[comittedcasual]

OK... So... When you meet someone... and you both just click.. and everything is really the way it should be.. Things are not perfect, but you manage to communicate so well and work through things together, and everything just seems to be exactly what is needed in a partner. When you accept and understand each other's flaws. When this person cares. Makes you laugh. And you really just enjoy their company, their time, and exactly who they are. When you realize that you have never connected with anyone on this level, and this person may just be the perfect person for you. And when you have plenty of experience with the wrong people. Timing can really be an issue.

I met someone 3 months ago, and since day one until today we have been the most compatible people ever in both of our lives. We truly love each other and care about each other. But neither of us is ready for a serious relationship. However, meeting someone who seems to be the person of your dreams, even when you're not ready for something serious, you feel a little self pressured to give it a try and see if you can make it work because you are afraid you may miss out on the greatest opportunity of your life. That being said. We tried. And we both realized that we are just not at the right time in either of our lives for the overhead responsibility and commitment of a real full blown relationship. So we had to end it.

Now. Nothing has changed between us in terms of how we feel about each other. We are still extremely close. Still love each other. Still enjoy each other's company. And still are attracted to each other. Neither of us are jealous people. Neither of us want commitment. And neither of us are upset about the breakup. Because it was never about the relationship to us it was just about each other. We hold each other very highly in our lives and are extremely close and neither of us ever want to lose that.

However, being stricly platonic friends does not seem reasonable since we enjoy each other physically as well and are still attracted. We both need to have our own time and our own life and our own friends. We both want to be single and focus on ourselves. We would both like to date other people. But very casually.

So the question is, is it possible that we could date casually again as well? Maybe once a week or so. Just hang out. Do simple things. With the possibility of having sex. I say that because we feel we should just be natural with each other and act how we always did. Because it worked for us before it got serious too. We just both had convinced ourselves a relationship was something we wanted because it felt so right with us. We never stopped to consider what our lives were really like and whether a relationship was a good idea for us. So after a short 3 month relationship that was very loving and got serious way too fast can we casually date again?

We just really enjoy each other's time and we have fun and are very flirty and get along so well. We would really like to hold on to those good things about each other and continue getting closer as friends or whatever it is we are. We just want to have no expectations or commitment to needing a future together or having to be accountable or responsible to each other. We want to be able to be us and do our own thing in life without having to be worrying about a serious relationship.

I personally feel completely fine with us not being in a relationship, and her dating other people or even having sex with other people. I think we have done a good job of keeping sex and feelings separate between us.I honestly just want her time and company and friendship and to still enjoy the amazing person she is and have that in my life. Just not everyday 24/7. And we also have a great sex life and connect very well sexually.

She seems to want the same thing. We have talked this through many times, for weeks, and we are on the same page and have really tried to look at every angle of this. But searching online, all results are about going from casual dating to a serious relationship, and I can't find anything about anyone ever going from a new, but fairly serious feeling relationship back to casual dating with the same person. I don't want to feel like we are the only people in the world who think this way or have been in this situation.

[smoothy]

A few people might be able to... most won't. It tends to be a one way street... with no backing up or turning around for the vast majority of people..

[CravenMorhead]

The key here is other people. There can be many, many other stories of it not working, but you could be the story of it working. The key here is what you want. If you want this to stay casual then you can keep it casual, but she needs to as well. You both have to want this and expect things to get and stay better.

You both need the right attitude and to be on the same page. If you or her aren't on the same page or have the expectation that this will work, then it won't. If, for example, you get disheartened and start to believe that this won't work, then you will subconsciously start to sabotage what you two have together.

So to answer your question. You can if you both believe you can and go into this will clear and CONSTANT communication. If that starts to breakdown then everything will.

Good luck, we're rooting for you two!

[talaniman]

When two kindred spirits agree on a plan they can accomplish anything. Maybe neither wants a BIG commitment to each other, but you certainly want a smaller more manageable one. Is that friends? Friends with benefits? Or just one of many casual relationships? I don't know but it will work great until one of you wants more from the other, or finds more from another. Then things will change.

I think you enjoy what you have while you have it, until reality dictates a change or adjustment that has to be made. So far you have made changes smoothly, and that's okay since you both are on the same page, for NOW at least, and are comfortable with it, but the real test is when things get complicated, by yourselves or others. I really don't know if your experiment will work or not, but I do know from experience that it's difficult for most people to juggle many relationships, casual or not, without those feelings (Yours, hers, or OTHERS) complicating things.

Can you go back to just being friends, or keep seeing each other after being in a relationship? Sure you can as long a you are both on the same page. That can change tomorrow though, and does for MANY of the vast majority of us. What will define whatever you have is how you handle it. Together, or apart.

Time is the true test, and obviously you are not ready for a BIG commitment to each other, and that's okay for NOW. Life is about exploring and experimenting with your options and opportunities, and making choices for yourself, and living with whatever the outcome is. If you are willing to take the risk and be responsible for whatever the outcome is... you should go for it!

Personally I think you both are wise to slow things down and see what happens NEXT!

I wish you both much luck.