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Fritzane · Apr 26, 2007, 07:57 PM

It's high time I start rethinking my efforts to get marry.My parents told me I still need time and money to do so.But I have friends who are already enjoying their kids and wife now.If I don't get married too soon I guess having a baby will be the only solution so that my parents will have no option than to ask me to continue with the relationship.Please tell me what to do.Can I go ahead with my plans?I need a wife to call me 'honey' and 'darling' too.I need a child to call me 'dad'.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 26, 2007, 09:29 PM

Well if you are 25 , then get married, your parents can't stop you.

If you are 14 ( and it sounds like it) you need to wait till you are mature enough.
You can expect the wife to also tell you to pick up the house, get out and get a second job to pay the bills, tell you to shut up, tell you not to go out with your friends and so on.

And after the child calls you dad, you have diapers to change, throw up to clean up and 1000's in doctor bills to pay.

vlee · Apr 26, 2007, 09:29 PM

WHOA! Don't go making a baby just to gain your parents' support for a relationship! Let's make a list of objectives here: (By the way, they only apply if you are an adult)

STEP ONE: Find a nice girl and date for a good long while
STEP TWO: Don't listen to your parents telling you what choices to make
STEP THREE: Propose if you love her and can't imagine your life without her... EVER
STEP FOUR: Get married
STEP FIVE: Have a whole soccer team of kids if you like

Now, let's address some other things... how old are you? Are you ready to settle down, or are you trying to "fit in" with what your friends have done? Could you just be rebelling against your parents' expectations? Is there someone special? Bear this in mind, even though divorce is rampant, it is not meant to be a safety net for people who aren't ready to be married. It isn't supposed to be an "out". So before you get married you need to know you are doing it for the right reasons and with every intention of walking the extra mile over and over. I hope you really think about this because as exhilarating as being a newlywed is, being a divorcée is more harrowing. Good luck.

brazygirl08 · Apr 26, 2007, 10:31 PM

Yea how old are you?

Krs · Apr 27, 2007, 12:46 AM

Don't just have a baby as a solution... a child is not a solution, a child is person comes to this world to be loved by its parents.
However, its depending all on your age and maturity.

I can't really give you advice without knowing your age because if you are 16 its one things whilst if you are 30 its another.

gypsy456 · Apr 29, 2007, 03:58 PM

I think you should first grow up...

JoeCanada76 · Apr 29, 2007, 04:08 PM

First - Your not mature enough to have a wife, and your not mature enough to be a dad.

Second - Marriage is between two people that love each other.

Third - After being in marriage, when two people love each other and they decide to bring a child into the world because there love is pure and strong and they have the means of taking care of a baby.

Fourth - You have shown in your post that you want to get married for the wrong reasons and you want to be a dad for the wrong reasons.

Fifth - Your plans will fail and you will have a life of turmoil if you think you should go ahead with these plans.

Joe

Fritzane · Apr 30, 2007, 10:49 PM

Thanks folks for your advice.
I realised my parents just want me to be a man before getting married they are very stern and blunt when it comes to my love life and they don't even want to see me go to parties with friends but to stay at home and study.They prefer to see me successful before getting into 'for better or for worst issues' or matrimonial irregularities and hurdles at my tender age of 20.

However,my classmates are now talking of babies and their parents take good care for their babies.Some unmarried,some affianced,some still in their boyfriend and girlfriend stages.I really want to get married.I strongly believe I can make it...

JoeCanada76 · May 1, 2007, 01:32 AM

Originally Posted by Fritzane

Thanks folks for your advice.
I realised my parents just want me to be a man before getting married they are very stern and blunt when it comes to my love life and they don't even want to see me go to parties with friends but to stay at home and study.They prefer to see me successful before getting into 'for better or for worst issues' or matrimonial irregularities and hurdles at my tender age of 20.

However,my classmates are now talking of babies and their parents take good care for their babies.Some unmarried,some affianced,some still in their bf and gf stages.I really want to get married.I strongly believe I can make it...

You really need to wait at least another 5 or 10 years when maybe then you will be more mature and actually ready for the responsibility. Your not right now, so I think it is best you listen to your parents, if you do not then your just going to fall flat on your face. Its your life and your choice but no matter what they know you and how immature you are and unprepared you are. Did you have a sheltered life, that could be part of your parents fault but eventually you will need to do your own thing and mess up on your own. Some people learn the hard way.

Joe

gypsy456 · May 1, 2007, 07:56 PM

Originally Posted by Fritzane

Thanks folks for your advice.
I realised my parents just want me to be a man before getting married they are very stern and blunt when it comes to my love life and they don't even want to see me go to parties with friends but to stay at home and study.They prefer to see me successful before getting into 'for better or for worst issues' or matrimonial irregularities and hurdles at my tender age of 20.

However,my classmates are now talking of babies and their parents take good care for their babies.Some unmarried,some affianced,some still in their bf and gf stages.I really want to get married.I strongly believe I can make it...

Your parents are absolutely right when it comes to paying attention to your study before you get into "for better or worst issues..." and how about enjoying your life before you tie the now.. you are 20!!
See the world, travel, gain experience, live your life to the fullest before you start thinking marriage and baby's...

You strongly believe you can make it ?
But why on earth at the tender age of 20...

And doesn't it take 2 to tango ?

First learn the tango and the variations and then... hit the dance floor.
Life is too short, enjoy it first... you are 20, not 40.. .

Good Luck

lilkittenx2 · May 1, 2007, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by Fritzane

It's high time I start rethinking my efforts to get marry.My parents told me I still need time and money to do so.But I have friends who are already enjoying their kids and wife now.If I don't get married too soon I guess having a baby will be the only solution so that my parents will have no option than to ask me to continue with the relationship.Please tell me what to do.Can I go ahead with my plans?I need a wife to call me 'honey' and 'darling' too.I need a child to call me 'dad'.

Well it isn't your parents decision its yours. Its good you want a family but it is good that you don't have it to soon. You don't want to rush into it. Especially with the wrong person either.