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blackcatpenny · Jul 20, 2016, 08:36 AM

My partner has suddenly stopped having sex with me and its even a chore to kiss me also I stay with him as I don't have anywhere to live but at least if I think positive at least I have a roof over my head and he is not cheating on me at least that's a good thing but why is he doing this to me

smoothy · Jul 20, 2016, 08:57 AM

Ask him... could be any number or reasons, all of which we would only have to guess at. And you really do need to know... being positive only gets you so far... being upset about something he may get over, if he has lost feelings for you, then you need to know so you can make plans. Because that roof over your head isn't a permanent thing.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 20, 2016, 09:08 AM

You should ask him. Perhaps he is no longer interested in you.

talaniman · Jul 20, 2016, 09:17 AM

You really should talk to him and get facts about this sudden change in his behavior. That's the best way to get things in the open where they can be worked on through HONEST communications.

I wouldn't count on KEEPING a roof over your head with someone you cannot talk to, or even rule out cheating for that matter. So TALK to him!

Fr_Chuck · Jul 20, 2016, 10:25 PM

You don't love him, just live there because you can't afford somewhere else.

Having sex as payment is sort of like payment, so you pay your rent with sex ?

joypulv · Jul 21, 2016, 04:01 AM

Just from the way you write, it sounds like you are all over him.
How would you know that he acts like kissing you is a chore if you aren't demanding kisses?
Why do you assume that 'acting positive' is all it takes to be wanted?
Sorry to be harsh but you sound really immature.
If you and he can't talk together about the most basic aspects of your relationship, it doesn't have much time left.
Better get a job and start looking for roommates for your own apartment.

CravenMorhead · Jul 21, 2016, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by blackcatpenny

My partner has suddenly stopped having sex with me and its even a chore to kiss me also I stay with him as I don't have anywhere to live but at least if I think positive at least I have a roof over my head and he is not cheating on me at least that's a good thing but why is he doing this to me

Hi!

Is all intimacy out the window? Are you smothering him? What is his health like? What are his stress levels like? What is his energy level like?

There is a long list of cause for reduced libido and reduced intimacy levels. Some are obvious and others are more subtle. I need more information before I can say what is going on or why the intimacy has left the relationship.

If you're unhappy with where you are, find something else. The line of "I don't have anywhere else to live" is totally false. You always have options. Saying that you don't just means your comfortable enough in your situation to not change it.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

talaniman · Jul 21, 2016, 08:29 AM

How old are you both and how long have you been together? How long had you dated before you moved in with him, and from where, and what kind of situation (Room mates, parents, ex boyfriend, friends)?

What do you do while he is at work supporting you both? Are there kids involved? What kind of social life do you both have? Are you on birth control?

After the lust has faded you better have a solid plan to bond, and that's usually through honest communications and good interactions that allow LOVE to grow.