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DigitalRime · Jul 31, 2016, 02:09 PM

I've grown to really like this girl. I've tried to drown my constant thinking of her, and certainly have NOT extinguished my search for another girl to date, but it's we really can't stop our heart from liking what it wants. I haven't brought up my feeling about this to her since I feel like it may annoy her, or lead to a complete termination of even the friendship that we do have. I'm at least honest with myself that I do want to date this girl, and being "just friends" with her is only going to get more difficult with time. I really don't want to loose her completely, but what else can I do?

Wondergirl · Jul 31, 2016, 02:21 PM

What are the "mixed signals"? I didn't read about any.

DigitalRime · Jul 31, 2016, 02:28 PM

She said that she want to be just friends, but each time I see her, it seems like she's making a serious effort to impress me.

Wondergirl · Jul 31, 2016, 02:41 PM

It sounds she's just being a friend, a good friend. Mixed signals would involve touching and kissing at some times but not at other times.

It sounds like you are hoping it's more than friendship and looking for every possibility that says it's something more.

Ask her if she's now interested in dating you. Tell her that, if she's not, you're moving on.

DigitalRime · Jul 31, 2016, 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It sounds she's just being a friend, a good friend. Mixed signals would involve touching and kissing at some times but not at other times.

It sounds like you are hoping it's more than friendship and looking for every possibility that says it's something more.

Ask her if she's now interested in dating you. Tell her that, if she's not, you're moving on.

Sometimes I honestly think that is what I'm doing--Reaching a little far for any kind of sign. I'd like to bring it up to her, but I don't want to create an awkward situation. As a girl yourself, and since the dating option is how we started this relationship, don't you think that if she wanted to date now, she would bring it up?

Wondergirl · Jul 31, 2016, 04:49 PM

Originally Posted by DigitalRime

Sometimes I honestly think that is what I'm doing--Reaching a little far for any kind of sign. I'd like to bring it up to her, but I don't want to create an awkward situation. As a girl yourself, and since the dating option is how we started this relationship, don't you think that if she wanted to date now, she would bring it up?

After that first date and other communication, she may have decided she's just not that into you. When I dated in college, that's how it went with me. A guy and I would connect because we were in the same class or hated the same professors or had mutual friends. It would start out with great possibilities, but either he or I would let things devolve into friendship or just goodbye. Reasons why may have been superficial (bad breath) or things not worth getting stressed over (poor grades) or even were majorly important (asthma). Then either of us moved on to someone else.

talaniman · Jul 31, 2016, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by DigitalRime

Sometimes I honestly think that is what I'm doing--Reaching a little far for any kind of sign. I'd like to bring it up to her, but I don't want to create an awkward situation. As a girl yourself, and since the dating option is how we started this relationship, don't you think that if she wanted to date now, she would bring it up?

She doesn't want to date you so why would she bring it up? Is it her fault you let every little friendly sign tweak your hormones? Of course not. Nothing wrong with the attraction though, just realize yours is certainly more distracting than hers is for you.

Relax and enjoy the friendship. Don't you have other females to date? Have you been back on the dating sight you met her on? Part of your problem is she is a big part of your life (As most friends are) and you probably don't have other romantic options.

I know though it may be a bit frustrating to want something so close but can't have it, but fight the urge to act on the impulse to blurt out (Or confess) your honest feelings. She knows already you rather date her, trust me, but for whatever reason she chooses the easy route of keeping you as a "friend/hangout buddy" because your SAFE (read that as available and accommodating).

Bottom line...if you are looking for romance don't hang around your "friends" ALL the time. At least go make more "FRIENDS" on your own!

DigitalRime · Jul 31, 2016, 06:08 PM

Good advise, guys, Thank you. I changed the title of this thread because you're right; they're not really "mixed signals".

joypulv · Jul 31, 2016, 06:09 PM

Keeping in mind that we can only surmise what she is thinking from what YOU WRITE, I will guess this:
A) She really, really doesn't want to get involved with a father to two kids. In all my 70 years, I have seen countless men literally run the second a woman says she has kids, and although there are usually connotations of commitments that go with a mother vs a father, why should it be any different overall?
B) She likes you and could like you as a potential life partner, but has chosen not to, for the reason in A.
Conclusion: As long as you know how she feels, and she SAID how she feels, she is willing to put you in the dreaded friend zone.
If you see this as mixed messages (I see zero), that's something to work on.

Good luck.

talaniman · Jul 31, 2016, 07:01 PM

Glad you realize you are just STUCK on the new girl.

ma0641 · Jul 31, 2016, 07:26 PM

What part of "I think that's a little more than what I'm looking for in a relationship right now" don't you understand?