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jamimay · May 4, 2007, 12:08 AM

Hi! I'm married dor 4 years already and have 2 kids. I discovered that my husband uses drugs 2 years ago and until now. But he told me that he already stopped using drugs. His behavior changes, irritable and always asking for more money. I try to understand him. Hoiw will I know that he is still using shabu or ice drug. What will I do so that I can't aggravate his situation? Help me. I love my husband. I hope he will, overcome it. Thank you.

jamimay

Krs · May 4, 2007, 12:19 AM

Have you suggest counselling?

isabelle · May 4, 2007, 02:40 AM

You stated "his behavior changes, irritable and always asking for more money".. that is how you will know he is still using.
I hate to rain on any one who wants to help an addict but the truth is you can not help them and standing by your man may not be the best idea. I know this sounds harsh but you have children to think of.

augustknight · May 7, 2007, 08:42 PM

All addicts lie. Quite well I'm afraid.

Krs · May 7, 2007, 11:56 PM

Originally Posted by augustknight

All addicts lie. Quite well I'm afraid.

So true and they also put their addiction first!

irie20024 · May 8, 2007, 12:16 AM

Originally Posted by jamimay

hi! im married dor 4 years already and have 2 kids. i discovered that my husband uses drugs 2 years ago and until now. but he told me that he already stopped using drugs. his behavior changes, irritable and always asking for more money. i try to understand him. hoiw will i know that he is still using shabu or ice drug. what will i do so that i can't aggravate his situation? help me. i love my husband. i hope he will, overcome it. thank you.

jamimay

It all depends on what type of drugs he is using, just pray to the GOD LEAVE IT IN HIS HANDS PRAY NIGHT AND DAY FOR GOD TO DELIVER HIM AND RELEASE HIM TO YOU, AND GET HIM AWAY FROM THESE NO GOOD DRUGS, also try I know it will be hard but try to sit him down when he is in a normal state of mind and tell him how much you love him and how you want ot help him to recover, possibly consider a halfway house just to get him back on track, just some recommendations for you

J_9 · May 8, 2007, 06:38 AM

I am sorry you are in such turmoil in your marriage, but you must understand that drugs are very powerful substances. The addict is a professional manipulator and will manipulate EVERY aspect of your life.

You say he asks for money. What does he do when you won't give it to him?

I am sorry to say that the ONLY way he will get clean and sober is when he is ready to. There is nothing you can do or say that will curb or stop his addiction. The addict will only get help when he is ready to do so on his own. It is a shame, but the typical addict looses EVERYTHING before admitting to a problem. They usually have to hit rock bottom before asking for help.

With that said, it is important that you decide if you want to expose your children to this, as it is harmful for their mental and emotional growth and development. I applaud you wanting to stand by your husband and be supportive, however, sometimes the only way to be supportive is to leave the addict. Once an addict loses the ones they love, they usually see the error of their ways and seek help.

Good luck to you, I will keep you in my thoughts.

hampton wife · May 9, 2007, 06:08 AM

Sorry To Hear This, I Am Going Through The Same Thing With My Husband Of 9 Yrs, Not Sure How To Handle It, But 9 Yrs, 2 Children, And The Marriage Vows I Took, Remind Me Of What I Need To Do... I Stayed And Pray That Things Will Work Out,for You And For Me.. good Luck!

isabelle · May 9, 2007, 11:21 AM

The hardest thing to do is leave and the most dangerous time. They see the meal ticket, so to speak, leaving.
I admire the courage it takes to make this decision, but it is the only one that can be made.
One can not put the children at risk , no matter the time invested or the love given. One also deserves a good life and life with an addict can never be good
Good luck and keep us informed..

mag oblivious · Jun 30, 2007, 02:35 AM

It sounds a lot like my life. I hope for the sake of your children that he's not using. Whatever decision you make, remember your kids.

jhmmr · Sep 2, 2007, 10:17 AM

You have to find out what triggers him to want to do it. When you know steer clear of it. It may be drinking depression etc. maybe he needs help. Some people like the addiction so much they don't care who they hurt in the process as long as they get high. I understand wanting to stick by him for the kids and marriage but you have to stand your ground as well. Good luck it is hard.

gwinley4 · Jan 27, 2008, 04:06 PM

Ihave a friend who's on crack but before he uses he makes sure he handles all his family
And personal obilagations. What should is wife do.Everything is good but the drug use.

gwinley4 · Jan 27, 2008, 04:07 PM

:cool: Pray he gets free

et2332 · Feb 25, 2008, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by jamimay

hi! im married dor 4 years already and have 2 kids. i discovered that my husband uses drugs 2 years ago and until now. but he told me that he already stopped using drugs. his behavior changes, irritable and always asking for more money. i try to understand him. hoiw will i know that he is still using shabu or ice drug. what will i do so that i can't aggravate his situation? help me. i love my husband. i hope he will, overcome it. thank you.

jamimay

I am a former addict. All you can really do is offer your support and hope that it gets through to him without enabling him.

desperatewifey · Jan 13, 2011, 05:00 AM

I just recently found out, that my husband, who was my 10 year boyfriend, before getting married has been a user. It hurts so much and I don't know what to do anymore, I pray to god that he will be enlightened by his actions. His friends told me that he is indeed using, but every time I confront him about it, he denies it totally. I love him, but I will not tolerate his actions. The one thing hard for me is that it's only me who has an idea , amongst his family, that he is using drugs. Please help me pray for my husband, that he maybe enlightened with what's going on in his life.