[karma82]

So I have been seeing this girl... It started inocent enough and moved quickly to sexual. We were very cuddly and the sexual part was fantastic. She did tell me right from the start that she had just gotten out of a messy relationship with a guy that she moved across the country to be with. Now she has a job (that she loves) and has decided to stay around. We are both from the same area originally so we have tons to talk about and have more in common than I have ever had with any other female I have been with. I am 25 and have had my fair share of aquaintences. Back to the relationship at hand... Knowing that she didn't want to get to serious to fast we took it slow for a month or so and just kind of met up a couple times a week or around the weekend. I kind of started getting attached, and having some serious feelings for this girl. We had a few bumps in the road but nothing to serious. Over the course of the next month she hinted to me that her ex was texting her. I didn't know how to respond to this so I just kind of would change the subject. We moved on and kept up with our little thing we had going. She started to see and she heard from friends that I was really falling for her and she asked me one night if I really liked her. I told her yes. She told me I was putting her in a pickle. A week went by and we hooked up a couple more times, then she springs the lets just be friends on me. Now I tried when I first started getting feelings to back away and she always complained about me ignoring her and would always text or come over. I was devastated. I gave it a couple days and went over to her house and let her know that I was sorry for moving to fast, that I would back off, and hopefully we could go back to what we had. She seemed happy with this. On Wednesday I got a puppy and she really wanted me to bring it over to her house. I let her watch it while I worked and came back over to get it a couple hours later. When I did this we talked for a long time about all kinds of things. It was really nice to talk to her. She let me know that she had plans so I got up to leave and thanked her. I lleft and she texted me twenty minutes later with these texts. First- I don't know why you think I worth your effort. And Second- Did you think that I wanted sex a lot, like more than normal girls? I responded by telling her that she made me happy to the first and to the second I let her know that she never made me feel like she wanted sex more than a normal girl.(She actually would tell me to behave on nights when we had to get up early.) Since these texts I've been puzzled because I feel like she is measuring me up for something. She told people at her work the puppy is half hers and people that she works with have been referring to her as my girl and treating us like we were still together. I would love to get more serious with her and she knows I would be good to her. But what if she is just keeping me around because she knows I'm good to her while she is sleeping with other guys. I truly think that her last boyfriend really screwed her up and that is what is holding her back. I have had other dates since the whole lets be friends thing and she knows about them. I can't fully move on though if she is going to come up to me next week or next month and say I want you. HELP ME!!

[mckenzie134]

If you really want her you are going to have to tell her that's its best if you have a break and she works herself out. Tell her you can't wait around for someone who is so messed up. If she wants to have a good time and some fun and see how things go she can give you a call. But tell her your just not interessted in people who are so up and down.

Then tell her that your busy and she better go. She will thengo away and miss you and think about it. She will probably start to text and call do not answer the first few times or reply. THEN MAYBE IN A COUPLE OF DAYS YOU CAN MESSAGE HER AND JUST SAY " hI JUST SEEING HOW YOU BEEN LATELY HOPE YOURVE BEEN WELL..." But let her make the first move if she goes away and gets another guy she was never really intersested you have to push her away in order for her to return this is definitely the truth.

My ex broke up with me a month ago and I chased her it did me no good.


Let me say this I was in a very similar situation as you at the start with my girlfriend She was happy to co,me over and have sex but justwanted to take it slow and see what happened, so I was doing that but she just always wanted me to text. So I decided stuff it and I didn't text her for a week and then she rang me after a week and said do you want to catch up and I said NO. This was so hard for me to do and you know what was harded she also had another guy chasing hjer but I knew if I chased her that wouldn't work sounds wrong be but its right. So anyhow I found out from some friends the night I said no she had the other guys over and som other girls. Well I saw heer at work he next day and said to her I know about the other guys over and she said well nothing happened I asked you to come over. And well I said if you are like that then I'm not interested. Well she then said after a couple of hours and mind you we were at the pub and the guy chassing her was there and as well. I finished work and the guy was trying to tell her and her friends to come out and you know what she walked over to me and said what are you doing tonight can I come over yto your place and she did. When she got to my place she apologised about the night before and said to me Ive realised I must really like you cause he was at my place and I could hve done stuff with him buti didn't want to cause I want to do it with you...

This story is long but in the end I wanst chasing her and he was and she ended up coming to me she didn't want someone who was all over her she just wanted me I was king and generous but made her feel the right way, girls have to feel like they want you same for guys. You have to push them away and hope they feel it for you and they will come back stronger that before. She recently broke it off with me after 3 1/2 years and the main reason was I became all clingy I realise tis now and its too late, All that hard work and stuff I did at the start has gone out the window I fell totally in love and became too much and wanted to see her all the time. Im trying to stay cool now and move on she might be back who knows and if she does come back the cool me will be back not being available all the time and living my own life and just having her a s a small piece... All the best

[talaniman]

It's a little early to do anything but have fun while getting to know someone. But you can't do it with blinders on, and have to be realistic and objective. Remember she told you she came to live where you are now because of a relationship that didn't work. Is she over it? I doubt, it but you may be a diversion for an aching heart. The attention she needs to move on. What I'm trying to say is, now is not the time to get in to deep and lose yourself to some one who may not be ready for what you want. Things are always great in the beginning, but loose a lot of sparks as you learn more about some one. Don't worry about what she will do in the future, live your life in the now.