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New Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 10:59 AM
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Bad email for EX
I dated this man for a year in a half. We broke up 2 months ago, I tried to be friends with him and he said he was not ready. I just recently emailed him and told him he did not have to email me back.
He emailed me that he has had a tough couple weeks , he thought he had throughout cancer but is was diagnosed as cist in his throat due to allergies. He asked how I was..
I emailed back that I was kick boxing and taking ball room dancing lessons, I eluded that I went out with a younger man (29 years ) and I am 40 years old, and this guy is quite the world wind. I also told him good luck with the throat problem. I was in a hurry and was rather flippant about this younger man and I his throat issue.
I did not mean to be insensitive but I am sure he may think that...
What do you recommend I do , I am sure he does not want to hear from me again based on this email...
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New Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 11:04 AM
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Break ups are hard, and most of the time friendships can't remain after you split. Let him get over you and leave him alone. In time he may want to talk or be friends until then live your lives separately. Hope this Helps
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Senior Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 11:05 AM
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I've been through the same thing honey! What you should do is send him another one as soon as possible. Let him know the cirumstances under writing the email. Such as being in a hurry. Make sure you have time to write this one. :p
Just let him know your feelings towards him. I hope all works out good!
And I'm sorry to hear about his throat. That must be horrible.
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New Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by justaskchefnic
Break ups are hard, and most of the time friendships can't remain after you split. Let him get over you and leave him alone. In time he may want to talk or be friends until then live your lives seperately. Hope this Helps
Do you think he got hurt by this email, or did he write it off as what a B----!
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Ultra Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 01:17 PM
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I think your looking too much into it, you broke up and are slowly becoming friends, just send another email when you have some new news to share and just say (very briefly) something to the effect that your sorry your last email was so short, you were very busy that day.
But don't make it become a big issue, your friends and often a short email to catch up is fine, if you dwell on hoping you didn't hurt his feelings he might look too far into it.
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New Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 01:27 PM
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I also should mention, I have three young children all boys. (13) , (9) and (6) they did not like this man. They told me he yelled too much, I could not do what I wanted to do, and it got to a point where they did not even want to be around this man or his daughter. Too much Drama, now that we are broken up, I have made a promise to myself . NEVER LET THE MAN MEET MY CHILDREN! My boys are very improtant to me and I made a horrible judgement call in this relationship!
Do you think children should not meet possible boyfriends ?
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Full Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 01:39 PM
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Unless you're sure of your boyfriend yourself, don't get him to meet any of your family members because family is meant to be a personal matter... so u should try taking things slow unless he respects you and your views about people who r close to you...
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Ultra Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 01:44 PM
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Only one question: Did he break up with you?
If so, you have a little more latitude in sharing that you have moved on and personal details that you wish to share. If you broke up with him, I have to say I find your comments a bit... insensitive. And I would think he would too.
Does he need to know you are dating a young guy?
A cyst is not a great source of humor - but if you felt jilted I can see how you'd like to show that you are not overly sensitive now.
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New Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 01:56 PM
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To answer yuquestion , I had one foot in relationship and one foot out the door. I will say he was becoming a drain on the brain, I wanted the relationship more so after we had broken up (the first two weeks) but in the big scheme of things the third week , I was out and about with friends, dancing lessons and back into kick boxing .
I did not email him with anty intention of malice or anger. I just had to go and I really look at him as a friend now just as if I was emailing one of my girlfriends or other guy friends. Once the "relationship" has been labeled a friendship I don't look back. I move ahead and truly hope that we can be friends with no inabitions about our personal lives. Though I do have to tell you this man is very sensitive and he cried , literally cried about personal problems, work related problems, family, etc.. HE IS THE EPITIMY OF DRAMA!
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Expert
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Apr 19, 2007, 02:00 PM
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Do you think children should not meet possible boyfriends ?
Absolutely not. Until you know them very well, and can assess them, they have no business being allowed in your home.
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New Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 02:02 PM
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You are correct! After this last relationship, My boys will not meet any man!
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Ultra Member
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Apr 19, 2007, 05:46 PM
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Ok, "one foot out the door", but who broke up with whom?
Anyway, it sounds like you are well-over him...
But to answer your question: "What do you recommend I do?"
Be brief.
Be polite.
Be gone. There's nothing either of you all can possibly say for at least 6 months.
Too much history.
Were you too flippant?
Who knows? But emailing an Ex if you were the BREAKER is in bad taste. Unless it has been many months or something critical has happened in your life or something has changed in your heart.
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Expert
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Apr 19, 2007, 08:32 PM
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You've put him in the friend zone and a simple apology, should suffice, but in no way give him a false hope to think he has a chance at something more than friendship, so short and non personal is the way to go for now.
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Junior Member
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Apr 20, 2007, 12:35 PM
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Chica, did you initiate the breakup or did he? This is an important point in assessing how he must feel and to answer your questions.
If my ex dumped me and wrote that he was so happy without me and went out with someone else, I would be angry, hurt, and yes, I would think "what a ****". I doubt if I would send back a lovey dovey email either.
If you dumped him and he said he is not ready to be friends, leave him alone.
Which was it?
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