[Lynn2]

Ahhh, this has been driving me nuts for awhile now, because I have such strong feelings for my manager. He is 33 and I'm 18 :(. We are constantly flirting with each other, and he waits for me after work every night and follows me half way home. He is extremely nice to me, and always wants me to switch shifts if I'm not working with him. We sit in the office and talk all day, and when I ask him about if I was supposed to get something done, he just says "Why dont you just sit and talk to me, and ill help you later." and he tells me to not worry about doing things. I found out that he is married. But I don't think he knows I know and he always avoids those type of subjects and he doesn't wear a ring. I am really mature for my age, and it is always to find mature guys around my age and I think that is why I'm so attractive to him... he wants me to call and come talk to him when he is working this week?! And I know you're all thinking that he is just a typical guy blah blah, but he is not at all, I've never met a more sweeter funnier handsomer (word?) than him. I just don't know what to think? Please all your opinions and comments will help me out.

[shygrneyzs]

Draw the line with this guy and stick to it. He is married! He is looking for someone naïve and vulnerable to have an affair with - which is you! Being so mature for your age, you ought to know that getting more involved with guy is going to cost you. If you are so sure that he is just so handsome and sweet and fun and flirty and helpful and so concerned about you, why don't you his wife and ask her opinion?

You are going to get so hurt with this guy, if you keep on like you are doing. So terribly hurt. You need to tell him that this is work and work only. Nothing personal. Just work. Then stand by your words and keep the working relationship proper and at an appropriate distance.

It is easy to have your head turned by an older man who pays attention and seems so helpful. But please, take a cold hard look at this and make the best decision. If anything, look at some of the other posts and answers about this kind of relationship with a married man and read how women, like you, were drawn into illicit relationships with married men and are now suffering - some even pregnant and alone.

[Lynn2]

I don't know what it is but I've never felt this way towards someone, and it makes everything just go away.. I don't think I would ever want anything other than us flirting and talking all the time, but id like to know if there could've been something.. I don't know ;(

[shygrneyzs]

If he wants to continue flirting, that is a dangerous game. He is baiting the trap, so to speak. He has higher expectations. Which, if he were single and free to do this, no problem. But he is not. You can simply tell him that married men are not on your menu, when it comes to flirting and anything beyond. It is just too much of a temptation that can be almost impossible to overcome. I agree the attention is exciting, a bit romantic, sweet, and makes one feel so special. But, honestly, you do not feel that same way when you are there sitting home alone - again while he is back with his wife and family - again.

There are easier ways to break a heart. Don't let this guy close enough to find out.

[Lillian42]

You need to stop what you are doing it is wrong. He is a married older man and he should know better. He sounds a little sick and he's your boss. Its not that fair that you get to sit in the office all day and talk to him and get paid I would watch out this guy just sounds like a creep and what if his wife finds out

[shygrneyzs]

Oh yes, the being at work all day and not working and getting paid for it. That sure is a set up to an affair. He is going to ask for payment of that little favor. Is he the owner of this business and the manager or only the manager?

A smart woman would be documenting all this - the pay and no work, what the manager says, how he flirts, etc. Since you are going along with him, you are just as guilty in perpetrating a fraud on the company you work for. If a co worker were to find out, I can hear a whistle blowing!

[Lynn2]

He is not at all a creep... at all! Seriously, I guess its hard to explain the situation with out it seeming bad, but really its not, and its not like we don't get anything done at work, he just helps me so then we have extra time to talk, maybe he is just a nice guy and I'm getting caught up? But its just the things he does and jokes around about that makes me think otherwise.. Im deffinately not going to let it go anyfarther but I also don't want to stop flirting and talking to him... ill come back on on Wednesday around same time, because I'm going into work for while to see him, and ill tell you what happens, and the things he says and does, and you tell me what you think.. I just really wish you would understand he is not sick or creepy, its like I'm a little mature for my age, and he is a little immature for his age so its perfect combination

[Lynn2]

You guys just don't understand it is not at all like that cause for one we work just together, and twice as fast, I've known him for a while and now we work together and I know he isn't like that

[LuvMyMaltipoo]

He's not being faithful to his wife (1 sign of dishonesty) He's apparently breaking the rules at work, Managers should NOT act this way with their employees (2nd sign of dishonesty)... Do you really want to start a relationship with a man who is known for being dishonest and breaking all the rules? What happens if you two somehow do work out and you pursue another career... and this hot new girl takes your position, one day he gets bored at work and decides he wants HER to come in after hours. I know you may have feelings for him but from what you've said about the situation, it sounds like your in for a heartbreak.

