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    michelewelch's Avatar
    michelewelch Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 8, 2016, 09:41 AM
    My husbands female co worker sent him a text saying
    I had that woman intuition telling me to check his phone wasn't sure why but I did so I learned to always go with my gut. I found a text message from the office buyer to my husband from her personal cell phone during business hours 3pm. The text said " hey you..."
    I felt taken back because I don't feel like a "hey you..." Is appropriate. This woman is 43 and could come up with a sentence at least not a "hey you..." I just really don't get the dots. Makes it seem more than it could be. Also I checked the call log and she kadewno attempt to contact him from another line like the office line before sending the text. Just want some opinions before I go off.
    Thank you.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Apr 8, 2016, 09:50 AM
    There's nothing wrong about "hey you" and some dots. Maybe there had been a problem at work that they disagreed on. Maybe they're planning a surprise birthday party for the boss who can read intraoffice communications. The wrong thing was that you snooped.

    You're welcome.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #3

    Apr 8, 2016, 10:53 AM
    DITTO Wondergirl.
    Maybe he was supposed to have given her a list of supplies he wanted ordered that day and she had to place the order by 3 pm and wasn't at her desk! That's ONE of 500 ideas without even thinking!
    'Learned to go with my gut' is meaningless. If you think more is going on, say what the signs are. Otherwise you look like a suspicious wife who needs to get out more, and who can't resist snooping for lack of anything better to do.
    Take a course, get a part time job, figure out how to sell something from home, start a day care... dot dot dot
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #4

    Apr 8, 2016, 01:04 PM
    If you don't have any reason to doubt his loyalty to you, do you ? If not, snooping is not the answer and puts you on a lower platform then a bug under a rug as far as I am concerned.

    Opinions ? Why ask strangers who don't know you two from a hole in the ground.

    Sit down with him and admit you snooped in his phone and be diplomatic about asking him if anything is going on. That is if you have enough nerve to do so.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #5

    Apr 8, 2016, 03:53 PM
    You're upset about a "hey you..."?

    You snooped, and nothing good ever come from snooping.

    Bottom line in all this is that you don't trust him. If you trusted him you wouldn't have gone through his phone snooping to find something, and then finding something so innocent and blowing it up into something huge!

    You can't have a relationship without trust. You don't trust him. I think it would be best to break up with him because you can't build a relationship without trust. Does he snoop on you?

    Is he cheating? I wouldn't base it on a text from a co-worker saying "hey you", but obviously you think that message means more than what it actually says.

    You don't trust him. Let him go, work on your trust issues, and then find someone you can trust, and can have a life with.

    Good luck to you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Apr 9, 2016, 06:59 AM
    If that's all you got, then you got nothing, so what's the point of going off? I don't even understand how you can justify snooping because of your tummy tingling, so please if you have more FACTS please share, because any man would be pissed off getting read the riot act after snooping for such a flimsy excuse, on even flimsier evidence.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Apr 10, 2016, 05:08 AM
    I have to agree with the others... He's got every reason in the world to be seriously upset with you now... you snoop and out of the blue start accusing him of infidelity with what really amounts to no evidence at all, much less proof.

    Seriously... You need to deal with your insecurity issues before you find yourself being served with divorce papers. No spouse or partner male or female will tolerate much of this for long.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #8

    Apr 10, 2016, 06:26 AM
    I've read this a few times and I'm still having a problem understanding how "hey you" is inappropriate. Did he even respond to that "hey you?"

    Now, if that hey you was accompanied by a picture of her vagina, well, that would be inappropriate.

    Honestly, the only inappropriate thing in your post was that you snooped thorough his phone without his permission.

    Before this snooping occurred did he give you any reason, other than a gut feeling, to question him? What tangible proof do you have that he may be stepping out on you?

    Have you always been this insecure in your relationship or is this a new feeling for you?

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