[anonymousgirl]

I have a big problem with jealousy. I've met a very special guy and I'm very in love with him, and I don't want him to see how jealous I really am. I'll get mad if he even TALKS to another girl or walks with one to class, especially if she's hot. It's like inferiority complex, I guess I just have a low self esteem. I'm in high school, he's in college and I understand that there are hot girls there and everything, but I don't know what to do. Anyone know how I can fix this? I don't want us to break up because I'm a jealous freak! Help!

[Wildcat21]

Jealousy - such a bad emotion. But, I find it as a WARNING sign to back off. If you are feeling jealous, it's time to be a little less available - we always want to come on stronger and it hurts.

Jealousy occurs WHEN you put WAY too much emotion into some WAY too early in a relationship. YOU CAN'T become clingy-needy - you need other things in your life - friends, school, work, sports, clubs, family, hobbies, travel etc.

Your boy friend IS NOT your life!! He is part of your life - you should NEVER put anyone on a pedestal! Ok?

You have to allow your guy to talk other girls - you shouldbe proud that other people are attracted to him - just as lon gas he is with you.

Jealousy WILL drive him away. We all feel this - the KEY is to keep inside. You have to learn to buidl barriers - NOT show your emotuins.

People want emotinally independent partners. You need to show that your life will go on just fine without him. ESPECIALLY EARLY in a relationship - LESS IS MORE early in a relationship - give less time... it will help build the relationship.

Remember - you other thinsg in your life and then this guy won't matter as much - especially early. Sometimes we get all stary eyed and don't realize they ar just another human.

[anonymousgirl]

So, just occupy myself with other things other than him so I don't worry as much? Be less available. It's so hard, but I'll try. I mean, I want people to know he's mine and that they have no chance -- is that wrong? I know that fate plays a big role here and what happens happens. I find emotional adultery more offensive than actual adultery. I'm not scared he'll screw someone else, but that he'll fall in love with someone else. Do you ever feel this way? Thank you!

[Wildcat21]

If you want to keep him, you have to do it. Less is more.

Being all jealousy and clingy-needy is a big turnoff.

Don't ever make a guy your entire life - it will ruin the relationship.

Once you learn to occupy other things in your life and EMOTIOINAL INDEPENDENCE - you will be much happier and won't get hurt again.

[toonking]

"Shoot for the moon because even if you miss... you'll land among the stars".

If you miss the moon, you wander in space forever. Stars are millions and billions of light years away. The moon is only several hundred thousand miles away.

A lot like jealously, I assume -- wandering forever in a void of nothingness, an emptiness with neither perimeter nor parameter. Lost without reason. Directionless in the dark envelopment of space, space being the human emotion.

[anonymousgirl]

Uhm, thanks :o
I'm more confused than before.

[toonking]

Again, the moon is only several hunded thousand miles away. If you miss, you'll need to go ANOTHER million light years before you land upon a star.

And stars are hot. You'll probably burn yourself. Like jealousy, a self-burn, inflicted on oneself out of a lack of respect for the object "sat" upon.