[Hru]

I'm 18 yo Swedish boy who is HS dropout. For past 4-5 months I've been playing online games 14+ hrs/day with a cute American college girl (21) almost exclusively. She's really good - equal to or even better than me. We talk a lot too. She says she loves me. We want to meet, but I have no money or job. I can't visit her. I hate to travel too. I'm shy with girls. She says she'll come here, but my parents won't allow it. I can't work because I don't want to miss any time online with her. I'm up all night and sleep all day. She's impressed with my devotion - it's all I have to give her. How long can I expect a cute smart older girl to wait for this loser to get his act together - why don't I try even. She doesn't know the severity of my situation. I need her love. Will it last? She's the only good thing in my life and I don't want to mess it up.

[ma0641]

"I need her love. Will it last? She's the only good thing in my life and I don't want to mess it up." You have a long life ahead of you. Teenage angst. How do you know this person is real, online can obscure a lot. Why not find someone local.

[Oliver2011]

Wow. You seem to have everything in place for an incredible future. I especially like the part about "I can't work because I don't want to miss any time online with her." Most girls will not be with someone who can't afford McDonald's.

[Fr_Chuck]

There is no love, there is game playing, you can expect it never to last or work.

You are a loser, you won't get a job, and find a real life. You will be 40, playing games living in your mom's house,

A real person, would talk with her, and make plans to chant outside of games, and understand work, to pay bills and so on.

Also you are 18, your mom can not stop someone from coming to see you.

[Homegirl 50]

She may not even be who she says she is. Get off the computer and get a job.

[J_9]

Also you are 18, your mom can not stop someone from coming to see you.

. If they are planning for this girl to stay at mom's house she can most certainly not allow it.

[Hru]

I thought this at first too. But we skype a lot and talk too. She is kind of semi-famous gamer in our circles and people there know her in person and they're impressed that she chose me over all the others. I wonder why she picked me too. I think maybe she thinks she can change me. Save me from myself.I also wonder how she can sustain her studies and gaming so much. She's actually online more than I am. This does bother me a bit. I know I should ask her, but we avoid the hard topics. I agree. But do talk about some bad things. She gets upset when I tell her she can't come visit me, and wants me to provide hotel room or find a friend who has a flat, but I don't have money for hotel or a friends wit apartments to let. That's not my life and I can't explain that to her. I was trying to quit gaming until I met her, I was working on my GED, but now it's like I'm deeper into it than ever I can't think of anything else, but being online and when we play games together it's like we think as one - we have great teamwork and support one another. People praise us. I don't think you can fake that. My parents are super conservative (and hers too) and frankly I would be embarrassed if she saw how I live. My parents are pretty upset with me at the moment with everything and bringing someone into this situation would not be good. She thinks I graduated high school but doesn't ask questions about my other activities too much. I think she suspects or knows that I don't have too much time for job or studies. She knows I live at home. She lives in dorm and also at home. Her parents don't like the idea of me coming there either and it doesn't seem like her roommate would like an extra guest there either. But she has friends where we could stay. I know it's teenage anxiety but there is like nothing else in my life that has any other meaning. She is it right now. I just want to enjoy every minute while it lasts. I just wonder how I can keep her interested until something can be arranged. My brain knows it won't work, but my heart really wants it to work out, but then I also wonder why she who wants to be with such a loser. Is she a loser too? Or does she see something nobody else does.I think we're two very shy people who found each other who don't judge one another. I just wonder how long can this logistically last if we can't be together for awhile.

[Oliver2011]

None of your post matters.

Get a job. Get off your lazy buttocks and work. Finish school at some level. You would feel so much better about you. Being a loser is a loser and you are choosing this. How about impressing your parents by finding a way to support yourself and finishing school instead of being a burden on them. Quite frankly I would not enable you like your parents are doing. You would have no gaming system, access to TV, or any privileges until you earned them. But sadly you were probably conditioned to be this way.

Now shut off the internet and go find a job.

[smoothy]

Maybe she's a loser too. An even bigger one. If she wasn't she'd have lots a real guys wanting to date her. She's in College... unless she is butt ugly or has ZERO personality... there would be lots of people her own age to date nearby her. In fact it won't ever be easier statistically to get a date than when you are in college. YOu are surrounded by lots of people in your own age bracket..most of whom are still single....

