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urgh160 · May 14, 2007, 07:46 AM

My girlfriend and I tried to have sex recently, we are both virgins, but she said that it was too painful and we stopped. Is there something I am doing wrong? Or is that just part of how it is going to be?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this?

NowWhat · May 14, 2007, 07:52 AM

I would say that this pretty normal. It can be painful the first couple of times.
If you are at a point that you want to do this - try lots of foreplay. Also, invest in a good lubricant.

J_9 · May 14, 2007, 07:54 AM

Please also don't forget to use protection unless of course you are ready for parenthood.

urgh160 · May 14, 2007, 08:21 AM

Yeah, we used protection.

kepi · May 14, 2007, 01:35 PM

But remember- you both have to be relaxed. If she's nervous or self-conscious, or anything like that, it's just going to be more painful.

Question: Does she use pads or tampons? Because if she uses pads, then she probably has never had her hymen stretched, which is why she is experiencing the pain.

Also: Keep in mind that there may be some light spotting when and if you succeed.

Good luck:D

Xrayman · May 14, 2007, 11:41 PM

Lubrication. Lubrication. Lubrication. Either (recommended) Natural or artificial and take it s.l.o.w.l.y-enter only when she is ready-asking you to do so.

1badchoice · May 14, 2007, 11:47 PM

These are all good recommendations. Just remember that sometimes it takes several times of trying to succeed. This is normal. It's a big step. I commend you for stopping when things got uncomfortable for her. As long as you take it slow, be sure she is lubricated, and stop if necessary things will work themselves out. Of course protection is always a must as well. Good luck. Enjoy each other. Cathy

Krs · May 15, 2007, 01:59 AM

Originally Posted by urgh160

My girlfriend and I tried to have sex recently, we are both virgins, but she said that it was too painful and we stopped. Is there something i am doing wrong? Or is that just part of how it is going to be?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this?

Practise makes perfect, however you are both beginners so give yourself credit.
The pain should go for your girlfriend. The first time is always painful for the ladies.

Please also make sure that your girlfriend is taking the pill or use condoms, always safe guard yourselves :)

Jiser · May 15, 2007, 04:10 AM

Yep practice, I remember my first time, it was awkward and not fun but after a few times we were like bunnies! :) Lube + foreplay helps

kirriky · May 16, 2007, 02:57 PM

I have a friend who spent 4 years trying but never succeeded. The girl always said it hurt too much.

Then after they broke up she went on to hook up with another guy and suddenly it didn't hurt all that much.

And the guy never had any problems with other girls either.

:confused:

That's not meant to discourage you though. Id stick with the previous advices - lube lube lube foreplay foreplay foreplay (not necessarily in this order)

bailee · May 17, 2007, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by urgh160

My girlfriend and I tried to have sex recently, we are both virgins, but she said that it was too painful and we stopped. Is there something i am doing wrong? Or is that just part of how it is going to be?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this?

Trust me you aren't doing anything wrong. It's perfectly normal. Sex is going to hurt for the first time. Just take it slow with her.

taeshawn · May 17, 2007, 10:02 PM

My boyfrend an I tried for months until we got frustrated an decided to stop but we were going about it wrong.. we were planning too much... one night we had a fight then he was trying to apologize an then BAM! We just did it... it was kind of painful but she has to try not to focus on it!!

WTFO · May 19, 2007, 10:18 PM

After these last two replies, I'm at a loss as to what else could possibly be said! Hey, who needs Dr. Ruth when we've got answers like these.
So Cinnamon... oh never mind, I get it.

WTFO · May 20, 2007, 10:42 PM

Since someone with a lot of common sense has pulled the absurd reply by Cinnamon, my response doesn't mean as much - please disregard it.
Thanks,
WTFO (just up the dial from WKRP)

chippers · May 20, 2007, 10:55 PM

First time sex for virgins. Hmmmmmmmm that's a toughy. It's a lot of nervousness and anxiety. It'll hurt more if the girl tenses up since she's not used to anything like that. It does you credit to care this much about her feelings and well being. All I can say is take you time and patience does help. I'm not sure how uncomfortable it is for the guy but for the girl it can be painful. Cuddling forplay and lubricant along with protection go a long way. As well as time. You have forever to make love.

Roger Grimsby · May 30, 2007, 08:20 AM

I wasn't impressed with "protection."

