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zooropa1985 · May 13, 2007, 02:58 AM

My ex girlfriend split from me three weeks ago, it was a very big shock to the system.

During the relationship she was the one who did all the running to me, she would be the one texting like mad and always asking me if I loved her as much as she loved me.

We had our ups and downs like any couple but we really did have a great time together, she was my best friend and my soul mate, she felt the same for me and said it many a time.

However as soon as she sent the text saying it was over she seemed like a completely different person, I tried to ask her why but she just said that her mind was made up and that she wants to be left alone. She wouldn't even answer her phone to let me talk to her.

Anyhoo around three in the morning I got a text from her asking me not to hate her, I told her I never could.

Ive tried no contact to see if that will work but I just can't keep it going, we used to text at least twice a day and to suddenly not do it seemed really sad and hard.

She says she wants to be friends but she's not ready for that yet, then she says she doesn't know what the future holds for us. Somedays she seems OK to think that we may get together again while others she just says there's no chance.

Im trying everything to get her back but she keeps pushing me away, she won't meet in the middle.

The worst part came the other night when she said she didn't love me anymore, can you really stop loving someone over a week or did she just not love me in the first place?
She text me back later saying she didn't know why she said it and that she was dissapointed because I hadn't texted her, even though she told me not too. Then yesterday she told me again that she didn't love me.

Im confused and hurt, she seems to be playing games with my mind, am I being selfish?

She's got her alevels in a few weeks and I'm thinking maybe it's the stress of that, maybe after her exams she will change her mind. I also believe her parents want her to have space too, I'm understanding of that but I would like to know once and for all.

All I can do is wait and see, wait till the exams are over and the stress is lifted.

What should I do, I want to move on but I can't help feel that one day she might want me back.

lmnotok · May 13, 2007, 10:19 AM

Hahaha, well, she is definitely so childish, so I have a good news for you::: SHE STILL LOVES YOU SO MUCH!! That's why she played games and still waited for your reaction and got upset. She just wanted to challenge your love and see how much u really want her. So.. there... go ahead man, if you still love her then go for it, just be patient, and she will see your love and she will come back BUT I WARN YOU THAT this game might happen over and over again out of her childishness.
So if you want a marture gal then u'd better off moving on and stay friends until she really grows up.
Goodluck man

chuff · May 13, 2007, 07:39 PM

Drop this girl, she is toying with you or found some one else. Either way if she can't commit to you or at the very least in providing you with an explanation for her behavior and the break up she has no respect for you or the relationship. I know you don't feel it now, but your better off without her and in due time you will see that to be true.

talaniman · May 13, 2007, 08:21 PM

LEAVE HER ALONE and stop talking to her period. You are wasting your time waiting for some one who broke up with you. You won't be confused if you stop talking to her, and could move on, and get over this. Read other posts of guys on this forum that are going through the same thing. The ones who hold out hope can't move on, and the ones who sever all contact have moved on. YOUR choice.

mckenzie134 · May 13, 2007, 08:31 PM

Move on cut all contact, i kept in contact for two months did me no good at all. Just move on that's all you can do. Never call her again she asked you for something """A BREAK"" listen give her what she wants. Make her miss you she will regret her decision... maybe.

jillygirl524 · May 13, 2007, 09:19 PM

If she wants you back she will let you know. I sounds like she's unsure. If she doesn't love you anymore it more than likely happened over time and that's why she kept asking you if you loved her, it's the unsureness. The best advice I can give don't be with someone if they don't want to be with you. I think everything will work it self out.

talaniman · May 13, 2007, 09:27 PM

but I can't help feel that one day she might want me back.

It would be unwise to sit and wait on a maybe when you could be using your time for more positive things to improve your life. Everyone who comes here after a break, thinks they have a chance to get back with there ex. What a waste of time and a good way to stop the healing process.

gypsy456 · May 13, 2007, 09:45 PM

Would you like to go back to a girl who breaks up with you by sending you a text message ?
No personal conversation explaining how and why ?
Playing games now ?

Sorry, this does not sound like somebody who loves and respects you.

By the sound of this you are better off without her...

Remove her from your address book and move on.

Don't allow people to treat you like this...
Dumping you with a text message and then playing games... you must be kidding.

zooropa1985 · May 14, 2007, 08:09 AM

Originally Posted by gypsy456

would you like to go back to a girl who breaks up with you by sending you a text message ?
no personal conversation explaining how and why ?
playing games now ?

sorry, this does not sound like somebody who loves and respects you.

by the sound of this you are better off without her...

remove her from your address book and move on.

don't allow people to treat you like this...
dumping you with a text message and then playing games....... you must be kidding.

The hardest part was that I tried ringing her but she wouldn't answer to give me an explanation, that was hard.

