a rebound on both sides of the scope one hurts and one is confusing both are part of life. Good Luck!

Sdjosh · Oct 29, 2007, 02:36 PM

Originally Posted by kuulski

Wow that sounds great! Not a rebound? Hope Not only you know. Be very careful homie :>) dont want you back on here saying it was a rebound lol...hell it happens...I had a rebound on both sides of the scope one hurts and one is confusing both are part of life. Good Luck!

Nope... not a rebound. We are just going with the flow. We enjoy each others company and time. We laugh and talk all the time we are together. We are dating but not in the traditional sense. We don't plan dates. We hang out with our friends and have so much fun. We do swap spending nights at each others house. Staying the night. We just have fun though. No expectations... not preconceived notions or lies. We keep everything honest upfront and we communicate what we think... how we feel... what we want. Which is great to have.

kuulski · Oct 29, 2007, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by Sdjosh

Nope...not a rebound. We are just going with the flow. We enjoy each others company and time. We laugh and talk all the time we are together. We are dating but not in the traditional sense. We don't plan dates. We hang out with our friends and have so much fun. We do swap spending nights at each others house. Staying the night. We just have fun though. No expectations...not preconceived notions or lies. We keep everything honest upfront and we communicate what we think...how we feel...what we want. Which is great to have.

Sounds great does she have any friends ? Lol

Great To Hear!

Good Luck!

Sdjosh · Oct 29, 2007, 02:41 PM

Originally Posted by kuulski

Sounds great does she have any friends ? lol

Great To Hear!

Good Luck!

Haha... funny that you say that. She does! They are great.

Sdjosh · Dec 25, 2007, 11:39 PM

Well... here is a current update. Ive stopped seeing the one girl. We were really close for a month then we just spit. We are still friends and talk. Since then I have been hanging out with a few different circles of friends and enjoying just being myself. I have been casually seeing one woman but I keep her at arms length. I know that I am not in a place where I can have a relationship with someone. We do however like to hang out. I think she has feelings towards me. I'm going to have to explain to her my situation in more depth. I don't want to lead her on or anything like that.

Im spending xmas with the ex of 7 years and her family. It's a little hard but I have been able to keep my emotions in check. Nothing that I can do anyway that would ever make a difference to my ex. We can't ever be more than friends...

I figure this will be the last time I get to hang with her and the family. She will be introducing her new love to her family soon and I will no longer feel comfortable being part of there life.

Its been a long road the last couple of months. I've been on a crazy rollercoaster. But now I'm in a place where I feel completely numb. I don't feel too much when it comes to emotions. I know its just a phase. I was in a relationship with the woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with and it all went away.

It was hard for us. She even said I was perfect... I was just not the right gender. That's right. The woman I loved for 7 years finally decided that she could no longer lie to herself about being a lesbian.

talaniman · Dec 26, 2007, 07:55 AM

Your doing okay after swallowing a hard pill. You realise you need time, so your way ahead of the game. You don't have anything to be ashamed of so enjoy being single. Just hanging out is great.

emopunk7 · Dec 26, 2007, 11:27 AM

Why did you stop talking to the new girl? I don't get it... You seemed so happy.

Sdjosh · Dec 28, 2007, 05:22 PM

The one girl and I had a great time. But she also just got out of a 6 year marriage. We became really intense... really fast. We literally spent 2 weeks together. One week of staying night and day with each other. But we realized that we both were not ready for that. Way too much to soon. I freaked but took it easy... she really freaked and pulled away hard. No worries. We still hang out and talk almost daily. She is a cool friend. I wouldn't mind something happening with her in the future when the time is right.

On the other hand I do hang with the one girl... lets call her Nina. She is cool but I keep her at arms length. I feel she would get hurt because she seems ready for something long term. I am also hanging with another girl... lets call her Maria. She is cool but she is still getting over her last relationship from a year ago. But we have fun.

Then there is this other girl... Masako... who is really cool and interested. I know because she kissed me. I would like to spend more time with her but we haven't had a chance to hang out. Not to worried though.

I kind of feel like I may be making my life too complicated with all these girls. I think I may just take a step back and let things flow. Just do my thing.