Condoms obviously provided "desensitization," regardless of what the marketing-hype on the packaging said. And I didn't want my wife (who was my girlfriend at the time) taking "The Pill" because playing with one's hormones can have side effects -- short term and long term.

So I went to my neighborhood urologist and got my vas deferens (tubes) cut. I did it without my sweety's permission, but it was my body and she was only my girlfriend... Also, her kids were 18 and 20 at the time, and I determined she needed a baby like she needed a whole in the head.

The local anesthetic was less painful than the shots at the dentist. Then I drove myself home (sometimes a stick-shift is only a stick-shift), and walked slowly for a couple of days. The doc gave me Tylenol with codeine, but I think I only used one or two.

Best choice I ever made for my sex life. It's been naturally uncomplicated for the last 14 years. Of course, other aspects of marriage are more complicated, like tolerating her totally irrational quirks just because I love her, but that’s going off on a tangent.

Occasionally, she reminds me that if anything ever happens to her, I can get the "operation" reversed. :heart: That would probably be a general anesthetic and a bigger deal, but personally, I don't think I'll be interested.

Hey, I know how yous kids' minds work, so let me say this: Just a quick in-and-out to see how it feels without a condom is enough to cause pregnancy. Unless you do it my way (he said smugly).

Take it slow. Do what feels good for both of you. Regardless of whether you do it my way, it will be better for your long-term sex life if you assure that your sweety associates sex with pleasantness, comfort, relaxation, fun, etc...

-Neil, I mean Roger-

Roger Grimsby · May 30, 2007, 08:27 AM

According the Internet, which is never wrong:

A vasectomy reversal operation rejoins each of the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles to the penis, which were cut during a vasectomy. However, this doesn't guarantee that your fertility will be restored.

kepi · May 30, 2007, 08:41 AM

A vasectomy can be reversed, but that doesn't mean it will allow for you to have children. Most of the time, it will not restore fertility, so I would not advise anyone to go out there and get a vasectory- it sounds like th person who asked for help is rather young, so a vasectomy is probably not the best.
ALSO: A vasectomy won't make having intercourse any easier. The original question says:

urgh160

First timer woes
My girlfriend and I tried to have sex recently, we are both virgins, but she said that it was too painful and we stopped. Is there something I am doing wrong? Or is that just part of how it is going to be?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this?

A vasectomy (or a condom, for that matter), will not help with the pain.

UnwantedHero · May 30, 2007, 01:20 PM

My girlfriend and I are having the same problem but the thing is she's no virgin,she's had plenty of sex then went though a dry spell of 6-7 months and then she met me and all of a sudden she's tight and it hurts her a lot too,so sex for me last about 8min before she's gets too hurt and we stop.wish I knew how to help her though.

NowWhat · May 30, 2007, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by Roger Grimsby

I wasn't impressed with "protection."

Condoms obviously provided "desensitization," regardless of what the marketing-hype on the packaging said. And I didn't want my wife (who was my girlfriend at the time) taking "The Pill" because playing with one's hormones can have side effects -- short term and long term.

So I went to my neighborhood urologist and got my vas deferens (tubes) cut. I did it without my sweety's permission, but it was my body and she was only my girlfriend... Also, her kids were 18 and 20 at the time, and I determined she needed a baby like she needed a whole in the head.

The local anesthetic was less painful than the shots at the dentist. Then I drove myself home (sometimes a stick-shift is only a stick-shift), and walked slowly for a couple of days. The doc gave me Tylenol with codeine, but I think I only used one or two.

Best choice I ever made for my sex life. It's been naturally uncomplicated for the last 14 years. Of course, other aspects of marriage are more complicated, like tolerating her totally irrational quirks just because I love her, but that's going off on a tangent.

Occasionally, she reminds me that if anything ever happens to her, I can get the "operation" reversed. :heart: That would probably be a general anesthetic and a bigger deal, but personally, I don't think I'll be interested.

Hey, I know how yous kids' minds work, so let me say this: Just a quick in-and-out to see how it feels without a condom is enough to cause pregnancy. Unless you do it my way (he said smugly).

Take it slow. Do what feels good for both of you. Regardless of whether you do it my way, it will be better for your long-term sex life if you assure that your sweety associates sex with pleasantness, comfort, relaxation, fun, etc...

-Neil, I mean Roger-

I am glad this worked for you, but
This has little to do with the original question and just because you can't get someone pregnant does NOT mean you can't spread STD's.