[DiabloDude]

I need sum serious help :P I turn 15 in like 3 days and I want my tongue pierced. I no that I can have it done behind her bk but I dopnt want to betray my mother's trust, I will if no other option presents itself but thts like the worste case. I've been wanting it done for over 4 years now and I really really want it done. My dad dusn'y seem to bothered about it but my mother says it sends out a negative image of a person and also she says it gives out a sexual preference that she dusn't think is suitable for someone of my age. Can any one help me to convince her?
thanks

[tickle]

Along with the sexual image idea there is also the hygiene idea. I have heard of two cases already whereby two people have received a rampant oral infection from tongue piercings. One girl spent $4000. To have her mouth stripped apart and put back together again because of a tongue piercing. If that isn't scary (and costly), I don't know what is. Count your blessings that you haven't done it yet!

[DiabloDude]

Along with the sexual image idea there is also the hygeine idea. I have heard of two cases already whereby two people have received a rampant oral infection from tongue piercings. One girl spent $4000. to have her mouth stripped apart and put back together again because of a tongue piercing. If that isnt scary (and costly), I dont know what is. Count your blessings that you havent done it yet !!

I still want it done though :P I've wanted it done for about 4 years and I've heard almost all the arguments for and against it. And as for the person who had to have her mouth stripped and everythin I symphasise with her but also she should have gon eto a better piercer

[tickle]

I can't argue with your logic about a better technician, but the fact remains that infections can and will happen. The reasons put forth by a dentist was that the tongue piercing can cause broken teeth and the constant rubbing on the roof of the mouth can wear away tissue and therefore cause infections. You may not realize it, but infections in the mouth can transfer to the blood stream and factually known to cause heart attacks. If you have it done, and you seem to be a determined person and obviously have thought it out, just keep a close eye on what's going on inside your mouth so you can stop a distaster before it actually happens. Good luck !

[J_9]

Simply put, Mom says no, as long as you live in her house, under her roof, you live by her laws. If you still want it done when you are 18 and out on your own, then do it. But until then do what your parents say.

[DiabloDude]

Simply put, Mom says no, as long as you live in her house, under her roof, you live by her laws. If you still want it done when you are 18 and out on your own, then do it. But until then do what your parents say.

I can see where your coming from with its her house and everything but put simply my dad doesn't mind, he says its fine and although I don't want them to fight over something so petty, shouldn't they at least give me the chioce to make my own decision instead of having to be confined to there laws and rules? I understand that they are the parents and I'mt eh child but does that give them the right to control my descions and chioces? I don't think so and I'm quite sure you don't either... I've looked at the facts and everything about it and as far as I can tell yes there's a threat in it but also there a threat in everythin we do? Not trying to make your answer seem ridiculous or anything but surely you have to agree that having your descions make for you isn't the right way of treating your child?

[J_9]

I do see your points, as my children have made some of those exact points to me. BTW they are 21, 19, 13 and 5. So I do have a little experience with young adults your age.

Your Mom said no, she is looking out for the best intrests of you and your health. Dad really didn't say yes, did he? He just wants to make you and Mom both happy.

When it comes to altering your body in any way, shape, or form, your mother is looking out for you.

When making a decision about what to wear when you go out with friends, you can make that decision, but she makes the decisions concerning your health and well being.

If she says no, the answer is no. No arguments from the peanut gallery. When you are 18 and you move out, go ahead. But until that time, when it comes to altering your body, you listen to your mom.

[DiabloDude]

So you beliee its right that she makes the decisions concerning my health and that my dad doesn't? Because he said he doesn't mind isn't that the same as a yes? But the piont is when I'm 16 I can legally sign the form by myself without parental consent yet my mother still refuses to let me do that even. Is that correct in your eyes?

[J_9]

Yes, it is. You see many fathers do not take an active role in the health care of their children.

How many times did your dad take you to the doctor as a child?

Men hardly even take care of their own helath unless they are nagged by a loved one, let alone make health decisions regarding others.

Now, (I sound like a broken record) as long as you live under her roof, you live by her rules when it comes to your health.

No means No. She said no and she means it.

As a mother I can understand her thoughts on this and would by all means do the same to my children. If one of them were to come home with (I shudder the thought) a pierced tongue, I would have them take it out immediately.

So just listen to your mother, she is doing what is best for you whether you realize it now or not. But you will realize it when you have a 15 year old yourself.

[DiabloDude]

Well I understand your reasoning but if I am allowed to sign for it myself do you still think it would be right for my mother to say that I shouldn't have and that I should take it out? I mean once its done, then its done, she can't do any about it

[J_9]

Yes, as long as you live in her house, under her rules, she has every right to demand that you take it out.

"Once it is done, it is done" LOL, it will heal over and you will have a big fight on your hands because you did not respect your mother. And yes, she can do a lot about it and I suspect she will. I know I would.