Plus anyone that HAS to resort to online pseudo dating... really is a loser. Particularly at your ages. Most people aren't married and starting families yet instead of the other way around.

Notice I didn't say online "friends"...that is far, far different than having a romantic interest in someone you don't ever see in person....and might not ever.

And even if she did get to visit. That still changes nothing. Her life is here...yours is there. Its not like she lives across town...or in the next city.

Even a dorky girl will get asked out in College. If she's not...that in itself speaks volumes.

Because guys that age if they have no dates..will ask the less attractive girls out..to not spend time alone and in hopes of getting a bit more....as long as they have a decent personality.

I've been in college, so I've seen it myself...and only the ugliest most abrasive types didn't get hit on or asked out by somebody.

I've even dated more than a few I really never saw myself spending my life with when I asked them, they were by my standards maybe 5-7's vs the really good looking 8-10's....and some of those later turned out to have really nice personalities and it didn't work out for other reasons. I admit I never asked out a 1-4 because I was shallow enough to not be willing to at the time. (on a scale of 1-10 with a 1 being Shrek and a 10 being a jaw dropping beauty).

I did eventually marry someone I considered a solid 8 with a great personality in her lat 20's ....who as she grew older...became a solid 9 among her peer group in her early 50's when quite a few lost their youthful looks.

That might seem to be shallow..but its not...I just got lucky and married someone who ages exceptionally well.

Just pointing out that someone her age in college that doesn't have dozens of people trying to ask her out every week...has issues.....serious issues.

[Hru]

Thanks.

I think she's a 7.5. But I'm not very experienced. She seems so cool and funny online. She's in 3rd year college. But I also wondered why being so cute she wasn't out more, but then neither am I. I know I have issues. I guess maybe I'm happy to find someone with similar issues. She says she doesn't like parties and I don't etc. And the real guys she knows aren't interesting and don't share her passion for gaming. I know it won't last.

It's a bit off the topic but I have this old teacher who keeps contacting me regularly asking me what's up and she doesn't lecture or anything, she tries to be funny - some times she is, but I know she's trying to help. She's tried to get me jobs and interested in different projects and offers to help me with homework when I was working on GED. When in school she was the only one who cared I was flunking out, but she was a bit different. Why does she do this? Im not her student anymore. I ignore her a lot until she gets really persistent. She claims she's more stubborn than me but I want to prove I'm even more stubborn to her. I always think Ive won and she's given up then I get an annoying text asking questions again. Is she nuts? She knows the truth about everything, and when I haven't told her, she even guesses the truth. She doesn't know about my gf though and she wouldn't approve but its not her business that I have game girlfriend. How do I deal with this teacher?

[talaniman]

You sound like a troll who uses every excuse they can to be a complete loser despite having people around you who care enough to try and help you with good advice. Why don't you just listen and get the help you need to break your cycle of complete insanity.

Where's your dad as I cannot imagine an adult male allowing this behavior in his house. A size 10 boot up your arse would straighten you right up and the females around you would be grateful.

You need to start listening and get off your own butt. Being a loser is a choice, and a bad one, so get some help for yourself.

[Hru]

I am listening, and I respect your replies especially smoothy. But I'm not going to break up with someone who loves me but I know for sure it won't last. Maybe that's why I discourage our meeting - she's angry with me right now because I have said no to all her suggestions this summer. It's just not possible as I am right now.

She's kind of my perfect girl and maybe some day I will deserve her or someone like her.

My parents have given up. I only get the bare minimum from them emotionally and financially. I want my old teacher to give up too.

I went from a straight A student to flunking out. I still don't understand what happened. Nothing felt good anymore. My girl makes me feel good even if its only temporary. But maybe she's taught me that I'm not a lost cause.

[Oliver2011]

You are choosing to fail, choosing to flunk out, choosing to be a loser, and quite frankly choosing a path where you will always struggle in your future. Bad decisions lead to more bad decisions. Life takes effort and you are choosing to not put in the effort. It's your hole and a hole that you have to climb out of.

"But I'm not going to break up with someone who loves me" Yuck. This girl has issues. Both of you have issues. It's fraught with future failures.

[Homegirl 50]

You need to turn off that computer and get your GED and a job. You are living in a fantasy, so is this girl. You both need to grow up.