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fix-what-you-broke · May 12, 2007, 12:03 PM

I wish you luck with whatever happens... and I wasn't being harsh before, its just I don't think its fair if this guy is going to get hurt further.

floor · May 12, 2007, 12:07 PM

I know you weren't and I could never hurt him again, because he is special but I had to try and stop wondering if there was a chance we'll see, however because I have now had the chance to speak to him I can now move on.

Jiser · May 12, 2007, 12:11 PM

Who split up with who?

floor · May 12, 2007, 01:50 PM

I got heavy with him because he wasn't getting in touch with me when he said he would and I thought I can't be messed around, either he is interested or he's not, s he ended things. He may decide this is not the route he wants ro go down when he thinks sbout it over the next few weeks and if that's the way he decides then fair enough

SouthernBelle06 · May 12, 2007, 08:02 PM

Can you fill us in on why you broke up in the first place? How did you treat him that you felt you must now apologize for it? Did you end the relationship or did he? I know that you have done what you needed to do now, but it helps to have some background information on the breakup. It helps us to understand how he may be feeling and why he would respond to you the way he did.

floor · May 13, 2007, 04:44 AM

As I said we met and had an amazing weekend together, I clicked with him like I never felt about anyone else before and he admitted the same to me yesterady he said he would ring and he didn't for a whole week and so I called him and was taken aback because I gave out to him about this. We met but it wasn't the same because there was an akwardness between us. We planned to meet one particular night and he never showed up, no phonecall or nothing and I got so angry with him for leaving me there, what annoyed me the most was his total lack of resepct. I rang him again and called him a coward for having no courage to be upfront, I was really mean to him. The first night we met he shared so much with me which he said later he shouldn't have because it was too soon, however we got caught up with the heat of the moment as we both felt we knew each other a lifetime when realistically we didn't. 18 months before we met he was with someone for 5 years and they were palnning to move in together and get married however she left him and had an affair with his best friend. He was gutted and maybe never got over that I do't know, his best mate and ex are now married. I know now that he does believe I'm crazy after what I said to him after a year and rightly so but I'm not, he is probably very suspicious and thinks she was all talk and will not follow through in contacting him to meet up in 2 weeks however I will. I'm nervous of him letting me down and now showing up however he has asked for me to take that risk, he din't exactly assure me or anything becaue he must have thought I was a joke yesterday but the thing is I don't care because I got to say from the heart what I should have said many months ago and for me that's closure. Where do you think he is coming from this?

SouthernBelle06 · May 13, 2007, 05:03 AM

Again, can you please explain why you broke up in the first place? What were the circumstances behind it and who initiated the breakup? You or him? This will help us to answer and give our opinions on his actions now.

bikerguy · May 13, 2007, 06:43 AM

Maybe he was looking for more assurance from you with that question? I would have said the same thing. You could have really put your heart out there and said, I thought maybe we could work this out. But after a year... Its still possible he is holding a candle for you, if he was not interested he would have said hell no... not why? I think he was feeling you out for why the sudden interest. I can't help to ask that either. Did you just get dumped? Why the need to call/text after 365 days? Not being Rude just probing..

floor · May 13, 2007, 07:15 AM

To somerbelle and bikerguy, the reason we broke up is because he did not want to carry on, he saw this angry side of me which he did not like, that is why he did not want to get back with me. Also I asked him to sort this out and he would not return my calls. Yes I was involved with someone for about 8 months and we both knew it was not going to work. The reason I contacted him now was because I was afraid of the rejection again if I contacted him before this. I'm doing this course also which has made me see what I did was wrong and if I carried on then I would lose every guy I met who wanted a relationship with me. I can certainly understand yours and his suspicion about why I contacted him after 12 months but I'm genuine about this, I am very sorry the way I hurt him and that was it, I've always ben told that it is never too late to apologise to those you hurt and I believe that. As I said I want to see him however if he does not want to see me after this time then that's absouletly OK but to let everyone know he contacted me again 5 months after we finished and he did not state why he did this. I could not have gone out with him even if I wanted to as I was seeing someone else and would do this behind my partners back. It's funny I just sense such suspicion from ye all about my reasons for doing this and as long as I'm front about my intensions towards him that's all that matters. I made a mistake which I did realise a long time ago but only now have the courage to do somehting about it.

talaniman · May 13, 2007, 09:22 AM

Why don't you just admit that you wanted to see if he still cares, and maybe rekindle a lost spark. After a year you should have moved on, and put him behind you, so forget that closure stuff, because it makes no sense. You still want to see him so admit that was the whole reason for calling and texting until you got a reaction. Now where do you go from here? If he doesn't call ? I see your fingers crossed from here hoping he will.

floor · May 13, 2007, 09:36 AM

Yes you are right Talanian I would like to see him and see if there is a chance but when I called that was not my reason. Maybe this will become clearer when I menrion the landark forum which I have been doing for the past 3 months. It encourages people to take responsibility for their mistakes and admit to it which I have done without any of the rewards afterwards and that is what I have done. Truth is I could not forgive myself for the awful way I acted towrds him and hence my contact but it certainly was not to get back with him until I thought about it a week or so later and did so for the reason I menioned

AW805 · May 13, 2007, 10:54 AM

So basically when you wrote here, it wasn't that you wanted closure but were looking for a second chance.

fix-what-you-broke · May 13, 2007, 11:18 AM

I'm getting more and more confused with this one I'm afraid...

J_9 · May 13, 2007, 11:20 AM

I am very confused about this also. I wonder exactly how long they were going together.

floor · May 13, 2007, 11:31 AM

I am a confusing person, I was seeing the guy approx a few weeks.

floor · May 13, 2007, 11:32 AM

I don't seem to be explaining myself very well however if I do get to meet this guy I will fill you in. All I need to know is that I have done what I shaould a long time ago and tht's it

J_9 · May 13, 2007, 11:40 AM

You were only seeing him a few weeks and you are going through all this drama!! :eek: It is not surprising that he has run for the hills.

It sounds as though you are putting way too much into this, way more than he ever really wanted.

If he does not meet up with you, leave the poor guy alone before he considers you a stalker.

AW805 · May 13, 2007, 11:54 AM

Hmm. I think we are all just confused because we're not getting the full story.

J_9 · May 13, 2007, 11:57 AM

AW, here is my take on it in a nutshell...

She met him on a weekend, they had sex, it was wonderful (to her), they saw each other for a few weeks, she was clingy and overly needy, he freaked out and broke it off.

Short and sweet, but now after a year, she still can't let go.

AW805 · May 13, 2007, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

AW, here is my take on it in a nutshell....

She met him on a weekend, they had sex, it was wonderful (to her), they saw each other for a few weeks, she was clingy and overly needy, he freaked out and broke it off.

Short and sweet, but now after a year, she still can't let go.

:D Thanks J_9. That's what I thought she was trying to say in around about way.