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mckenzie134 · May 16, 2007, 08:18 PM

I found this site two months ago and started posting of my situation, I was devastated and really although I received so much advice I still did all the things I should not have been doing...

Chasing and trying to stay friends so I could get back in for 2 months what a waste of time.

She needed a break after 3 1/2 years and I didn't give it.

I have learnt on here that most girls already have a guy lined up when they want a break well my girlfriend didn't have anyone lined up.

She is very attractive but just believes you should start a relationship fresh and should not go into one from another you should be single for a while and learn about yourself and then let someone in your life.

Well I see where I went wrong must not have thought too much about this as I became paranoid when she left and said I wanted a break had no idea what to do but try and get her back. When there was no other guy and still isn't. But anyway now I have not spoken to her for a week and have gone my own way.

Ive learnt so much here and also gained some wise advice which I must say I knew quite a bit before I came here but even though I knew what I should be doing when I was put on the break my heart took over instead of my head which had guided me for years.

I know now exactly what should have been done and well I think Its not what should be done when you break up but more what you should be doing in the relationship...

Anyway Ive come here today to say Ive enjoyed my 2 months on here but its time for me to let it go!!

I love posting for other people and believe the advice I give to them is totally the correct thing to do and only wish I could take my own.

For all those people getting dumped out there just remember if they want a break ask no questions walk away if they are still keen they will be back!!

Enjoy your own space and give your girlfriend there space and the relationship will work out fine.

Thanks for the great help and good luck with all your future Relationships!!

Keep smiling you are alive!!

chuff · May 18, 2007, 11:57 PM

You kind of beat yourself up for all that you've done but I think you missed the bigger picture. You learned from it. Maybe not the easy way, certainly not the way you would have liked but you did learn from it. Now next time you'll have some idea what your doing and not make the same mistakes. I spent years making the same mistakes over and over. You won't do that, and yes it came at a cost of deep pain, but most real life lessons do. I think you've gained far more than you lost and in the future I think you'll see that.

mckenzie134 · May 19, 2007, 08:37 AM

Thanks chuff I did learn from it I must say before the relationship I had been previously dumped from a 4 year relationship and learnt so much and voved to never give that same level of love again. I believed I had learnt my lessomn and in the new relationship I did not give all my love for ay 3 years I kept it pretty cruisy but after that I did become a bit more clingy and then she was gone. So I must say I did not have much to learn really because I already new what should be going on that's why I beat myself up aboutb it chuff because I new from the other how I had to be and I was like gthat for a log time but in the end you have to be pretty much like that for the whole time. Its just sometimes I likd to show a bit more love. I did tell myself after the first ex how I was going to be but in the end I thought well I would rather be a bit more lving and caring and bang turned on me. This just proved yo can never give too much. Cheers.

Geoffersonairplane · May 19, 2007, 12:01 PM

Chuff gave you the perfect response here. You have learned some valuable lessons much like I and many others have. The price was a broken heart and some harsh emotional pain but as chuff says, the most valuable life lessons usually come with this price.

The only way now is forward in a positive direction unless you choose otherwise, which I don't believe you will.

All the best..

AW805 · May 19, 2007, 02:49 PM

Some people just want to hear want they want to hear no matter what someone says. Most people have the answers already and just aren't ready to apply them to their life.

mckenzie134 · May 19, 2007, 07:25 PM

That's very true its amazing how some people no what to do but your right you have to put these in place. I know what should be done but occasionally for some reason my gut tells me I'm being manipulative. But Im not but sometimes I find myself telling me this and that is the worst thing I can do

Geoffersonairplane · May 20, 2007, 03:10 AM

Sometimes its easier said than done.

Eventually though, you begin to realise that you must listen to yourself, your gut instinct.

Action usually speaks louder than words.

The answers that matter, the ones that you will get often come from within.

talaniman · May 20, 2007, 06:48 AM

You have grown a lot, and we all go through the pain, that brings growth and change. You are so much better than when you came. Much Luck!

Geoffersonairplane · May 20, 2007, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by mckenzie134

I did tell myself after the first ex how I was going to be but in the end I thought well I would rather be a bit more lving and caring and bang turned on me. This just proved yo can never give to much. Cheers.

Its hard not to show that Love when you really do love someone. You can show it though but there is a difference between showing that caring side and being clingy and over protective. I believe that it all boils down to balance but a real relationship takes a lot of work and both parties have a responsibility to keep it alive and work on any issues.

The biggest lesson I learnt from my breakup was to find someone who is ready for that kind of relationship, someone who is ready for what it means to be in a REAL relationship, not the liking of the idea of having one.