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New Member
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Mar 2, 2016, 07:12 AM
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Why some people are not content with their gender?
I myself just want to ask if WHY? It is actually about GENDER.
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Ultra Member
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Mar 2, 2016, 07:47 AM
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I am not sure that we are capable of understanding that if we haven't been through what they are feeling. I don't understand why Bruce Jenner did what he did but I know he's been quite clear it's been a life long struggle.
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Expert
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Mar 2, 2016, 08:01 AM
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DNA, hormones ? Mental conditioning, A combination of many things.
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current pert
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Mar 2, 2016, 08:50 AM
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Some in-depth studies have shown that many people (younger ones are more likely to have thought it out) are on something of a sliding scale of gender. It's not just about sexual preference. For thousands of years we identified gender by sex organs. Yet we now know that many males have more female hormones than their fellow males, and same with females. Hermaphrodites are more common than we think too, because doctors tend to pick one to tell the parents, thinking it's for the best. That's the wrong word most of the time, and here is a starting article on the matter scientifically:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/45,X/46,XY_mosaicism
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In love with life!
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Mar 2, 2016, 10:14 PM
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Your question is certainly my question too. Anyways! Some say that it is in DNA i.e. a person is born with the gender. Sometimes it is the surrounding that influence the thoughts and also experience and struggle in relationship can also contribute in this. As said by Bruce Jenner, he/she feels that this has been in his/her mind forever and now he/she had the strength to come out as who he/she is.
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Adult Sexuality Expert
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Mar 3, 2016, 09:49 AM
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Gender is a strange thing. At birth, MOST babies are classified as either Male or Female based on a visual inspection of their genitalia. For most people that is enough. They identify as that gender for their entire lives. Some people do not identify with the gender assigned to them at birth. Some will align their body to the gender that they believe they are. It is allowing them to express themselves as they see themselves to be rather then what they've been told that they are. This is where the mystery of the brain and our own consciousness comes into play. Who can say that gender isn't on a scale like sexual orientation.
Now the cynical part of me also knows that there are plenty of people, look at tumblr for example, who are using gender roles as a way to make themselves feel special or different. A lot of people just want to be different and will do what they can to show that they're unique just like everyone else. It has to be taken seriously, but you also have to be sure.
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Senior Member
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Mar 3, 2016, 10:05 AM
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My feelings on this subject is, you are what you is. By what is between your legs. Just because you want to change the game at the expense of others is wrong. Men in the Women's Locker Room and vice versa does more to make people very uncomfortable. So deal with what you have. PC has a way of being a PITA.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Mar 3, 2016, 10:34 AM
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Originally Posted by catonsville
By what is between your legs.
That's the problem. When the delivering doctor says, "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" he's looking at only a very small part of a human's sexuality. What's going on inside that human in regard to sexual orientation may be just the opposite that involved hormones during prenatal development. What you see in the flesh is not necessarily what really is. (I won't go into what all goes on during pregnancy with establishing sexual orientation. There are several good medical websites about that.)
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Senior Member
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Mar 3, 2016, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Wondergirl
That's the problem. When the delivering doctor says, "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" he's looking at only a very small part of a human's sexuality. What's going on inside that human in regards to sexual orientation may be just the opposite that involved hormones during prenatal development. What you see in the flesh is not necessarily what really is. (I won't go into what all goes on during pregnancy with establishing sexual orientation. There are several good medical websites about that.)
For thousands of years that has been the indicator and it was good enough. Suddenly we get all these off the wall exceptions to the norm.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Mar 3, 2016, 11:10 AM
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Originally Posted by catonsville
For thousands of years that has been the indicator and it was good enough. Suddenly we get all these off the wall exceptions to the norm.
And there were probably some very unhappy (or confused) humans who had to live inauthentic lives.
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current pert
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Mar 3, 2016, 11:21 AM
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catonsville, bet you didn't open my wikipedia link. It's a bit abstruse, but bottom line, babies ARE born with 2 sets of gonads, and doctors DO like to operate at infancy to make a baby one or the other.
There are people who have sued once they reached 18, feeling cheated out of the sex they 'feel' they really are, and that is usually based on hormone levels, not gonads.
