[CravenMorhead]

Do you think that you should tell your parents everything? Are there something's,that's its all right to keep from them? I'm confused should you tell everything even if it will make them get mad? Should you always ask them for permission to do things?

Yes and no.

Your parents are your guardians until you reach the age of majority. They're responsible for you and your welfare. Any information they can use to better your health and welfare should be shared. For example, sharing that you're on birth control would be important. You don't need to share what you're on birth control or the fact that you've been having sex. More is better but you also run the risk of getting in trouble for it.

As for asking permission to do stuff. Within reason I suppose. Going places? Yea, so they know where you are. IE, going to the mall. Buying stuff with your money? Mostly no.

In the end it is a judgement thing. Ask yourself if you think that yourself, or anyone else will get hurt if this information isn't shared.

[Wondergirl]

Me grades have really improved I'm getting a's now and without me boyfriend tutoring I wouldn't even have achieved that.

Please remind me. Isn't this the tutor your dad found for you? And now he's your boyfriend, too? How do you date? He takes you out and spends time with you under the excuse of tutoring you?

[Homegirl 50]

Your father should definitely know you are dating. What if something were to happen? He would have no idea where you are or who you are with.

[Thinkaboutit]

Thanks I guess I already knew I should have told me da some things already. It's hard to except that I need to listen to what decisions me da makes for me, I know he will do what he thinks is the right thing. But it's hard when I feel,the decisions he makes are based on things I have done in the past. But I only have me self to blame for that actions consequences thing! I really don't want to break up with me boyfriend he has been a great support and friend I don't want to lose that. If I ask me da if I can date him though it won't turn out good I already know that he doesn't want me to date until I'm older. So that's not going to happen and I definitely can't tell him that we are already dating already god no.

Anyway thanks for the advice has really helped, I thought I had been doing well but I can see that I'm still making the wrong choices and doing what I want to do, not what is the right thing to do. Guess now I just need to figure out what to do. Either tell me da about me boyfriend or just break up with him. Argh so hard

Please remind me. Isn't this the tutor your dad found for you? And now he's your boyfriend, too? How do you date? He takes you out and spends time with you under the excuse of tutoring you?

Oh god yes this is the tutor me da found for me he is actually a family friend and yes he is me boyfriend now. No when he's suppose to be tutoring me he does me grades improving show that. We go out after me da doesn't mind us hanging out after. He lets us go to the movies or just hang out. He probably wouldn't be to happy about it all if he knew we were dating.

[Wondergirl]

How will your dad feel if/when he finds out this trusted family friend he hired to tutor you is dating you? Have you and your tutor talked about this?

[Thinkaboutit]

How will your dad feel if/when he finds out this trusted family friend he hired to tutor you is dating you? Have you and your tutor talked about this?

I know he going to be pissed at me. Like I said he doesn't want me to date until I'm older probably thinks ill end up getting pregnant or something that's how much he thinks of me. I don't really see what the big deal is me da knows his family me da and his are real good friends. We talked about it talked about telling me da he thinks we should have told me da he feels like he's betraying his trust but I know da will say no so I convinced him not to say anything. Stupid now I look back just cause too much drama

[Wondergirl]

How old is your tutor/boyfriend?

What if you and your tutor asked your dad to sit down with both of you, you two tell/show how much the tutoring is helping you in school, and then ask your dad's permission to date each other (your tutor being a good influence on you)? Or not a good idea?

[Thinkaboutit]

How old is your tutor/boyfriend?

What if you and your tutor asked your dad to sit down with both of you, you two tell/show how much the tutoring is helping you in school, and then ask your dad's permission to date each other (your tutor being a good influence on you)? Or not a good idea?

He's only a year older than me. I'm not so about asking him what if he says no then I have to break up with him if I don't then I'm lying to me da and he will be more likely to keep an eye on us. It's complicated

[J_9]

To make matters worse, you are considering birth control and having sex with your father's friend's son, i.e. your boyfriend.

You need to slow it wayyyy down before your life is more complicated than it already is.

[Thinkaboutit]

To make matters worse, you are considering birth control and having sex with your father's friend's son, i.e. your boyfriend.

You need to slow it wayyyy down before your life is more complicated than it already is.

I've just made things way to difficult. No matter what way I look at it it's not going to turn out well. I'm not going to sleep with him I already decided that I don't think I'm ready and after reading everyone's posts I'm kind of too scared too. I don't know why I keep on making things so complicated

[Wondergirl]

I've just made things way to difficult. No matter what way I look at it it's not going to turn out well. I'm not going to sleep with him I already decided that I don't think I'm ready and after reading everyone's posts I'm kind of too scared too. I don't know why I keep on making things so complicated

Is it possible your dad engaged him as a tutor, knowing your ages were similar and that you would start to like each other? (Dads aren't totally stupid.) And maybe he'd be okay if you dated this hand-picked guy whose family your dad knows well?

