[Sad Soul]

I would say that this has all been a very rough and hard test in life…and you have definitely passed! You actually seem to have done better than most people would, and your positive/strong aura can really be sensed through your posts.

I think we usually don't see how strong we are in life when everything is running smoothly, but we do see how strong we are when everything is “messed up” and there are “confusing” situations. These low or difficult times in life are when we can truly measure our strength, see if we can take care of ourselves, and show the world what we are made of.

If there is anything you got out of this relationship, or if there is anything you are continuously showing to the world, it's that you are a man built to survive. I would say it's not your girlfriend who's been somethin' else this whole time, but that it's truly been you who is somethin' else. You're so, for lack of better words, damn unique.

[talaniman]

Sad Soul is so right SD, Life throws us curves all the time and how we handle it is what makes us who we are. I think you have handled this situation very well.

[Sdjosh]

I appreciate all the advice I have been given on this board. I could look at this several ways. I could have cut ties with her when she first left a year ago and saved myself some heart ache. But I knew in my heart that I could not walk away with out giving it everything I have. And that was why I could walk away with my head held high. I have very few regrets about anything.

The last year if anything has been a gift to me. I've learned more about myself than I have in a long time. The last year was also filled with so many wonderful moments between her and I. So much fun, laughter, excitement, and tears. I have wonderful memories to look back on...

Like they say, everything happens for a reason. I don't know if I believe in God but I know I have been given enough common sense to believe in myself. I'll find my way and I'll be stronger than ever. I'm just going to take is slow for awhile... Cuz.. life is a journey, not a destination you know.

[mckenzie134]

SDJOSH you can come on here and say what you like about how you are stronger and I hop for you that you are...

You bdont want to tell us the full story that is fine. If I believe right your ex is not seeing anyone. From what I have red and I have looked right back opver this post. Your ex will be back as soon as you get some balls and get your life in order. She doesn't want to be with you cause you are a

She is only still talking to you cause you were such a big part of her life well FOR GOD SAKE get out of her life. This has gone on for way to long way way to long

All this girl wants and needs is to regain the feelings she once felt for you... This can be done

Geez mate your still a chance here and you keep stuffing up...

You can't move on and you can't get her cback cause your STUCK!! Thsta right you need to totally disappear for a month and she will be back with a new lease on life and ready to have you back in her life!! There has been no VOID created here as you two have stayed in contct!!

Do yourself a favour and totally disappear from this girls life.

[talaniman]

A little unfair without the whole story, Mac. Why not just ask before you call names?

[Sdjosh]

Mac... I really wanted to tackle your post and just rip it apart. But I realized that you don't know the whole story. Which affects things greatly. Looking back at my posts... one could come to the same conclusion as you did too.

So I understand where you are coming from. But right now, disappearing from her life would get me nothing except the loss of a friend that needs the comfort of a long time friend to see her through her troubled times.

Sure... maybe I look like a jackass for sticking around. But she is my friend and I don't abandon my friends. Just to clarify, I hold no delusions of grandeur that her and I will be back together. I know that isn't going to happen.

[samesame]

Sorry to hear about this Sdjosh, a lot of us were rooting for you here. Mac may come off a little agreesive but there is some truth to what he says... even without the full story. What if you hadn't stuck around for the last year like you did? How do you think things would be different now? Also, you say you don't abandon your friends, and I respect that fully, but when the end of a relationship comes, there are no friends. That's just an illusion brought by memories or a reluctance to let something you love go. Honestly, what happens when she moves on? Think you can be friends when she has some other guy in her life? Unless, her circumstances revolve around life or death (in other words she is sick or abandoned somewhere), she has other friends in people in her life to rely on.

[Sdjosh]

Sorry to hear about this Sdjosh, a lot of us were rooting for you here. Mac may come off a little agreesive but there is some truth to what he says...even without the full story. What if you hadn't stuck around for the last year like you did? how do you think things would be different now? Also, you say you don't abandon your friends, and i respect that fully, but when the end of a relationship comes, there are no friends. That's just an illusion brought by memories or a reluctance to let something you love go. honestly, what happens when she moves on? Think you can be friends when she has some other guy in her life? Unless, her circumstances revolve around life or death (in other words she is sick or abandoned somewhere), she has other friends in people in her life to rely on.

What if I hadn't stuck around for this last year? Things would still be the same as they are now except I would have missed out on all those good times we had. Nothing I could have done in the last year would have changed anything.