Aside from gonads showing, there are some fascinating documentaries now on young children expressing interest in being the opposite sex, and now that many parents are more accommodating, we hear more about them.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Mar 3, 2016, 11:29 AM
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And even if there aren't two sets of gonads, what shows on the outside doesn't always match what's going on hormonally in the inside.
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New Member
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Mar 3, 2016, 12:33 PM
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I'm gender queer, I often think I would rather be a woman then a man, but fear causes me to not commit to that. For me, wanting to be a woman is largely sexual... the desire often times goes beyond sex, it's more then just a kink, but it is still strongly rooted in lust. Looking back now, when I was a little boy I liked playing with barbies and watching girls TV shows, so maybe it isn't as much about sex and lust as I initially thought, but I never considered being a girl like how I do now until I discovered how uncontent I was fulfilling the male sexual role. So to sum it up its like a want to be better. To be prettier. Just like how a boy might want to go to the gym to work out and improve his physical appearance, a trans person wants to be the like the gender they most identify with. Does that make sense? I feel like I rambled a bit.
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current pert
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Mar 3, 2016, 01:07 PM
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3p0L0v3sU, your story is pretty typical.
I think whether or not you act on your feelings has a lot to do with what culture/country/social group you live in.
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Uber Member
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Mar 3, 2016, 06:20 PM
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I'm going to upset a lot of people and thought long and hard before even posting this. But I feel empathy is earned and shouldn't be handed out freely. It devalues it just like anything that's handed out too often.
I have empathy for people with Cancer, or degenerative diseases...particularly young children with them, and while I may not agree with some things... I won't ostracize those that do... unless they feel a need to get up in peoples faces about it, but I won't have empathy either. Empathy and tolerance don't have to go hand in hand.
There is no right to empathy... or acceptance. There is against persecution and lynching.
When Bruce Jenner first pulled this.. my first thought was.. if it floats his boat, who cares... then he went all Kardashian (which I think the entire bunch are idiots and attention wh ores)... and needs to get in everyone's face, and that's what I can't abide.
We don't have any need for 5 bathrooms... Men, women, men who feel like women, women who feel like men, and the poor individuals that were born actual hermaphrodites.
The restroom you use should be determined by what bits you have between your legs. Because small children use them and don't always have adults supervision.
I have no issues with what people choose to do at home... or behind closed doors... and no... I don't give a pass to a lot of activities some traditional people do in front of others either. If its not appropriate in front of a child or group of children... then get a hotel room.
Fewer people will be offending other people if everyone understood the world didn't revolve around each of them. It doesn't revolve around anyone... it revolves around the sun. It actually used to be that way or at least a lot closer to it.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Mar 3, 2016, 06:26 PM
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I'm guessing you've never experienced gender identity confusion, smoothy. :-)
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Uber Member
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Mar 3, 2016, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I'm guessing you've never experienced gender identity confusion, smoothy. :-)
No... but I wouldn't want some 50 year old man adjusting his "junk" under his dress in the women's room with pre-teen girls present. If you get my drift.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Mar 3, 2016, 06:42 PM
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Originally Posted by smoothy
No... but I wouldn't want some 50 year old man adjusting his "junk" under his dress in the women's room with pre-teen girls present. If you get my drift.
He'd be in a stall adjusting himself and wouldn't be in public space. No one would see him (her?).
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Uber Member
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Mar 3, 2016, 07:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Wondergirl
He'd be in a stall adjusting himself and wouldn't be in public space. No one would see him (her?).
You are married and have a son... you know what guys do in the real world.
Then there is another group....pervs that don't have a fear of cross dressing to get into the womens room to do what they do. Which right now they would stand out if they tried. As weird as something might sound....someone out there gets their jollies on it.
Now on the other hand....if there was a group of people that decided it would be fun to beat up on someone in one of these groups....I'd be one of the first people standing up against them doing it. Tolerance can exist in the absence of acceptance or empathy. Its not an all or nothing situation.
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Senior Member
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Mar 3, 2016, 07:39 PM
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Yes, in a perfect world you would be right but the world is anything but perfect Wondergirl. Once you open the door they get that inch and then they go for the mile and in your face until they get it.
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