[LostGirlfriend]

I’ve been long distance dating my boyfriend for a few months now. We only get to see each other about every 2-3 weeks. So, let me give you an example of what happens every single time we see each other. I drive to see him (or he drives to see me, it really doesn’t change the situation) on Saturday. We have a great time Saturday and Saturday night, but when it comes to the next morning he turns totally cold, and he stays like that for a few days. Texts become few and far between, he doesn’t call, I feel like I stop being beautiful to him, he stops flirting, etc. A few days of him acting totally cold passes and then he acts as if nothing ever happens. He turns back into his sweet and charming self. This literally happens every single time. And I’m completely lost. Any advice would be fantastic!!

[talaniman]

How old are you both, and how long have you been a couple? Were you together before or after there was distance between you?

First of all LDR's are very hard on a couple as just having separate lives and limited contact makes it hard to bond, learn about all the little things about someone, or even work on things that you need to maintain the emotional connection.

For now I wouldn't take it so personally because maybe he doesn't know that's what you need on Sunday, or expect, and it's throwing you off a bit the way he does it. That's where you need to talk, NOT CONFRONT, but TALK, and see what he says, and what he does about it.

I would appreciate your answering the questions I have asked if you could, just for insights into your situation, as knowing ages and how familiar two people are is crucial to any advice and suggestions. Most guys don't know, or have a clue about the emotional needs of their female or the confusion he may feel. Good communications may not only reassure you, but add to the flavor of a relationship and help it grow.

You already see that not knowing a partners mind is NOT a good thing especially for one where distance is involved.

[joypulv]

Your boyfriend could simply be the kind of person who puts all his energy and attention into time together with you, and then gets back to daily humdrum requirements of life. Work, chores, or even hobbies he dropped while with you. He doesn't understand why he needs to keep up the romance through text and emails and phone calls. It doesn't mean he doesn't FEEL tender and loving towards you!

I'm 70. I spent virtually all my romance years prior to cell phones and the internet. Yes, a phone call is nice when you are deprived of someone. "I'll be thinking about you til I see you again." But none of what I see today, with almost horrifying demands for contact, which drives me insane.

So tell us, where do YOU fit on the spectrum of confidence in his feelings for you vs neediness?