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    Silvermist's Avatar
    Silvermist Posts: 85, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member

    Feb 10, 2017, 02:22 PM
    Unsure what to do
    I would really like to go away camping with my friends next weekend but I'm not sure my mum will let me. She's not the biggest fan of some of my friends. Quite often I will stay at one of my friends house over the weekend as she wotks some night shifts and come home Monday after school. If I just say I'm staying at my friends house instead of asking to go camping then she won't even know. Im trying to decide what to do, I feel a little guilty lying ut then I don't see how she would know. Please help me one part of me is saying just go she won't know the other is saying you promised to change. To the parents would you let your child go camping with friends? Would you be angry if you found out they were somewhere other than where they told you?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,910, Reputation: 5430
    Jobs & Parenting Expert

    Feb 10, 2017, 05:44 PM
    Please explain what "camping" means. In a cabin? in an RV? in tents? How far away? How many friends? Adults will be there? What if something happens at home and your parents can't get hold of you? What if something happens to YOU?

    Yes, I'd be really upset if my kid told me one thing and did something else.

    Yes, you promised to change.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,792, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert

    Feb 10, 2017, 07:58 PM
    Ask your mom and if she says no, it's no.
    Silvermist's Avatar
    Silvermist Posts: 85, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member

    Feb 11, 2017, 05:40 AM
    Camping in tents on the beach 30mins away by car. There will be 10 of us going not including me. My friends brother and his mates are taking us they are 18 so yes adults. We all have mobile phones if anything happens there is also a small town near bech with a nursing post. Nothing is going to happen were just going to go fishing, canoeing and swimming I really don't want to miss out. It really doesn't seem fair to me if she says no and if she says no then I cant go. If I don't ask she will never know. Arghh hate hhavin to decide
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert

    Feb 11, 2017, 06:29 AM
    This is going to be harsh.

    Obviously you haven't learned anything over the months you have been posting with us.

    Being mature and fixing your relationship with your mother isn't just about asking her for permission. It is also about doing what you know is right even when she isn't in the loop. It is about being trustworthy when the other person doesn't know. Apparently you don't want her to be able to trust you.

    Frankly, I wouldn't trust your friends if they are the type who would encourage you to disobey your mother.

    If you go and something goes wrong, are you prepared to face the consequences of having your mother never trust you again? Of having everything you have tried to rebuild tossed out into the trash by your own actions? Of coming back here and having us say, "Well, what did you expect." You won't find any sympathy if you choose to make very bad choices.

    It is totally up to you to decide if you are trustworthy or if you are a liar and trust-breaker.

    I hope you decide to show some maturity. Ask your mother. Abide by her decision. She may surprise you. If she doesn't, you earn trust by doing the right thing. Do not lose her trust because you think (or hope) she won't find out.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,244, Reputation: 10853

    Feb 11, 2017, 06:43 AM
    This is an easy decision to make. You ask for her permission and see what happens. Anything less is totally unacceptable, and DEVIOUS.
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,001, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert

    Feb 11, 2017, 07:04 AM
    If my teenager asked me to go camping with friends I wasn't happy with, my answer would be "no." As to spending a weekend with teens of both sexes, my answer would be "absolutely not!" Lying will get you into trouble and you won't be given chances again. If you want freedom to spend the night at a friend's house ever again, tell the truth. Do the right thing!
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,681, Reputation: 1012
    Uber Member

    Feb 11, 2017, 07:34 AM
    In one of your past posts you said " I realize I made a poor choice......" Seems like you are planning to make another one.
    Silvermist's Avatar
    Silvermist Posts: 85, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member

    Feb 11, 2017, 02:38 PM
    Thanks for the replys its made me see how selfish I am. I didn't really think about anything but just wanting to go. I don't know why I don't think about things properly, obviously I know it would be wrong to go with out asking but she wouldn't find out, never really thought about what just going would mean. Im not even going to ask her I will just stay at home, I know she will say no she really doesn't like some of my friends so and I don't want to lie and say they won't be there. Thanks for the advice I will try to think things through more, my actions instead of what I want and if I get caught. I am really trying I know my question must be annoying and I don't like asking but I was torn on this one.
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,001, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert

    Feb 11, 2017, 03:13 PM
    I'd tell your mom that your friends invited you for this trip, but you knew it wasn't a good choice, so you aren't going. Let her know that you made an excellent decision rather than not saying anything. This shows maturity!
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert

    Feb 12, 2017, 03:27 PM
    I agree with TJ (teacherjenn), tell your mom that you were asked to go, and that you decided not to ask her because you knew it wasn't a good idea to go. Let her know that you can make good decisions.

    In the future, if there's a decision you have to make and the first thought in your mind is "I should ask the people on AMHD because I'm not sure", then you already know what decision you should make. Let us be that little voice of reason in any decision, even if you can't come here and ask at the time.

    Now, as a mom I have no problem with my daughter (she's 14) or my son (he's 18) going camping with friends. By that I mean camping with a friend or two, and their parents. Having a few 18 year olds going, does not mean you're being supervised by adults. That means you have two legal adults that can buy beer and not give a crap about what you're all doing because they just want to party.

    This was a bad idea from the very beginning. Now a lot of people are saying you should know better by now. I'm going to cut you some slack, because I think it was very mature to come here and ask us about it, and then to accept the advice that was given. I'm proud that you always do take what we say into consideration. You may not have the best decision making skills, but you do know that asking for advice and listening to it, is a good thing, and for that I commend you.

    I don't think you're nearly as bad as you think you are, otherwise you never would have come here in the first place. You're trying, and I want you to know that no matter how silly you think the question is, we're always here to answer, and to be that little voice telling you to do the right thing.

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