[valgal]

I'm 14 and I feel like I need male attention. I usually go around telling guys they look hot and telling them that I want to do things with them, and I flirt with them and wear really tight clothes to school. I'm still a virgin, but I want to have sex with guys because I feel like it will make me feel better about myself. When guys tell me that I am sexy or that they want me, I fell really good and I always want to hear them say things like that. I was molested a few times when I was really young, could that be the reason why I feel like this? I really like guys, but when I'm in a relationship I only am interested in the physical stuff like making out and I don't really like to spend time with the person. Could anyone help me out with this?

[louie1]

There are so many other ways to feel loved, wanted etc etc. Take heed on your other post as I can assure you if it is a need to be loved you are trying to fulfill this is the wrong way to go about it. All you will do is acquire yourself a reputation that you will not be able to shift and feel rejected once the boys get what they want.

Please seek other avenues as you are young and so much to look forward to in life.

[J_9]

Val honey, this is not about being loved. The boys you are attracting by acting in this manner are not going to love or respect you.

In the end, with the way you are acting, you will get a bad reputation, not a good relationship.

What you are describing is a very low self-esteem. You need comments and actions from boys to make you feel better.

These actions will lead a boy to believe you want to have sex (and you really don't you just want the attention), he will have sex with you, get you pregnant, and leave you.

What are you good at? Are you a cheerleader? Good at swimming? Math? Focus on things you are actually good at. You do not want people calling you names behind your back, you do not want the reputation of the school s...

Yes, being molested can cause these problems. It is important that you talk to an adult, possibly your mother, a trusted teacher, or a school counselor. You need to get some help due to your past molestations and learn to live your live in a constructive manner rather than a destructive one.

[Lez]

Hi there like other have said there's different ways to feel loved and really if you want to feel good about yourself look for a guy that really means what he says and not in the sexual way. Don't you want someone that respects you for you and not just see's you as a bit of meat if you know what I mean someone that shows you how much you mean to them sometimes actions speak louder.
Is sex such a big thing? Is it that everyone else your age is doing it? There's so many reason why you should wait for one do you want to be one of the girls that has to stay in while all you mates are living it up down the club later on in life while you stuck at home with a child. It tears up so many youngsters lifes because they were trying to fit in or it's the done thing to do and when one mistake can just turn your hole life around.
Sorry if this sounds bit too forward just that I see so much of this go on.
Hope you do the right thing and just live life being happy and forget what other people say and think because at the end of the day there's only you that you can really trust.
With my reply I know its up to you if you take it in and have a think about it but if you do I hope it helps in some way.
Lez

[Illusion]

Its all right that you like guys. It sounds like you want someone to be physically close to - but nothing else. That's all right so long as you are honest about your feelings. You might want to consider telling a guy you like that you want to get together for some fun but that you are not looking for a relationship. This way they know you are not looking for a commitment but that you are interested in spending time with them.

You like compliments like everyone else. Its great when people like us. People are responding to you because they sense you like them and they like you. Begin to engage in positive self-talk - know that you are special, expect that other people will like you, say something in this manner, "I am loved and accepted by everyone I meet. I love and am loved, I find friends and acceptance wherever I go."

If you have been molested, you have been hurt. Whatever happened, there is a part of you that has never been hurt, never been damaged, never been taken advantage of - it is always whole and complete, no matter what happens. This is what allows you to go on and try again.

[robertsqueen]

You mentioned that you were molested a few times? Well Iam going to let you in on a secret, when I was raped and older then I wanted all the guys's attention. This is the only way that I felt loved. I was boycrazy and I wanted to be sexual with them. Lucky I never acted on these impulese. I think that it is a boundary thing. You will let them in physically but not emotionaly. That is a normal thing for someone who has been sexually assulted. You have to gain a self-esteem. You sound like a wonderful girl who has wonderful qualities. Why don't you explore them? Get guys out of your life right now and find out who you are. I am here if you need to talk... I know how bad being sexually assulted can hurt you. Just talk and I will listen if you need to.