As for being friends. Who knows... I don't really know what is going to happen or if it is the right thing to do. And yes there are mixed feelings there. Yes we still love each other as friends. Yes a part of me is still in love with the her she used to be. But I want to make it clear to everyone here that I am not holding on to the friendship for hope. I know we aren't going to work it out or try to get back together. That part is done and over with. I am moving on.

I'm sure Tal would agree with me on some of this... as he knows the whole story.

[smoothy]

Every couple has minor disagreements. What they don't have is this sort of drama. There are plenty of women that aren't such drama queens. No reason to get stuck with one that is.

[Sdjosh]

If anything she is anti-drama. There is no drama for us. It was a peaceful separation. We both tried and we just don't fit. Simple as that.

Her and I haven't been in a actual committed relationship for over a year. Yes we had intentions of working it out but it didn't. Oh well... no hard feelings.

But we do however enjoy each others company as friends. We laugh, hang out, drink, and just have fun without the drama of a relationship.

That's the side I would like to keep. I wish her all the happiness in the world and hope she finds someone that does fit her because I will do the same.

[talaniman]

we just don't fit. Simple as that.

Sometimes it as simple as that! They just didn't fit!! No fault on anybody.

[Sdjosh]

Exactly. But does that mean we can't be friends. I think not. We fit good together that way. So why not make the best of it.

[smoothy]

Exactly. But does that mean we can't be friends. I think not. We fit good together that way. So why not make the best of it.

If you plan to cling on to something that can't be from her actions then by all means be a friend... but that is really just a thinly veiled false hope she will come back, and not a friendship.

She made it clear, the healthiest thing to do is take the hint and find other friends and a new girlfriend. And forget this one. Many of us have been there before. You can choose to benefit from our hard learned lessons or suffer through them like we did and waste months if not years of your life.

[Sdjosh]

If you plan to cling on to something that can't be from her actions then by all means be a friend....but that is really just a thinly veiled false hope she will come back, and not a friendship.

She made it clear, the healthiest thing to do is take the hint and find other friends and a new girlfriend. And forget this one. Many of us have been there before. You can choose to benefit from our hard learned lessons or suffer through them like we did and waste months if not years of your life.

Just as a reminder... so everyone knows.

But I want to make it clear to everyone here that I am not holding on to the friendship for hope. I know we aren't going to work it out or try to get back together. That part is done and over with. I am moving on.

Im not delusional. I repeat myself AGAIN... I'm not holding out hope here folks. I'm not trying to win her back. I'm not spouting love songs and hoping to snag her heart. It is over and done. Friendship is the best we can hope for.

[Sdjosh]

Little Update to the situation.

Im doing good. I have been hanging with my friends... going to the gym... and working on my hobbies. I've been making it a point to get in touch with old friends and make plans to hang out. It is amazing how many friends have come out of the woodwork and back into my life. I feel like I'm moving forward slowly but still lost as to what I want for my future.

Been thinking a lot about getting my certifications to become a personal trainer at the gym. I really enjoy helping people feel better about themselves and I love the gym... so why not. It wouldn't be a career change but more of a side gig that I would enjoy and could meet people.

She is still coming up but on Tuesday instead of Friday. Which actually works for me as I can now go ahead with my plans. Im heading up to Las Vegas to do some road racing on the motorcycle. I'm so excited. It has to be my biggest passion in life.

Here is a picture of me on the Yellow bike.

[Sdjosh]

Update.

She is down here staying with me. She came to make sure I was OK. Its been hard for both of us. We have both said things that have hurt. So many feelings. So much hurt but we have managed to work through it.

We both have no regrets about the last 7 years or how it turned out. After all that we have been through... she is still my friend.

I can honestly say that... IF I knew how it would end before it started, I would have done it anyway. I have learned so much about myself and about the world.

[enigmagnetic]

Never, never!! Let a woman see you cry. Ever ever ever.

[Sdjosh]

We both did. It's a hard situation. But it doesn't matter. She is my friend and we can never be anything more. Which I am fine with.

[enigmagnetic]

We both did. Its a hard situation. But it doesn't matter. She is my friend and we can never be anything more. Which i am fine with.

As long as you can accept that then you'll be OK. If you're going to open up that much you have to anticipate she may just keep you as a friend. In the long run it may turn out she yearns for you because she is so connected to you but you're taking the long and less traveled path. I would even recommend severing ties. That would make her realize how great you are to her. You seem like a nice guy man, and being around so available all the time only lets her feel like she can wait as long as she likes. Nice bike by the way.

[Sdjosh]

I appreciate the positive advice but... she and I can never be. She will always be my friend. Nothing I could ever do would bring us back together. The path we are on... she can never come back to me. We support each other in moving on.