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InSearchOfAnswers · Apr 18, 2007, 10:56 AM

I feel like I'm in the minority... a lot of my friends are married and have affairs, but I don't agree with that and sometimes feel like I'm one of a kind...

Its not like Ive had trouble getting dates in the past... I'm a good looking guy, nice, treat people with respect, successful, etc and I have turned down more sex than I have actually received... that's not bragging, but sometimes I feel weird since I need an emotional connection with a woman, not just a hot bod... I have been given the green light by some very hot women, but I didn't feel anything (didnt really see it going anywhere, didn't see them as potential GFs, etc) so I passed... my thinking was its probably better in the long run. Don't cross that line, don't make things awkward...

Don't get me wrong, I have had a more than few short flings with girls, but there was always - initially - some kind of emotional 'click' that happened before we eventually went our own way...

Emotionally-charged sex/love just seems so much more fullfilling... any other guys out there feel the same way?

DragonFire · Apr 18, 2007, 11:00 AM

Hi,

Its really good that you feel that way. I'm impressed.

Allheart · Apr 18, 2007, 11:04 AM

Hi - I'm not a guy - but if I may speak anyway :)

NO you are not weird, there is a name for you though and that is...

A true MAN. A real Man. One that would take any girls breath away with your views!!

Good for you - The qualities that you possess are far more attractive then those that you see in some of the males around you.

See, if you truly have confidence in yourself, you don't need a herim. You are strong in who you are and as I said before - that, to me, is a real man, and one that takes your breath away.

No, nothing weird about you at all.

Rockabilly1955mama · Apr 18, 2007, 11:05 AM

You are not a werid guy at all. You are also not a typically one who is a dog. Which is a marvilous thing if I may add. :D

Matt3046 · Apr 18, 2007, 11:14 AM

What you have got to remember is that some guys will take any opportunity, (no matter) to fool around. Just because you are not trying to get a disease, doesn't mean there is anything wrong.

EnglishRose · Apr 18, 2007, 11:59 AM

The reason you seem alone is that most men take around 30 years to discover what you already know. Women love mature men!

smoothy · Apr 18, 2007, 12:42 PM

Hey, what that means is you married the right woman. Good going and no reason to feel guilty.

51days · Apr 18, 2007, 01:52 PM

yea I have input on this one I'm actuly just like you I don't see the point unless there is something there. To what degree to I stick to this well I'm 20 and I'm still a vergin and I'm not afraid to say it I have my values and I have my morals I have yet to find someone worth my time shur maby once I do get laid that will change but till then I'm staying this way till I find someone I care about a lot and I understand how you feel when I tell people this there like!! I've also talkd to a lot of my felmail friends about this and turnd down there offers ;) but all think its prety sweet that that's how I feel. And most of them don't beleav I'm real

ordinaryguy · Apr 18, 2007, 04:12 PM

Originally Posted by InSearchOfAnswers

Emotionally-charged sex/love just seems so much more fullfilling ... any other guys out there feel the same way?

Sure. You're not as unusual as you might think. I think most of us figure out before too long that sex without emotional connection is pretty unsatisfying. A few never figure it out.

JoeCanada76 · Apr 18, 2007, 04:37 PM

Your not weird at all. I understand exactly what your saying. I wish more people could actually feel that way. It is good that you asked this question.

Yes, being emotionally attached is very important to me. That connection is a true connection.

Joe

AKaeTrue · Apr 18, 2007, 09:35 PM

Don't feel weird... You have a wonderful quality about you.
Some people who don't share your same views will grow up one day only to wish they had a different outlook on sex when they were younger.

Hopefully you'll find a wonderful woman someday that shares your same views and hasn't been around the block either...
What a wonderful relationship that will make...

EnglishRose · Apr 19, 2007, 03:03 AM

I tried to explain this to my frieend last night, but she was having none of it so maybe it isn't just guys who take a long time to catch on!

Jiser · Apr 19, 2007, 03:35 AM

I don't think I could sleep about. I am curious to find out but I know it wouldn't be fulfilling, I want to be with that someone special who I care about.

I don't feel the need to kiss random people in clubs where a lot of people on a Saturday night in clubs including my ex want to do. I think its horrible, random people I mean common :(

Find that special person, its so much better ;)

phoenix1664 · Apr 19, 2007, 03:39 AM

You are not being weird in the slites you are just being a gentleman, wanting to have a connection with someone before anything happens is a good thing and very comendable also extreemely hard to find in people lattely, I would say you are just being respectful

iAMfromHuntersBar · Apr 19, 2007, 03:47 AM

I think it's just that a lot of men don't think about the consequences of their actions!

I mean, if they really sat and thought about how devastated their wife / girfriend / children / family / friends would be if they found out about it, and really, REALLY weighed up that with having an affair, I think they would think twice!

I mean, cheating on a girlfriend is one thing, but when you stand up at that altar and PROMISE in front of your nearest and dearest that you love this person and you won't let any harm come to them, it's a whole different kettle of fish!

But most men don't think our brains do we? :D

EnglishRose · Apr 19, 2007, 04:41 AM

I understand how people can kiss strangers and have one night stands when they are young and single. At 18 I was no angel. But I will never understand why people do it once they are in a relationship, especially a marriage and even less when there are children involved.

InSearchOfAnswers · Apr 26, 2007, 10:06 AM

Well I'm not married but many of my good friends are

I just feel like an outcast (internally)... I just want my girl.

I don't feel there is an need or desire for me to pursue other women, and I don't feel any notion that I'm missing out on anything... but there's still something there

Is that crazy?

I guess it all ties into my other questions. I just wish I didn't feel like I 'share' my GF with her old flames. *sigh*

Thanks for all the feedback. Its great to hear honest, real discussion