[SAB123]

I think when you or anybody came to this web site you were looking for people to tell you yes he's coming back including me. I wanted people too tell me yes she will be back. At first that is not what I wanted to here. I would sit here rite down every little bit of info about her so people would say yes she's coming back. The reality of it, he's GONE. You need to come out of your shell and listen to what people are telling you or you are going to be miserasble for a long long time. Trust me I know what you are going through and everyone else here listen to them. Because if I didn't listen and Tal giving me a kick in the butt, I would be at square one rite now.

[HurtingALot]

I need to say thank you, again, to everyone who has answered my posts. I know that I can be a lot to handle... and for this I am sorry. I am just trying to get through this, anyway I can. Like I said earlier, there are such moments of clarity that make me think I am so much better off... almost like he did me a favor... But then, out of no where, the other side comes back in and it seems to be so much stronger and last so much longer. I am beginning to think that I'm just as crazy as he is. Time... time... time... Breathe is all I can do. I know this will get better... Everything happens for a reason... Everything works out the way it's supposed to, it always does, No Matter What.

[SAB123]

No need to be sorry for how you feel. Those are your feelings and no one can change them except YOU. Like I said it's been 3 months and I still have those feelings, but their not as intence and my heart doesn't hurt as much. But if you don't start the healing process YOU will be just like you are 3 months from now. And I'm still hurting over her breaking up with me but once you let go of him it gets easier.

[emopunk7]

Stay calm... Go take a nice cold shower and tell me if you feel the same when you get out... Remember, if he broke up, it's up to him to contact you. As for you, you should find something to do like watch a television show and then go to bed or go out with a friend. It's going to drive you crazy for a while. If he broke it off, then you should think twice about being with him. If he was able to do this now, he will do it again later on... Believe me. You don't want him to know that you are dying for him, so stay busy and try for all the hope in the world to forget about him. ANother advice would be to go on youtube.com and search for "relationship clips" They show nice relationships and you tell yourself that your next one will be like that and that you don't have to worry. Believe me there is always ALWAYS better out there. Perhaps not the same, but different and better. Good luck, tell me how you're doing. I'm going through the same thing and just telling you how I'm getting by.

[AmiPortsmouth]

If it helps you I am currently in exactly the same situation too. I think about him all the time and I love him so so much. I can't bear that it might be over - I can't even really believe how its possible that he is my one and only and he doesn't feel the same. I guess now we have to try and be strong and sensible. Someone else on this site reminded me to focus on what else I want in life and work towards it. We will be happy again.

[HurtingALot]

I know you are all right about all of this. For now, I know that I need to focus on getting my head and my heart in the same place. I need to focus on me getting to a better place so that I don't make myself really crazy. We never know what the future holds for us... but until then, I need to make my own way.

[SAB123]

I have posted in other threads....but am hoping for as much help and advice as I can get.

You can post all the threads you want and YOU are going to get the same answers from everyone.

I feel like I am not going to make it through this.....(my head knows I will....my heart is completely unsure.)

If you don't start listening to what people are saying your NOT going to make it through this.

It has been a week and a half since our "break/breakup" began.....NC....and it is excruciating.

Yes, Your still in shock and you are in the early stages of breakup

Most nights I have been unable to go to him....(probably lucky...) but tonight I would normally be with him.

Don't think about it

I want to go so badly....and wish he would just say that everything is going to be ok.

Why he treated you like crap

The hope of him coming back to me is driving me (and everyone else) insane.

If you don't start to heal it's going to continue and you may start to looseing friends like I did when my ex broke up with me for the first time.

My gut is telling me that since he has made no effort to contact me....that is truely is over.

Then move on.

The thought of him being with someone else literally makes me gag.

I still feel the same way?

(I can't eat or sleep...)

Your still in the early stages and Yes, I still have trouble.

Is the story in my head better than what is actually happening?

In the early stage I thought of us getting back just to mak emyself feel better but I don't do it all the time because it's unhealty.

Why can't I stop waiting for him to come to me?

Again your still in early stages and once you let go it's not as bad

I am going crazy.

If you don't let go you will.

How can I allow someone to have this much control over my emotions??

Because you are letting him. Let go!

It is all I think about.

So did I in the beginning, but as time goes on it gets better.

[talaniman]

Get used to the occasional shove when we see you get stuck,:eek: and we are here for the long haul,;) you just have to grin and bear it.:D

[fix-what-you-broke]

I'm sure I just answered this... (scratches head)... go to the other posts you have made and read the answers,just because it's a different thread it doesn't mean you are going to get any clearer answers

[emopunk7]

Hurtingalot: Sometimes I feel like crying while reading your posts... It's really sad to know you are going through this. You must pray a lot. Im sure you still think of the good moments, but the moments will come back with someone else... Look at 60 year old people. Do you know how much heart break they have gone through? They are still alive and some are still smiling. Don't let this one man in a world of billions make you a sad old woman. Have fun and let go and in the end you will be the happiest person in the world. It's not about money or looks or anything. Show me your happiness and I'll show you what you're worth!! You can do it and I know you can. In fact if he ever calls you, ignore him this time! I'm sure he won't and if he does it won't be to get together so do yourself a favor. Pray and let go little by little! You are a woman and you have a strength that us men don't have, so use it to your advantage. There is a guy out there somewhere tonight feeling the way you do and hoping to someday find you. The two of you just don't know it yet!

[gypsy456]

You will be fine.

It just take time.

Stop the drama.

You are driving yourself nuts.


Take a deep breath and one day at the time...


