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earthtomarty · May 2, 2016, 10:13 AM

So this might seem like the most childish thing to some of you, but if you want to answer or just give your thoughts id appreciate it, I just want to see how other people might see this.

So I started at this music college last September.. all was good. And the first day I noticed this sort of.. out of the ordinary guy was in our class.. At first I wasn't really like bothered by him but the more I hung around him with others I found he was funny and he sort of has this front (but he is actually a nice guy, but he's quite awkward I feel).

So one day I was sitting with my friends and we saw him and another classmate outside the window and they were coming to meet us and she was like oh he definitely likes you.. that's when I sort of freaked out because I thought or knew he had a girlfriend, so yea I freaked out. And then that day I paid extra attention to him and noticed hed look at me or look for my reaction or whatever, and that made me feel really awkward I didn't know how to feel about it... and I think he noticed that I noticed that he was acting that way.

So ever since that day then he started acting a bit distant.. won't really attempt to make that much conversation and we just feel a bit akward around each other, but its not the kind of awkward were were like nahh I don't like you but its like.. we both know we like each other but its awkward because he has a girlfiend ( or doesn't we don't know) and yea...

The other day myself, him and this other classmate had a songwritting assignment so it was the three of us in a small room and we were getting along great (bear in mind he was away for the last 3 weeks so I couldn't see him in college) and I noticed he'd be looking at me or we'd make eye contact.. but it didn't go normally. It was like we'd look at each other but then look away but then straight away look at each other again and we'd feel awkward but keep looking away and it confused me... so I don't really know..

Then he acts awkard in class or like he's not interested.. I don't know I'm so confused because some people think he does like me.. but he might be trying to distance himself (incase he does have a girlfriend I don't knoW) and I just wanted to know how people perceive this? Like the odd time he'd do these unecesarry tasks but just to sort of somehow be involved in a conversation then the next minute I try to talk to him and its like a dead end. Hes a tough cookie.

One week left of college and I might never see him again. THOUGHTS PLEASE X

smoothy · May 2, 2016, 10:33 AM

If you are both actually in college like you say... whats wrong with asking him? This isn't junior high... we have a saying in the adult world. If you snooze, you lose.

Even if he DOESN'T have a girlfriend... he probably will soon before you and your friends finish playing the guessing game.

And if he does... then you know for sure... and back off... because if he would fool around on his girlfriend with you, he's not above fooling around on you with someone else.

Just because he may like you...doesn't mean he is available. I see lots of women I like....but my wife says that's as far as I can go with that.

joypulv · May 2, 2016, 12:56 PM

Goodness, I agree, grow up! You are half the equation, he's the other half, and other people are zero part of it.
Say hi, smile, once in a while say something nice about him or the day or ask a general little yes-no question. Don't push it. If he really is just curious but true to his girlfriend, or he's going to break up with her and is interested in you, it will be clear soon enough.
Did it ever occur to you that he may be wondering what YOU are thinking?

DoulaLC · May 2, 2016, 01:02 PM

You have to stop and wonder if every time you look back at him, wondering why he keeps looking at you, only to repeat the same thing, he may be thinking the same thing... "Why does she keep looking at me?"

Since you've already spoken in class, that ice is already broken, so see if he wants to meet up after classes one day for a coffee or whatever. Keep it casual... and then you can take it from there. If he is interested, even if just on friendly terms, he will likely agree to meet up or suggest another time if he can't make it. If he isn't, he will have a reason and won't make any attempt to make alternative plans.

Can't hurt to ask.

earthtomarty · May 2, 2016, 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

You have to stop and wonder if every time you look back at him, wondering why he keeps looking at you, only to repeat the same thing, he may be thinking the same thing... "Why does she keep looking at me?"

Since you've already spoken in class, that ice is already broken, so see if he wants to meet up after classes one day for a coffee or whatever. Keep it casual... and then you can take it from there. If he is interested, even if just on friendly terms, he will likely agree to meet up or suggest another time if he can't make it. If he isn't, he will have a reason and won't make any attempt to make alternative plans.

Can't hurt to ask.

Yea you're right, but one more thing about him.. he's one of those awkward guys I feel like when he lieks someone.. he doesn't know how to act or gets awkward or nervous.. I get the same... so its really just... I don't know.. How childish is this? Trust me I know hah

smoothy · May 2, 2016, 05:43 PM

If he's awkward... you might die of old age waiting for him to say something.

earthtomarty · May 2, 2016, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Goodness, I agree, grow up! You are half the equation, he's the other half, and other people are zero part of it.
Say hi, smile, once in a while say something nice about him or the day or ask a general little yes-no question. Don't push it. If he really is just curious but true to his girlfriend, or he's going to break up with her and is interested in you, it will be clear soon enough.
Did it ever occur to you that he may be wondering what YOU are thinking?

Yea I agree I should really just grow up, but I don't have the balls.
That's the thing I already do all of those things haha

talaniman · May 3, 2016, 06:05 AM

He is awkward yet you think he has a girlfriend? Okay, how about forgetting the rumors and your friends and talking to the guy? With two awkward people one of you has to take a chance or NOTHING will happen, and you will never know what could happen.

Even if nothing can happen, at least YOU will know the truth of the matter, and won't have to assume, presume, speculate and obsess over this fellow all summer. Who knows maybe you make the first step toward dealing with your own awkwardness and FEARS, and get the courage to let yourself mature beyond that high school stuff.