[Thinkaboutit]

I've pushed me parents too far me ma couldn't handle me behaviour so she sent me to live with me da. Now I've done some messed up things while living with me da. I'm trying really hard to improve me behaviour and I feel like I have, I'm working through the issues I have that I was trying to hide from by taking drugs and partying. I didn't want to lie to me da and I don't like going and doing things behind his back either but I want to be able to be normal experience normal things like have a boyfriend. I know I've gone about it all the wrong way. I just know me da would have said no and if I had of asked he probably would have made me get a new tutor because he wouldn't have trusted me. I know from what I have done in the past I don't deserve him to have trust in me.

I really like me boyfriend he keeps me grounded helps me see things in a different way I know he's not happy that me da doesn't know about our relationship and I don't feel good about it either I guess that's why I asked me question. If I tell me da that we are dating he's not going to be happy. If I ask me da he will just say no then if I continue our relationship I would be lying and he would find out because he would be more aware that I like him. If I don't say anything then he will probably find out anyway he has already nearly caught us making out, then it will just make things between us worse. I really don't know what to do I don't want to break up with him and I don't know if talking to me da is just going to make worse, but I guess I better deal with it now especially since things are getting serious Thanks for all the advice always helps me see things from an adults point of view.

[talaniman]

I don't think your boyfriend is the issue at all, but the lousy relationship between you and your dad is the whole problem here. You're right about one thing, and that's you have been a handful so far, and I doubt that changes anytime soon, but you really have to get over that going behind your parents back because you are afraid they will deny you what you want. They probably will object and strongly, but the consequences have to be greater, if you don't at least let them know before you just do it, don't you think?

You are already aware of how your "boyfriend/tutor/make out buddy" feels about the sneaking around, so dragging him into your sneaky little drama just isn't fair at all. I'm like Wondergirl though, your dad and stepmom cannot be oblivious to the possibility of the two of you being attracted to each other, and it's only a matter of time before they find out, and lose faith in BOTH of you.

Maybe you have shown some improvements in your behavior, but just consider changing your approach to your own father, and a good start would be accepting his AUTHORITY whether you like it or NOT. Whether you get what you want or NOT! At least give him the respect of asking before doing, and accepting NO as a result.

You are in no position to make demands anyway, so live by dad's rules, because that will change dramatically in two years so practice courage, and self discipline until then, and play it straight. Bet your boyfriend agrees, just ASK HIM!

[Wondergirl]

What is your general attitude and behavior at home and around your dad? Crabby and grumpy and sad-faced and not talking and bi+chy and uncooperative and eyerolling and sighing audibly? OR smiling and hugging him and chatty and cheerful and helpful?

Would I want you to be my daughter?

[Thinkaboutit]

I don't think your boyfriend is the issue at all, but the lousy relationship between you and your dad is the whole problem here. You're right about one thing, and that's you have been a handful so far, and I doubt that changes anytime soon, but you really have to get over that going behind your parents back because you are afraid they will deny you what you want. They probably will object and strongly, but the consequences have to be greater, if you don't at least let them know before you just do it, don't you think?

You are already aware of how your "boyfriend/tutor/make out buddy" feels about the sneaking around, so dragging him into your sneaky little drama just isn't fair at all. I'm like Wondergirl though, your dad and stepmom cannot be oblivious to the possibility of the two of you being attracted to each other, and it's only a matter of time before they find out, and lose faith in BOTH of you.

Maybe you have shown some improvements in your behavior, but just consider changing your approach to your own father, and a good start would be accepting his AUTHORITY whether you like it or NOT. Whether you get what you want or NOT! At least give him the respect of asking before doing, and accepting NO as a result.

You are in no position to make demands anyway, so live by dad's rules, because that will change dramatically in two years so practice courage, and self discipline until then, and play it straight. Bet your boyfriend agrees, just ASK HIM!

Thanks for the advice your totally right, I,do just do things behind me da back because I think he won't like it and I want to do it so I haven't changed much that way still doing what ever I want not caring. It does just make things worse and me get in trouble, I suppose it makes everything else I'm trying so hard to do seem pointless. It's hard to accept his authority or even accept him as a dad when for the majority of me life he hasn't been around and then for the last two years he tries to be a freaking super dad. Anyway I'll get there I hear the advice ask me da even if I think he will say no and do what he says. Dads rules, authority, respect not going to be easy.

[Alty]

You've been posting here for a long time, all your issues, all your struggles, asking for advice. We've given you that advice. You seem to accept that advice, seem to want to take it, say you will take it, and then shortly after that you post again with more struggles, things we've already covered, and again we have to talk you into listening, and you say you will. The thing is, if you were really listening and taking the advice given, you wouldn't constantly be posting about new issues!

It's frustrating.

Your dad is your dad, he's your parent, you're a child. You may not think you're a child, you may think that you're mature enough to make your own decisions, but if you look at all your questions here on AMHD, it's obvious that you're not ready to make any decisions about your life, which is why you need to listen to your dad!

Until you're 18 you are in your dad's care. He decides when and what you eat, what you wear, if you work, what school you go to, if you're allowed to date, when you go to the doctor, which doctor you see when you go, what medication you take, whether you're allowed to go out, and everything else! That's the job of a parent, and it seems that every rule he has, you go against! Then you come here asking how to get around those rules, and when you're told that you can't, you're all complacent, promise that you'll comply, and then bam, yet another post about the bad behavior you want to do that you know is not okay!