Good luck

[mckenzie134]

It will get better doesn't seem like it now. The best thing to do is try and do something to take your mind off it or lay down and try and have early nights in bed. Go swimming have a massarge have a spa

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=1347759
Even though I merged 3 of your post to cut the confusion, you still have 9 in the last 6 days. When is enough, enough. The only thing left to do is or me to warn others, and start deleteing all your duplicate questions. So last advice is go see a doctor, and beg him to help you.

[gypsy456]

Yep... hurtingalot is driving herself nuts.

[SouthernBelle06]

Why are you so surprised that he has not contacted you during these two weeks when he clearly asked you for this time to think? You shouldn't even be expecting to hear from him yet. If after the two weeks are up and still nothing, then you can start to wonder about it.

We don't know if he is thinking about you. We don't know if it is over. We don't have a crystal ball. But yes, based on what you have posted, this relationship may truly be over. It hurts and it sucks, but you have to prepare yourself for that possibility without falling apart like this. If you have been this dependent on him all the time and in such a frame of mind as you can't live without him, he may well be overwhelmed and indeed want out of the relationship for good. We have all been through breakups and yes it's hard. We know and we understand.

Surely you must have been through breakups before? Think back how you got over them. If you show him this needy side of yourself by contacting him and crying and begging and wanting to talk before he is ready, you will ruin any slim chance of a reconciliation (if one exists anyway). Even if you do get back together with him, is the relationship really THAT great or are you just panicking at the thoughts of not being in a relationship? I suspect the latter. I think that you need to work on your neediness and dependence issues if any relationship you are in is ever going to work anyway. Neediness is one of the biggest turnoffs in any relationship. Anyone will tell you that. So even if you do reconcile, you really need to work on that if you don't want this same thing to happen again.

I don't know your life story or your history, but you sound like you don't have much personal strength, patience, or sense of independence (or much pride really). You really need to work on developing them. If I am wrong, I apologize. But I am just going by what you post. You might want to see a counselor and work on these things so you can handle life's ups and downs better. You may even need to be treated for anxiety and panic attacks so you don't drive yourself nuts over this. Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

[fix-what-you-broke]

You keep saying over and over again that the relationship wasn't that good, so why drive yourself crazy with this?
My last relationship was a bad one,when it was over I felt relieved.. so I don't understand.
Give him the two weeks like he asked, then contact him and talk about it.that is all you can do. I feel like I have answered this question multipul times just in different threads, and if you are starting different threads it means you are not getting the answers that you hoped for.posting different threads on the same topic isn't going to get more answers its going to pee people off...
My partners ex left him one day and never came back, he got no explanation,other than a little note she left saying she was going to be with his friend. He was with her three years and she didn't even tell him to his face.she then moved abroad with my partners mate. My man had no choice but to move on. I know its not the same I'm just trying to tell you that sometimes relationships don't work out the way you planned... im sure he wanted to contact her a few times,but he couldn't becuaes one he didn't know where she was and two he didn't have her new phone number... everyone has been where you are,its hard but its not the end of the world...
Please try and get a grip here and listen to what people here have been telling you.

[HurtingALot]

Ok... so here's an update. I have been thinking a lot about what everyone here has said... (not surprisingly... It's pretty much what all my friends and fam have said... but I guess, sometimes it needs to be heard from people who are really on the outside) and my current situation... I think that I have come to some sort of a turning point. I realize that I am a good person, that I did nothing but try to do good in my relationship and was constantly putting my own needs aside to make someone else happy, and that I didn't deserve the treatment I got nor the tears or sadness that I am experiencing now. I wasn't very happy in my relationship... but maybe this relationship was brought to me so that I could learn more about myself. I have made an appointment with a counselor so that I can try to figure out what is in myself that I would accept such poor treatment in a relationship, AND miss such a bad thing so much! I know that I deserve much better than this... and I am hoping that a little time and self-reflection will make the difference. Thank you again to all who listened and gave their advice, even when I made everyone crazy... I truly think (and hope) and believe that I may be on the right path to recovery! I am not going to say that my tears will be gone forever on this... and that there aren't going to be rough times ahead... I can't say that I'm through this... but I'm going to get there!!

[crJgirl]

I have posted in other threads....but am hoping for as much help and advice as I can get. I feel like I am not going to make it through this.....(my head knows I will....my heart is completely unsure.) It has been a week and a half since our "break/breakup" began.....NC....and it is excruciating. Most nights I have been unable to go to him....(probably lucky...) but tonight I would normally be with him. I want to go so badly....and wish he would just say that everything is going to be ok. The hope of him coming back to me is driving me (and everyone else) insane. My gut is telling me that since he has made no effort to contact me....that is truely is over. The thought of him being with someone else literally makes me gag. (I can't eat or sleep...) Is the story in my head better than what is actually happening? Why can't I stop waiting for him to come to me? I am going crazy. How can I allow someone to have this much control over my emotions?? It is all I think about.

May I ask exactly WHY the break up happened?? It is completely normal for you to feel like this after a break up! All you need is time... lots of time-eventually you will just get over him completely! How old are you? Spend time with your friends.. meet new guys(that always helps get over the last one, haha) Spend time with family.. you will officially be over it in NO time... good luck :)

[talaniman]

To catch up,
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=1349351

[HurtingALot]

Something else I think I have learned... You are only responsible and able to control your own self. Not anyone else. If you always strive to do right... that is all you can do. I guess I need to be a little more guarded next time and only really give of myself when it is truly being recipocated. Spyher answered one of my posts a while ago... He said something along the lines that if someone doesn't show respect to others, don't be so naïve to think that he will respect you. This guy doesn't respect anyone. He is all about himself... a product of his bipolar... Maybe... but either way, I deserve more.