I can't blame her for dumping me, that's her choice, but it's the way she's handled it that hurts the most, she was once the person that brought so much joy into my life and now she's the one causing the misery.

Should I really just give up and move on, find someone else, what if I meet someone and lose any chance of getting her back, no matter how small a chance that may be.

Ps

Thanks for the advice, it is really helping me everyone.

talaniman · May 14, 2007, 01:17 PM

What if you move on with your life, and meet someone a lot more compatible? That's one of the benefits of moving on we all find out about, and so will you. If you leave her alone and let the intense emotions you feel now, die down you will see things much clearer. Most who follow this suggestion and get to acceptance of the end of their relationship they find not only do they feel better but are ready for the new love that surely will come along. The only thing holding you back is you. Not easy I will admit, but that's the way we all have to go. Contact with her now would only give you false hope of her coming back, and leave you confused even more.

zooropa1985 · May 14, 2007, 01:24 PM

I agree and I will try, she seems such a different person to the one knew.

Everything was fine, there were no signs that this was coming.

She was my first love, its just sad to see the dreams I has fade into the night.

fix-what-you-broke · May 14, 2007, 01:25 PM

"she sent the text saying it was over "...

I was with my ex for 6 years, I told him to his face that I didn't want to be with him anymore, it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life,ever.
I felt evil, but I still did it the right way, if someone sent me a text to say it was over,they would get what they wanted without a second thought...

zooropa1985 · May 14, 2007, 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by fix-what-you-broke

"she sent the text saying it was over "....
i was with my ex for 6 years, i told him to his face that i didnt want to be with him anymore, it was the hardest thing i have ever done in my life,ever.
i felt evil, but i still did it the right way, if someone sent me a text to say it was over,they would get what they wanted without a second thought....

So basically you're saying that sending a text wasn't the right way to do it, I agree there, but it's the fact that she wouldn't let me contact her at all to get an explanation, I had to wait 2 days before she told me why.

Thanks

talaniman · May 14, 2007, 01:56 PM

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

So basically you're saying that sending a text wasnt the right way to do it, i agree there, but its the fact that she wouldnt let me contact her at all to get an explanation, i had to wait 2 days before she told me why.

thanks

Who puts up with that kind of treatment.

zooropa1985 · May 14, 2007, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Who puts up with that kind of treatment.

I guess I just love her :(

But now its time to move on.

fix-what-you-broke · May 14, 2007, 02:10 PM

No I don't think her sending a text is the right way, I said if someone sent me a text saying it was over they would get what they wanted, that to me shows lack of respect, she can sleep with you, share your life but she can't tell you she doesn't want you anymore? She doesn't deserve you

fix-what-you-broke · May 14, 2007, 02:21 PM

I would listen to your friends on this one, it sounds to me like she already let go whilst you were still together, distanced herself in a way because she knew she wanted it to end,the thing is she didn't let you know this. Certainly not fair on you at all.
If it was as simple as her being stressed with her A levels wouldn't she want support from her boyfriend,not push you away? That's what its all about, you take the good times with the bad in any relationship.
I would try to move on, I know its hard I have been there,but in time you will know that you are ready to date again and when its too late she will probably want you back when she see`s how happy you are without her and all the mind playing games... good luck :-)

zooropa1985 · May 14, 2007, 03:02 PM

Thank you for your answers, keep them coming.

In all fairness to her though she is very young and never broke up with anyone before, I believe she is dealing with this in the best way she can.

gypsy456 · May 14, 2007, 04:32 PM

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

Thank you for your answers, keep them coming.

In all fairness to her though she is very young and never broke up with anyone before, i believe she is dealing with this in the best way she can.

That might be true...
Having said that... that does not mean that you have to allow somebody to treat you like that... not even the person you love... you deserve love and respect.

Letting go of your first love is a hard thing.
For that reason alone -her being your first love- you will never forget her.
And that is fine.
We all probably still remember our first love and some of us have fondest memories, other's don't...
It's the experience...

We live and learn.
In love we fall and get up.

But sending a text matters when it comes to matters of the heart... that is not such a great idea.

Good luck !

chuff · May 14, 2007, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

Thank you for your answers, keep them coming.

In all fairness to her though she is very young and never broke up with anyone before, i believe she is dealing with this in the best way she can.

I'm going to disagree with you here zooropa. If you gave your time, energy, love, and trust to this girl she has the obligation to be up front with you and tell you in person or at the very least over the phone, not be a coward via text and age has nothing to do with it. That's a matter of respect and class, which she is obviously lacking in both.

To me what is even worse, is the fact that she choose to avoid you when you "dared" ask for an explanation. Quite honestly, that's BS. You were owed that and the fact that she not only wouldn't give you one, but actually avoided giving one proves she's not the person you thought she was or are still giving her credit for. Accept, and quite honestly be extremely proud of the fact that you are too good for this woman.