Get it together kid! Go back to every single one of your numerous threads, read every post in them, and actually listen to the advice given! You're not stupid, so stop acting like you are!

[Thinkaboutit]

What is your general attitude and behavior at home and around your dad? Crabby and grumpy and sad-faced and not talking and bi+chy and uncooperative and eyerolling and signing audibly? OR smiling and hugging him and chatty and cheerful and helpful?

Would I want you to be my daughter?

Me general attitude and be have or at home. I do what I have too, I do me chores, I babysit when they want me to I go to work, I do what they have asked me to do. My attitude I don't complain I'm definitely not perfect but there ain't no point arguing with me da he is very strict I either do it and not complain or be punished so I just do it. I'm not cheerful, hugging chatty type of person well at least not at home anyway. I don't talk much unless they ask me stuff then I answer. I tried talking to me da all normal like but I didn't know what to say. Sounds stupid right but I don't feel like I should be in this house its his family and I'm just intruding. Anyway blah and to answer last question No no body would want me as their daughter are you kidding I wouldn't even want me as a daughter!

[Alty]

Me general attitude and be have or at home. I do what I have too, I do me chores, I babysit when they want me to I go to work, I do what they have asked me to do. My attitude I don't complain I'm definitely not perfect but there ain't no point arguing with me da he is very strict I either do it and not complain or be punished so I just do it. I'm not cheerful, hugging chatty type of person well at least not at home anyway. I don't talk much unless they ask me stuff then I answer. I tried talking to me da all normal like but I didn't know what to say. Sounds stupid right but I don't feel like I should be in this house its his family and I'm just intruding. Anyway blah and to answer last question No no body would want me as their daughter are you kidding I wouldn't even want me as a daughter!

Than be the daughter everyone would want! It's your choice, and only you can make that choice. If you're not being a good daughter, then become one!

Your dad obviously loves you, otherwise he wouldn't care so much, and he wouldn't be so strict. He has to be strict, because left to your own devices you go out and party, do drugs, drink, contemplate having sex, get into trouble that no one should be getting into, especially at your age!

Left on your own you're just an accident waiting to happen, or a jail sentence waiting to happen! Of course your dad is strict! That's what a good dad does when his child is out of control!

Your dad isn't the problem here. You are! Until you realize that all his rules are for your good, and done out of love, you will continue to make bad choices, and that's what you're doing. Your constant questions on this site show that that's what you're doing. And we only get to hear your side, and that's pretty bad. I wonder what your dad would say if we got to hear his side as well.

I have two teenagers. They're good kids because I don't put up with any crap. As long as they live under my roof, they live under my rules! Don't like it, then pack your bags and get out! You think you know everything, then prove it, go live on your own and see how well you do!

There's a reason kids have parents, it's because kids don't have the sense God gave a goat. If we just let kids do whatever they want, they'd self destruct! Be thankful your dad loves you enough to make rules, and be strict. He could just toss you aside, because frankly, you're a handful!

[Wondergirl]

You've read our responses. Now it's time for action.

What's one thing you can do (and are willing to do) differently to improve your relationship with your dad?

[Thinkaboutit]

Than be the daughter everyone would want! It's your choice, and only you can make that choice. If you're not being a good daughter, then become one!

Your dad obviously loves you, otherwise he wouldn't care so much, and he wouldn't be so strict. He has to be strict, because left to your own devices you go out and party, do drugs, drink, contemplate having sex, get into trouble that no one should be getting into, especially at your age!

Left on your own you're just an accident waiting to happen, or a jail sentence waiting to happen! Of course your dad is strict! That's what a good dad does when his child is out of control!

Your dad isn't the problem here. You are! Until you realize that all his rules are for your good, and done out of love, you will continue to make bad choices, and that's what you're doing. Your constant questions on this site show that that's what you're doing. And we only get to hear your side, and that's pretty bad. I wonder what your dad would say if we got to hear his side as well.

I have two teenagers. They're good kids because I don't put up with any crap. As long as they live under my roof, they live under my rules! Don't like it, then pack your bags and get out! You think you know everything, then prove it, go live on your own and see how well you do!

There's a reason kids have parents, it's because kids don't have the sense God gave a goat. If we just let kids do whatever they want, they'd self destruct! Be thankful your dad loves you enough to make rules, and be strict. He could just toss you aside, because frankly, you're a handful!

I know me da isn't the problem I know I am. I can't help feeling the way I do towards me da. It's complicated anyway I have got heaps of advice thank you I don't mean to ask so many questions and be annoying I just find it hard to ask me da and sometimes I question me self if I am doing the right thing.

You've read our responses. Now it's time for action.

What's one thing you can do (and are willing to do) differently to improve your relationship with your dad?

The only thing I can do is just be up front with him about everything no more hiding stuff and just obey his rules. Thanks heaps for advice. I won't bother anyone anymore.