[EnglishRose]

In jan my relationship seemed almost perfect. I'd been living with my partner for almost a year, he had asked me to marry him and I had been over the moon. We got engaged and had a huge party which is something I would never have done if I wasn't 110% I was going to marry him. We talked about having a baby and it was definitely what we both wanted. I had previously found out I have Poly Cystic Ovarie Syndrome so we agreed that since it might take us a while to conceive that we would try before the wedding rather than wait. So we booked the wedding for next year and stopped using contraception. Then my periosd was late after a few months of being very regular. This has happened before but I really thought this time I was pregnant. I did a test and it came out a t rather than a - or +. When I told him he got a little funny. Like he was devastated it wasn't positive. It made me feel really pressured to conceive . As my period got later and later I thought maybe I could still be pregnant but he refused to talk about the possibiltity. Suddenly I began to think maybe a baby wasn't the best thing. He started talking about buying sports cars and holidays and things we couldn't do if we had a baby but insisted it is baby he really wants. Then we stopped having sex. It was like if it wasn't going to make a baby (as I probably wasn't ovulating even if I wasn't pregnant) then he wasn't interested. We've had problems with out sex life before but I have put it down to having different sex drives as I have tried everything to help but we have never gone weeks without sex before. I started getting frustrated, having sexy dreams and looking at other men but never acting on them. Suddenly all our tiny problem became massive, and now everything seems to be falling apart.
Any plans I tried to make with the wedding were ending up too much stress and I had my tonsils out so I was feeling really awful last week. He wasn't how I though he would be while I was ill and I ended up packing a bag and going to my mums. I even cancled my wedding plans. I was feeling really low and he was making it worse. I got better and the other night I went out with the girlsand first time in ages I felt sexy again. I gained a lot of weigh as a result of the PCOS but not being able to eat for a week and being given medication for diabeties has made me lose a bit of it very quicky so I felt good about myself. I was confident and made an effort, and men were coming up to me all night like they used to when I was younger. I didn't cheat, but I wanted to, or at least to be single. I have never felt like that while I have been with him.
Suddenly I feel trapped and confused. I can't move out because we have a mortgage together so I'd have to sell our flat to afford rent some where else which would really mean ending my relationship. All I really need is space to decide what I want but I can't seem to get it. He is clingy and tries to be with me all the time, which I never used to mind but now I can't get away. A guy I knew used to look at me from a distance at work finally managed to come and talk to me today and I found it hard to tell him I was in a relationship.
How can everything fall apart so quickly? Could it just be a phase?

[robertsqueen]

English rose.
You are probably feeling sufficated because your partner wasn't there for you when you needed him the most. You felt let down at his attitude towards you. That is understandable. He should have been there. He has no right to be rude towards you because you can't conceive. Congratlations on losing the weight. I am glad that you took a night out with the girls.. you deserve it. It sounds like you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your partner, then decide where your feelings are. Are you feeling sufficated beucase you want to be single again, or are you feeling sufficated because you guys have no sexual relationship, and you guys are going through a trying time? In the end the decision is up to you... but I am here if you need to talk about it.

[LBP]

Any number of things could happen here... This is a transitional period and that's all right. But please... PLEASE... Respect your fiancé enough to voice your concerns to him. It is possible that your problems could be solved as easy as this! Explain to him how important, crucial to your relationship even, these issues are (sex included!). DO NOT PULL ANY PUNCHES! He will learn nothing if your are not sincere in what you say. He is not a monster - in all likelihood he is as confused as you are.

Do not let resentment build! That will ruin everything without a doubt. This is the moment of truth. Confront him with your problems and your feelings. If he turns into a big baby (and it sounds like he might) then you know what you have to do. But if you love him then you must respect him. Good luck - you've got a lot of thinking ahead of you.

[talaniman]

Be very glad this is happening before you get married. This is a true test of your relationship and your ability to communicate, and solve your problems together. Talk and listen and don't be harsh and above all understand each others feelings. Get busy. No communication, no relationship.

[louie1]

Every one of the above answers are spot on and cover just about all that can be said.

Take your time and talk together until you have reached a decision or exhausted all angles.