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    MeadowlarkJess's Avatar
    MeadowlarkJess Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 5, 2019, 12:50 PM
    Friend recently accused of abuse - Friend doesn't remember but owns up anyway
    A dear friend of mine of many years was recently accused by someone I hardly know of having abused this person a long time ago.

    This person doesn't remember the accuser or the abuse, but seems horrified by it and is willing to own up to it and wants to identify and stop any abusive behaviours within themselves.

    I'm just wondering what I should make of my friend's response is all. She seems Genuine to me and that is what I'm going on at this point.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Dec 5, 2019, 12:56 PM
    What kind of abuse? Physical? Emotional? Sexual?
    MeadowlarkJess's Avatar
    MeadowlarkJess Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 5, 2019, 01:06 PM
    Unwanted Attention..... All I (and my friend) can think is that she probably inadvertently flirted with this person..... My friend and I are both Autistic and as such can sometimes be aloof to how our actions might be mistaken for something entirely different by other people.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Dec 5, 2019, 01:22 PM
    How old is your friend and her accuser?
    MeadowlarkJess's Avatar
    MeadowlarkJess Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Dec 5, 2019, 01:37 PM
    My friend is 34.... I believe the accuser is about the same age, give or take a year.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    Dec 5, 2019, 02:11 PM
    I'm trying to figure out where the abuse is in this. Being guilty of flirting isn't abuse. Good grief! So many guys flirted with me over the years. What am I missing? How is this abuse?
    MeadowlarkJess's Avatar
    MeadowlarkJess Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Dec 5, 2019, 02:58 PM
    Same thing I'm wondering, Wondergirl.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #8

    Dec 5, 2019, 03:04 PM
    I certainly wouldn't apologize for flirting!

    Was the abuse given a name and definition?
    MeadowlarkJess's Avatar
    MeadowlarkJess Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Dec 5, 2019, 03:49 PM
    No. The so-called "victim" was extremely vague about what was supposedly done.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #10

    Dec 5, 2019, 04:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by MeadowlarkJess View Post
    No. The so-called "victim" was extremely vague about what was supposedly done.
    Then all the more reason your friend need not apologize. I am married to a guy on the autism spectrum and our adult son was diagnosed with Asperger's. I can't imagine what was done that was so "unwanted."
    MeadowlarkJess's Avatar
    MeadowlarkJess Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Dec 5, 2019, 04:15 PM
    Y'all have totally missed the point. I wasn't asking if they should apologize. I was asking what I should make of their response to this information.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #12

    Dec 5, 2019, 04:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by MeadowlarkJess View Post
    Y'all have totally missed the point. I wasn't asking if they should apologize. I was asking what I should make of their response to this information.
    I would let my friend handle it as she thinks best.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Dec 5, 2019, 06:45 PM
    You make nothing of it unless more is revealed and you gain a better understanding of the whole situation. Realize that may or may not happen, and you will never know what to make of it.

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