[Fr_Chuck]

Look if you are looking for someone here to say your mom is wrong, it ain't going to happen, at 15 to adults you are still a child, I know you don't think of yourself as one, but to be honest having one is going to hurt how people look at you. And yes it will change the impression people have of you, and it will change the impression people have of your parents, ( basically good parents don't let their kids do that) at least in better levels of society.
And to be honest as you grow older it is going to keep you from getting better jobs, you will not see sales managers, you will not see doctors, and lawyers with them, Look at all of the professional people, who make higher earnings, and see what percent have such things. Maybe 1 or 2 percent at tops. And yes adults will prejudge you by this.

Next your dad may be just saying that because he is knowing your mom is saying no, and does not have to put his foot down either, parents play games like that.

But in the end, you listen to your parents, since you have no other choice.

And of course she can do something about it, make you take it out, and not use it, she can take your computer away, ground you, and make your life a living >>>>> I know I would any of my children who were stupid enough to directly disobey me.

[tickle]

No she can't do anything about it after the fact, but she can hurt a lot because you went against her wishes. Do you really want to hurt her that much, trust me, I would be and I love my son greatly. Are you doing this to prove a point, to appear hip to your friends. I hate to tell you this but friends are not forever but your mom is your friend and soul mate until the day she dies. Think about it.

Heavy stuff you say... well, yes it is, caring and loving is and it is well worth it in the long run.

[DiabloDude]

No she can't do anything about it after the fact, but she can hurt a lot because you went against her wishes. Do you really want to hurt her that much, trust me, I would be and I love my son greatly. Are you doing this to prove a point, to appear hip to your friends. I hate to tell you this but friends are not forever but your mom is your friend and soul mate until the day she dies. Think about it.

Heavy stuff you say...well, yes it is, caring and loving is and it is well worth it in the long run.

First non of my friends have any piercings lol except some of the girls but that's about it and I don't want to hurt my mom its just I think that I should be allowed to make my own decisions about my own body. But I accept that I can't do it until I can sign for it myself or I've moved out and I thank everyone for helping me consider the consiquences of what I might of done. But what happens in the future is still uncertain. We'll have to wait and see :D thanks to everyone who contributed to this post :D

[brandy681]

You should wait until you can get it done on your own because I know from experience if you go behind her back she will be VERY hurt and angry too. How old can you get it done on your own, 16? I am not sure but 16 sounds like a decent age and your mother will see how resonsible you are. You could also try compromising and tell your mom that if you still want the ring on your 16th birthday you should be able to get it. She will probably give in, thinking by then YOU will change your mind and then when she sees that you want it bad you will get it. I am not sure though because you probably have to be 18 to sign for yourself and you definitelty need to get it done professionally and your mom can sue if they do it without her promition. Do you think that you will change your mind about it later on? This is probably your mothers concern for you.. 15 year olds change their minds frequently and you need to convince your mom that this is something that you definitey want to have.

[brandy681]

Another thing you say is you should have responsibility over your own body but you have to undestand that your mom is just looking out for you. You are 15 and trust me when I say that you are not capable entirely of making decisions on your own and that is why there is AGE LIMITS on things like drinking alcohol, piercings, etc. Trust me, please because I used to say the same thing when I was your age but you will not believe how things in your life change. This may not be one of them and you may still want a piercing when you are 25 years old but you should wait a little while and see if things change. Do research and look into the right piering places, tattoo parlors ets. I used to want a tattoo for about 6 years and now I changed my mind totally. Things will effect you like you don't know so be patient and wait just a little while longer and you can get the piercing on your own and your mothers faith and trust in you will still be there. You are 15 and this can effect your mom for life, and you will regret waiting. If you don't regret the piercing you will regret waiting and you will feel better also because you know that you did it the RIGHT WAY!

[sillylittlenoodle]

Hey
I no how yew feel about getting a tongue ring cause I'm going through kind of the same thing but wiff me dad what has kind of worked 4 meh is this... tell your mom that the reason yew are getting it is not to give people the wrong impression (sexual) but cause yew lyk them, about the negative image thing that's not realli true a tongue ring can't realli give off a negative impression (also yew should tell your mom that yew can't always not get something cause other people will think its gross or wrong, its what you believe that counts!),, Tell her how it works to get one (the whole thing on how they do the piercing.) and, well also don’t go and get your tongue done without their permission, trust meh yew will never gain there trust completely ever! Hope that helps a little! :D :)

p.s: J-9 she is WAY over reacting! WoW!

[Rockabilly1955mama]

Simply put, Mom says no, as long as you live in her house, under her roof, you live by her laws. If you still want it done when you are 18 and out on your own, then do it. But until then do what your parents say.

J_9 did it again! :D
I agree.

[Heatherr_brapp]

I was in the same situation as you. I wanted mine Pierced at age 14 but when I asked my mom immediately snapped back with a definite no. She said I couldn't get it until I was 18. So, to keep my mind off it for the next few years I just got other Piercings. I'm now 7 and a half months away from my 18th birthday and just today decided to give it another try asking. Unbelievably, my mom said yes! So my advice is occasionally bring up the subject but do not push it when she says no! And you never know, she may cave in sooner than you think.

[tickle]

Hi heatherrrrrrrrrrrr, this original post is from 2007, I don't think your response makes a difference and proabably a waste of time. Start your own thread and get answers.