[danidef]

I started talking to him in May as just friends and we became closer throughout the summer. I've never gotten this far with a guy in my life and I'm not quite sure what it means. He takes me on dates, pays for everything, met my parents and we always have a super great time together. I told him I liked him a lot and he told me the same and that he is going to miss me in college. He keeps making future plans with me, telling me that he's going to come back often to visit me, and even saying he wants to drive down to Florida (we live in NJ) on his winter break with me for a road trip. He's yet to ask me to be his girlfriend, I don't need a label but this puts me in a really difficult position because we have 15 days left together and then he is 4 hours away. I'm not sure if he just doesn't want to commit to anything because he is going away, but then again he's making plans for us to be together during winter break, which is 4 months from now. I'm losing sleep over this and kind of making myself go insane!! I need opinions ASAP, thank you.

[smoothy]

Get over him... He'll be 4 hours away. I'm sure he already is. Long distance relationships are ALWAYS a PITA.

Find someone else nearby... he will.

[joypulv]

You are his summer romance before college. What are the odds that he will find all sorts of interesting girls in classes? 100%, sorry. It's just the brutal truth.
There's a one in a MILLION chance that one of them will break his heart just before winter break. Don't count on anything though.

Work on YOUR life, your future. You don't even say where you are in life. High school? Looking for work? Training for a skill? Something that doesn't hinge on a man.

[dontknownuthin]

He may really like you but he recognizes he is going to be in school, far away from you and cannot make any commitment to you. You can't make one to him for the same reason. So, if you aren't dating someone else when he comes back and you want to see him, go out with him. But don't start some big committed thing, and don't make it a sexual relationship because the commitment isn't there to support it. It sounds like you're too young for that anyway.

[talaniman]

He may have good intentions, and mean what he says, but you don't know that for sure, and you are to scared to ask him where you stand? I feel you though, as this is your first experience with a guy, so slowdown and get the facts from him, is what you do because 4 months apart is a long time, and anything can happen.

Don't be scared to express your honest feelings, and talk about this with him. How old are you, and what will you be doing while he is gone?

[Oliver2011]

He's going to have to drive really really fast to get to Florida in 4 hours.

You're starting school, a new life, will meet all kinds of new people, not to mention lots and lots of homework and extracurricular activities. Enjoy the time you had together and embrace the new direction for your life.

[tickle]

Why do u need a label. Throughout your adult life you will have lots of them. Don't try to find one now.

[danidef]

Im more scared then ever. I will still be in high school when he goes away in my senior year and working I'm 17. Ive never liked a guy this much before what should I say to tell him that or what can I ask him??

[tickle]

Sit him down and tell him how you feel. Until you do that, nothing is for certain, ever. In other words 'put your cards on the table'!

[talaniman]

I know it's scary given those new intense feelings, and your first time dealing with them, but keep it real because at your ages ANYTHING can happen. That's why you may as well be HONEST and tell him you are scared, and overwhelmed by those events that have you attracted and looking forward to more.

I am sure you have many questions for him, like will he stay in touch and should you be waiting for his calls/texts/emails, because all you have are feelings, both of fear and the thrill of meeting a GUY you relate to. I understand the curiosity you have about HIS feelings for YOU, and will it continue, but don't be a fool for those feelings, neither YOURS, or HIS or his INTENTIONS which may be good a gold, but are subject to change given he will be far away in a new environment himself!

Sorry I cannot save you from the unknown because no one can predict what will happen next, but I can share my experience with young love that's interrupted by distance and change, the thrill wears off for one or the other as new challenges, opportunities, and NEW thrills distract from the good intentions of one, and the fear of not being there to share and care and bond drives the other to frustration, and resentments. LOL, just wait until he doesn't return a text/call in good time, and you will see what I mean.

Long story short, by hoping for the best, but PLAN for the worst, at least you can half way be prepared for whatever happens with you two, and maybe enjoy this for what it's worth, so take his words with a grain of salt, and don't get so carried away by them that you lose sight of reality.

In other words, keep it real with yourself, because this may be your first experience of this romantic kind, but hardly will it be your last. Yet you do have to go through this one FIRST, and learn and grow from it, no matter what happens right? Be aware since he has made no commitment to anything except a good time NEXT YEAR, you got nothing but a hope and a promise from a stranger you are smitten with for now.

Talaniman Rule - Get facts before you give your heart to a stranger, and make sure the WORDS and Actions match.

Feelings, intense or not, first time or 20th time, ain't FACTS! The fact is for all those feelings you have, you don't know if he has them as well, or if they are as intense as yours, or how long they will last.

Fact is you have no commitment, you are not his EXCLUSIVE girlfriend, nor know his intentions. So that's what you ask him first... if he is committed, and what are his intentions.

Talaniman RULES - If you have no commitment, don't commit YOURSELF!

AND

Never make a person a priority,​ while you are an option to them!

AND Rule NUMBER 1,

Never let your fear compromise your DIGNITY OR SELF RESPECT (AS YOU DEFINE YOURSELF).

Obey the rules, and be true to YOURSELF, no matter what he says about anything, and you won't be afraid of doing the right thing, or asking the right questions for YOURSELF!

[massplumber2008]

Talaniman, that last post was really good. Too bad Danidef didn't get to read or respond to it. Tough being young. I just hope she doesn't give up her "dignity or self respect" to this person to try to keep him. That strategy rarely works out well!

Mark

[danidef]

This all was super helpful, I appreciate your time helping me and I will keep in mind evreything you said.