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51days · May 4, 2007, 09:12 AM

OK this isn't so much about addiction but the fear of a close friend of mine getting addicted (more then a friend actually... long story and we may be going out) to cocain and or E. it started like 2 days ago she told me she wants to do coke which scares me allot I've trayed to explain to her not to do it why and all the reasons she shouldn't she's very depressed and she's going through allot right now and I know shell like it too much it will be an excape from everything she's been smoking weed allot lately because of this I'm tariffed she's going to get addicted espesily on the E. she says she just wants to "try it" but know one just tryes especily ecstacy I told her my story I told her that that was all I wanted to do and I'm not even depressed basically I told her that after I did it once acutely as I was on it that first time I was already planning my next roll I don't know how to get her not to do it. She promised me she wouldn't but its not like it's that hard for her to break that promise infect I'm convinced she will.. now she might also just be doing this for attention. She says she's wants to do it on Saturday which by coincidence falls on the same day I'm supposed to play pool with a few pul including one of her friends that she thinks I like she's extremely jealous. Now I'm not shur what I should do if I can't stop her. I have thought of a few options they include being there when she does it as a "sober sitter". Asking her out on the day that she wants to do it so she can't do it but she might say no.. I don't know I need impute on this I'm certain she's going to get addicted she has a very addictive personality I've seen people who get addicted to thews drugs and its not pretty on friend I had was at a point where she was giving blowjobs for E. I'm terrified. Any impute on what to do would work very well she's only 17 almost 18 and I care about her alt and I don't want anything bad to happen to her she doesn't seem to realise that she isn't invincible she doesn't see the addictive qualities especily the ecstacy I've drayed to tell her its not a physical addiction that gets people hooked it's the mental aspect which turns physical but she doesn't want to hear it and she got real depressed after I told her what happened to me. HELP ME.

PS sri about spelling and grammar real tired and in a rush so ill come by later when I have more time and fix it all up.

J_9 · May 4, 2007, 09:15 AM

First off you can tell her that many people die even the first time they try E.

51days · May 4, 2007, 09:17 AM

Yea she knows that already its like totally backwards she met me on e once and gave me this lecture not to mention she gave it to me when we where going out about 2 years ago almost the same thing she seems to have her mind set on it I think its for the attention but I may be wrong I mean she's just like me said shed never smoke weed now she does whenever she can said shed never do chems now she wants to try them its like watching me from the outside.

J_9 · May 4, 2007, 09:21 AM

You are really in a tough spot. But if you have been there you know that there is not much you can do. She is going to do it no matter what anyone says.

Now, from what you have written it sounds as though she may be self-medicating from other problems in her life. If this is the case, she needs counseling.

You may have to confront her about this in front of her parents.

51days · May 4, 2007, 09:31 AM

And now the hole goes deeper she has no parents she's in foster care about to move out of her foster parents house not to mention I don't know them as for counsiling she already has a good number of theripists working with her if I had a way of getting it touch with her counsalers I would... OK yea I think I can I can talk to her guidance cousler but I need to find out which one it is I don't even go to her school... and yea if its not for the attention which I don't think it is (shes known to do drastic things to see if people really do care about her) then it is for self medicating I've tried telling her that its only going to make it worse and how bad the comedown is and why its so bad I told her that if she does it its going to make her more depresed and explained to her why its going to make her depressed and I may have convinced her not to do the e but as for the coke I don't know I don't know anything about coke I don't understand what it does all I know is that the comedown is worth the high so I don't have any reason for her not to other then the adiction part.

51days · May 4, 2007, 09:43 AM

Should I go with her if I can't convince her not to do it she's planing this for tomorrow so I don't have time to do anything about this if she decides to. I obviosly won't to it myself but yea if I can't stop her would this be the best solution

AW805 · May 6, 2007, 10:22 PM

Its sounds as if she is on a self destructive path and you may never be able to help her. I'm just afraid that you are getting so involved that she may pull you in somehow. You could possibly become an "enabler" or "co dependent". This may all be too huge for you and you may at some point need to walk away for your own emotional health. Talk to counselors or organizations that have 12 step programs available. Stay strong and more importantly don't do this alone.

isabelle · May 7, 2007, 03:05 AM

You sound like a very good friend and I commend you for trying to help.
Perhaps you can get in touch with child protective services and they can take it from there. It is a first step.
Please know that you cannot stop her, and you do not want to be there if she is caught and arrested.
Do not be around her when she is trying these things just in case she is trying to get attention.
The most loving thing you can do is call CPS and stay away from her while she is doing drugs. You can not stop or help her. She has to want help. This is very hard to accept because I know you want to help her. You are a very good friend.
You have received some very good advice, but the most important thing is that YOU Can't HELP HER. It is probably the hardest thing to accept. Good luck and let us know what happens.