Goodluck with everything. I hope everything works out for you.

[Lillian42]

Yes but he's not being faithful to his wife and u say u won't do n-e thing with him but you are flirting with him he might think u want to take it farther and think u are leading him on u need to stop before u both get in trouble.

[Matt3046]

I am speechless. What was the question? Anyway its all relative because his intentions are not clear, he may think they are "just friends".

[Lynn2]

So I really don't know what to think, or if I'm just confusing myself more... From my original post since then, I have talked to him everyday on the phone and visited him once at work and this weekend he's coming in to visit me at work.. I don't know if I'm thinking at all in the wrong way, maybe he's just nice? But why just to me? I don't know.. I think I'm going to just kind of act normal and see how he acts when I don't flirt back with him? I don't know please anyone help me out your opinion really makes the situation easier for me... thanks :)

[missk]

I think you need to continue your questions on the same thread instead of making a new one. I think he has a crush on you. You really shouldn't be leading him on and talking on the phone and visiting him. You need to leave him alone before this goes too far because I believe you will be hurt. Love is blind-Love is blind.

[Lynn2]

I know that I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing but I just can't I feel like I have no self control. I just want to be with him and have him. I love talking with him also though because I can feel something there and he always has something good to say and always puts me in a better mood like he actually cares, I haven't been able to talk to him for 3 days because he had to take classes for work and I'm going nuts, I can't wait to talk to him tomorrow :( I just never felt like this before... I wish someone could relate.

[Emland]

Head over to the mistress threads and you will find many that relate. Then read how miserable they are. What you are doing is wrong and on 2 levels. You are leading on a married man and you are goofing off on company time.

Any 30 something year old man who is in a managerial position that flirts and carries on with a teenager (and I don't care how mature you believe you are) qualifies as a creep in my book. It isn't professional behavior and I believe if his superior was aware of it he would be straightened out immediately. He is leaving the company wide open to a lawsuit. (That happens after you have hooked up and he tells you he won't leave his wife and you sue the company.) If he worked for me he would be packing his desk pronto.

I really wish I could understand why some women find married men attractive. The minute you found out he was married, didn't you feel betrayed? Where is the respect for your fellow woman? Would you like for some sweet young thing to flirt with your husband? I bet if you ask the long term employees at your workplace a few questions about your manager, you will get an earful.

[Lynn2]

Actually I've been working there longer than him, he transferred from another store, and I've known him from that store.. There is nothing wrong with harmless flirting on his part for one, its just that I'm getting attracted to him.. so its my fault.. yea should deff. Take this somewhere else.. diff thread.. diff site because none of you understand the situation or listening what I'm saying

[Lynn2]

Hes not what you think he is at all, and everyone at my work has told me him an his wife have had problems and they don't know if they are together because he doesn't wear his ring

[Emland]

I don't think you will find many people that will support you flirting with and leading on a married man - especially in a superior/subordinate position. You are titillated by an older man that reinforces your belief of being mature.

BTW, my husband has never worn a ring, it doesn't make him any less married.

[shygrneyzs]

We know what you are saying and we know the situation. We also have come to know that you are going to go head first into this relationship. So why did you even bother posting your morals question?

[Lynn2]

Ya so I flirt with him... OK? Must of committed a crime. I wish I could talk to people that aren't married.. and I garuntee if I left the fact out that he is married this whole thing would've been a different story.. And again I don't even know if he is married anymore, but I know he was like a year or so ago. And I never said I was going to pursue into a relationship with him, I just like the harmless flirting and talking.. nothing more, and I know how to control myself so there would be nothing to happen... and for the work part we get stuff done, it was just a day or two towards the end of the night where there was nothing to do besides, one thing and had like 2 hour to do it, so just talked and worked on paper work in office, and then before the end of the night worked on it together, so drop that... were not doing anything wrong and we ARE getting things done! And also that I'm leading on a married man,. ok? Nope, deffinately not... pretty sure it would be the other way around.. and I'm just going along with it not doing anything wrong but talking, and flirting back.. I'm sorry he's married.. not my problem if he's flirting with me.. wife's to it to their husbands everyday.. oh wait is that a different story? Oh OK so its OK.. forgot sorry :/