51days · May 7, 2007, 11:24 AM

OK well I think she was going for attention she hasn't mentiond it at all sense Friday we ended up hanging out on Saturday and she and her friend stayed at my house I think she just didn't want me to go out on Saturday cause she's afraid I'm going to start flerting with her friend anyway yea I think its passed I'm pretty shur I don't have to worry anymore but if anything does happen I will try and find someone to talk I think ill contact her social worker... I'm not worried about her getting arrested there is no law against having done a drug only posesion. So I'm just going to keep my eye out for know but I'm pretty shur it was just for the attention. Thanks for the help people ill keep up with this and tell you guys if I find anything else out about it.

brandy681 · May 7, 2007, 08:58 PM

She may still be thinking about the drugs and just not mentioning it, although you colud be correct and she may just want attention. Either way I wouldn't take the chance and if she is that needy for attention she may eventually try drugs. You may want to mention it to her counserlor and tell her not to say anything about what you told her. Her couselor is smart and will know how to handle the situation perfectly and this means that she is AWARE if what is going on in her life. Because you know that she is not going to say anything to her counselor. See... Counselors know away around this to make her understand about the drugs in ways you won't believe. She can get involved with better friends and keep busy. I had a friend that was 15 and thinking about drugs, her mother knew that she was thinking about it because friends mentioned it and her counselor put her in a special teen program to keep busy. At first she did not like the after school program but she began to love it... Her counselor needs to know what is going on in her life, so that she can help. That is what they are there for.

brandy681 · May 7, 2007, 09:02 PM

Also if you tell a counselor or other person in authority they WILL NOT tell your friend that you are the one who told on her. I mean if she gets addicted to drugs this can effect her life forever. You being the friend that you are can support her but if you truly care mention it to her counselor and tell her counselor that you are NOT sure if she is serious or not. Your counselor will know how to handle it and your friend not make the mistake of trying drugs..

51days · May 8, 2007, 01:23 PM

OK yea that's a good idea ill start working on a way to get in contact with her social worker and shell be able to go from there I don't know how but ill find a way shouldn't be to hard I'm sneeky. As for the after school program she probably wouldn't do that she usuly has stuff to keep her busy and it wouldn't be so hard. But now on to the other part that I frogot to mention last post and I figure ill let you guys in on it sense your all being a really big help she smokes weed occasionally but she's moving to a group home today and she keeps going on about how she's going to be smoking weed every morning with her friend before getting on the buss now I'm not one to worry about pot and there really isn't much advice you can give me about this matter. But it does make me think she is doing it for the attention I think she likes the idea that I'm stepping in and trying to convince her not to do stuff which basically shows her that I care about her. I duno all I can do is try and get in contact with her social worker.. thanks a lot for your help and ill contact you soon as I get her name and number and keep you guys up to date...

fix-what-you-broke · May 16, 2007, 09:59 AM

My mother was an addict for 17 years. Its funny, she just wanted to try it also.
The thing is you don't have control over these things once you start.
As well as her own my mother destroyed 2 lives, mine and my sons.
Her first husband died of a drug overdose when he was 19, it was the firt time he did E. he didn't get a chance to see his first wedding anniversary. Its not worth it really is it?
If she wants to mess her life up, I say good luck to her,she will need it.

pergammano · May 31, 2007, 06:20 AM

This is such a delicate situation, a burden to big for you to carry without the help of professional intervention. Seriously take heed of the words of; brandy681,isabelle & AW805. I am afraid that if you get pulled too deeply into this foray, without the "tools & skills" to handle this problem, you will be affected deeply/possibly adversely, too! Please look after yourself in this matter!

isabelle · Jun 2, 2007, 12:44 PM

I have to tell you this... before she takes said drug... she has the drug in her "possession". Then you both could be arrested if you are with her when she gets caught.
I am glad to hear that you feel better about your friend.
Thank you for the update.

isabelle · Jun 2, 2007, 12:45 PM

I forgot about "public intoxication" also being against the law.
Again.. Good Luck.

honey2700 · Jun 3, 2007, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

First off you can tell her that many people die even the first time they try E.

You don't die the first time you do E. I've been addicted to it plus every drug you can think of and I was doing E for 6 months every weekend taking about 6 tablets every time and I lived through it. Plus I was doing coke, crack, weed and drinking with it. It'd be stupid to tell her you can die because everyone knows they only say that to scare children into not doing it. That's not the right thing to say to an adult. The only thing people die from doing it is dehydration anyway. It's not even over dosings.

isabelle · Jun 3, 2007, 11:46 AM

Honey, I think J_9 said "MANY" people die with first time drug use. Not ALL people. You are a very lucky lady and I hope your luck continues but luck does change.
I want to clear another thing up. People DO OVERDOSE and die. I don't know where you are getting this misinformation, but please don't pass it along.
I truly do not understand why some one would take a gamble like that with there life. I also think that any responsible person would tell an adult or a child the truth.
That is what J_9 did... she told the truth. It is irresponsible of anyone to encourage any kind of drug use.

honey2700 · Jun 3, 2007, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by isabelle

Honey, I think J_9 said "MANY" people die with first time drug use. Not ALL people. You are a very lucky lady and I hope your luck continues but luck does change.
I want to clear another thing up. People DO OVERDOSE and die. I don't know where you are getting this misinformation, but please don't pass it along.
I truly do not understand why some one would take a gamble like that with there life. I also think that any responsible person would tell an adult or a child the truth.
That is what J_9 did........... she told the truth. It is irresponsible of anyone to encourage any kind of drug use.

My information comes from doing it and about 45 friends that done it. Im not saying drugs are good there horriable and the f**k your life up bad and I wish there was no such thing as drugs. I just get pissed when people say you die from E. Back in the 90's it wasn't MDMA that was used in E and everyone was dying from it. Now since they changed it its rare to die from it.:cool:

pergammano · Jun 4, 2007, 04:51 AM

An ounce of prevention. I really think that if you are in the middle of this environment, it would be wise for you to seek counselling for yourself. You will then "have the tools" to protect yourself and assist her to find a better path. It goes without saying, your friend needs counselling & guidance, and you can lead her there (she may NOT accept) but at least you have put your best foot forward. Good luck!